Closely monitored tween and tween stuff
So I monitor my kid's internet activity and facebook very closely. I even read through a couple of the messages occasionally checking in on her. When she is 18+, I will not check through her room or her phone or her facebook, but until she is at least 16, I check everything. I am glad I do too, because I have caught a couple things that were dangerous (talking to a "new boy to town" that talked like a grown man and was really sketchy- which I confronted her about, and she knows I looked in her facebook and read those messages and WHY).
So I found out she is planning to kiss her "boyfriend". She is not allowed to date at age 12 (almost 13), he is not invited here and she is NEVER to go to his house (mom and stepdad in prison and she says the rest of his family had been involved in drugs and fight and everything- not the boy's fault, but not where I want my 12 yr old girl at either), but they are "middle school boyfriend/girlfriend" and text and facebook and see each other at school or at football games at school.
I hoped and hoped she would wait, and I have talked to her since 6th grade about boys and waiting on things and sex and all that. If she starts kissing, I KNOW this kid, she will start "making out" with him.
She will do what other people want "so they will like her" or "not be mad at her". Seriously. I have tried and trained and talked since she was in kindergarten about not doing things just so other people will say they like you (back then she gave away lunch money and snuck barbies out of the house to give to the girls in her class so they would like her...Yeah, $20 new barbies I bought and I did not replace ever again).
She is a good kid. She is really STUPID LIKE ALL TWEEN GIRLS at times, however, about things I have talked with her about until blue in the face (don't talk to strange men on facebook!!!!-this stranger on facebook said she was prettier than her friend, so she tried to give him her GD phone number).
I really hoped she would not be kissing any boys at 12...But they say "I love you" to each other and he calls her "babyyyy" (GAG) and "Boo" (GAG). Of course I know this because I read her texts and messages, but she tells me they have never said "I love you". She lies A LOT. I am afraid if she starts kissing it will turn in to making out then turn into sex acts because she has got caught looking at stuff last year typing sex stuff into Youtube and google (again, normal tween stuff, she heard at school and was curious). This is why, along with the being an idiot on facebook, I look through ALL her internet stuff and do not allow the laptop to leave the living room and must be facing the stairs so Dad and Mom can randomly look down the stairs to see the general screen of the laptop - cant see words, but could definitely see if there were boobs or anything.
I see that most her friends had their first kisses already and are talking about nasty sex stuff all the time. I cannot over-shelter her, but good lord, I never had any conversations like these 12 year old girls, and boys! In mixed company conversations! are having when I was in middle school. The closest thing ever said was "he has a cute butt teeee hee hee". These girls say "C**T" words I won't even say as a 37 year old, and I had a bad sailor-mouth when I was in college (F*** word was about every other word for me for a few years in college then when DSD came along, I started saying "aww bumblebee boogers" and "shucks" LOL and I said a lot of "ffffffffffuuuuuu uuuuuuhh uuuuhmmmm funny bone" for a while catching myself.
This is a typical tween issue, not step related, but this is the only blog forum I have right now and she is my stepdaughter, even if I am raising her as my own and saving up to adopt her. So no, its really not a step issue, but I am looking for Parenting Tweens type of forums in the meantime.
I can't confront her. I can't stop her. Oh it just tears me up thinking of some greasy little pervo boy (they all are at 12-13) kissing my little girl makes me want to just literally vomit and scream. I am not religious, but I will pray to God of all religions that if she does end up peck kissing this boy (this is the first one that has been "affectionate" towards her, the previous two would only wave at her and would text her but nothing more) Oh please do not let her start having sex any time before she is 20....Even 16, I can get some Xanax when she is 16 and get her on birth control, but oh God I pray nothing more comes of this. She is just sooooo easy; tell her she is prettier than her "pretty and popular" friend and she will do anything for that ego stroke.
Again, this is a really really good kid, who does normal middle school girl stuff and she is NOT bad or anything at all in any way, shape, or form. I just worry so much for her and don't want her to get hurt or in trouble. She tries really hard to follow the rules and she helps with chores without even being asked, and she does tell tweengirl lies like all of them, but she DOES TRY. You couldn't ask for a better daughter or stepdaughter, really. She makes good grades, does her homework without being asked, she even did laundry all by herself last night because I was laying down not feeling well.
This is A GOOD KID. I just don't want her kissing no boys!!!!!