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Do your skids get Christmas presents for their bio-parents?

paul_in_utah's picture

This is a follow-up to a post of a coule of weeks ago where I asked about skids getting Christmas parents for their step-parents (plenty of good replies on that one, by the way). However, I now want to flip the script, and ask about the bio-parents. For those of us step-parents who get to observe Christmas day with our skids, how many of them will give a parent to the bio-parent you live with? Also, do you know of skids giving presents to the non-custodial bio-parents?

In my case, in the 15 years I have been around, neither my SD17 nor my SS20 have EVER gotten my DW anything for Christmas. They didn't even make her a card out of construction paper when they were in elementary school. Now that my SS is legally an adult, you would think that he would do something for his own mother, but nope! And SS17, who could set aside a portion of her allowance and get at least a token present for DW - nothing! However, she will use her allowance to get a gift for her "perfect" bio-daddy that sees her two days a month. Keep in mind, my DW pays SD17 an allowance for doing nothing - no chores, no expectations of good grades, etc. Just free money, and SD17 spends it on her bio-daddy.

What kind of experiences are you folks out there having?

hismineandours's picture

I give my bio's 20.00 bucks and take them to the dollar store to buy gifts for whomever they like. Obviously the gifts are not top of the line, high quality stuff-but it is so sweet to see the things they pick out for one another and us and their grandparents. They really put some thought into what can I get for a couple of bucks that this person would like? That being said, I've been doing that for two years now-and we've not had ss at xmas these past two years. Prior to that, when the kids were even younger-we did a gift exchange in the immediate family-as there are 6 of us. But I dont think ss ever got dh's name. So, no, I do not believe he has EVER purchased a gift for my dh. Nor has he bought a card. I think in elementary school-he might have made 1 or 2 things over the years for dh during class projects-but that would be it.

My ds12-last year for his bday got money-he spent it except for 15.00-he took the last 15.00 he had and went and had something made out of glass (my-dh's name)for father's day. The sweetness of it almost made me cry (he is not even dh's bio son). SS got him nothing and didnt even wish him happy fathers day. My ds12-also made my dh a "happy veterans day" card when he was 10 or 11. Again, not a class project, but totally spontaneous. Gee, I am tearing up right now. My ds can be a real PITA sometimes-in that lovely adolescent boy stage-but these incidents remind me how sweet and loving he can be Smile

My ss13 does not really acknowledge any of us at any time. one year-he did buy my ds12 a bday present-maybe on his 10th bday? I'm not sure why as I do believe it is the one and only time he has ever purchased or made or really even acknowledged anyone else's bday in the family?

I dont knwo if he buys bm's stuff. Well, with the exception of onetime we went to FL-ss had moved in with bm probaby 9 months prior due to dh's deployment-dh home on leave-and ss was given souvenir money-he spent all his souvenir money on things for his bm and that family.

Crush's picture

Since I've lived with my husband and his daughter I've always taken her and let her pick a present for him and buy it. Then my husband takes her to pick a present for me and he buys it. As far as her BM who isn't in the picture much my husbands let her buy her something cheap when she was younger (Like bath salts lol) but now that she's older we figure her BM's husband can take her to buy BM something if he wants lol and BM can take her to buy something for her stepdad (BM's husband) if she wants.

z3girl's picture

Rarely! DH is now lucky to get a text on his birthday or Father's Day anymore. He doesn't get cards or gifts for any occasion anymore. It's sad...the more money SD20 costs him, the less she gives in return.

The last time DH got anything was a candle for Christmas 3 years ago.

ms.blessed.n.distressed's picture

Come to think of it SS has never got DH anything unless I said "come on we're going to go get DH a gift for his bday or xmas." He did however buy both of my DDs a cute little stuffed animal each on xmas last year. BM has always got my DH gifts on his bday, xmas and father's day (All from SS and not from her) She us to always make my DH presents with pictures of SS and his hand print, ect. She hasn't done that in maybe 2 yrs of the 5yrs DH and I have been together. She did however do it last yr for some holiday and it pissed me off bc she knows that I take SS to do that and it also pissed me off that I would get SS gifts for her and yet she never got me one. Whatever. Not anymore tho. F her. I do however make her Holiday treats bc she keeps sending nasty cookies over and I wanted to show her how amazing mine are. lol.

Anywho78's picture

I take SS9 & SD8 out shopping for gifts for my SO, MIL & SIL (their special needs aunt). They wrap the gifts that they chose.

SO takes them shopping for my gift.

I don't do anything for BM Nasty as she is a POS. The SKids will be lucky if the 30.00 gift cards (she put A LOT of love into THAT) get here on time...she texted them to tell them she mailed them today.

3798HH's picture

In my home my husband buys from himself to me, and from us to skid. I buy from me to husband and from us to skid. Thats it, SS7 doesn't get either of us anything nor do we take him to buy for his mom and as far as I know when he is over there no one takes him to buy for his mom or his stepdad or stepsiblings that he has there. pretty simple lol

Vichychoisse's picture

Yep. SD13 babysits and she spent all of her babysitting money on gifts for SO, me, her sister, her mom and her friends. I was actually pretty proud of her for using the money she earned for others. She said to me the other day as we were leaving the grocery store, "When I was little I thought the best thing about Christmas was getting presents. Now I think the best thing is giving them." I said, "It feels good, right?" and she responded, "Yeah, especially when I can buy them myself." Awww.

SD10 only has a little bit of money from chores, so we buy hers - but she also gets gifts for SO, me, her sister and her mom.

As a kid I always got gifts for my parents also. I can't really comprehend NOT getting gifts for parents. In fact it wasn't until I turned 40 last year that I made deals with both my parents that we wouldn't bother anymore. Now we just call. Smile