You are here

OT - Eff Off Friday

Aniki's picture

Friday at last! In less than 5.5 hours, I'll be on Weekend Time. Woo hoo!!!!!

Eff off to:

  • The effers who keep crabbing about the snow. It didn't keep the kids out of school OR cause any delays with school buses. It didn't keep you from driving to work (so you could beeyotch and whine) and it's all gone now anyways. Sheesh. It is NOT unusual for us to get snow in May. Don't like it? MOVE.
  • Effers who have to be right about EVERYTHING. And not just right, but the "rightest" right - righter than everyone else. Frank says the sky is blue. 853 people agree with Frank that the sky is blue. But Mary? Mary says the sky is actually AZURE and that Frank saying the sky is blue is not good enough. Eff off, Mary.
  • Those who have to have the last word. Every.Damn.Time. And if you don't "get it", here's an imaginary example:
    "Bye, Aniki."
    "Goodbye, Mary."
    "I'm leaving now."
    "Gotta go!"
    "Time to leave."
    "So leave already."
    "Eff off, Mary."
    "Effing off, Aniki!"
  • Effers who fail (or refuse) to read body language. When I'm in mid-stride and my boobs are pointing away from you, the conversation is over.
  • Spiders in the house, in the SHOWER. I don't have a problem with spiders outside (except the littler effer - and his effing cronies - who keeps building a web across the effing front door - EVERY YEAR!). I can tolerate a spider or 3 in the rarely used areas of the house. But in the shower? Right above the shower head? And he drops down in front of my face, so close, I have to look cross-eyed to see him? Time to DIE.
  • Effers who think that multiple routes to the SAME BLOODY LOCATION will result in a different outcome. It doesn't matter if I walk to the end of the hall and the go left then left then left, or walk to the end of the hall and then go right then right then right. I still end up in the same damn place.
  • Finally, eff off to BioHo. This "barren bitch" is attending YOUR daughter's college graduation along with her DH. Who just happens to be your EX and your daughter's STEPfather. Go ahead. Keep acting like the twatwaffle you are and refuse to comprehend why YOUR DAUGHTER prefers her SM and SF there over her bitch-of-a-mother and her mother's cuckolded husband. I only wish you weren't so peeved you'd also skip the after party.


TGIF, STalkers. Hope you have good weekend!




Siemprematahari's picture

Hola Aniki!

Wishing you a wonderful Mother's Day Weekend!

Keep your head up & smile to your hearts desire during the graduation. Enjoy the moment and know that BioHo is irrelevant. She can pitch a fit all she wants but at the end of the day this is Karma biting her on the @ss.

Have a great day and EFF OFF to anyone who gets in your way Biggrin

Aniki's picture

Hola Siempre!

I bought a lovely new dress for the graduation. Which prompted DH to say, "Let's go shopping" so he could buy new dress slacks AND a dress shirt to match my dress. Biggrin

I'm wondering how drunk 'Ho will get at the after!

Gracias, amiga! El mismo para ti!

futurestepmomnowstepgf's picture

I ask because the snow in May and my good friend lives there now and posted snow yesterday. Ah, I can't even imagine!

Amen to the eff off on the spider thing! Yesterday get out of the shower to my cat intently watching and occasionally smacking at her bed. I go over and low and behold is a big spider. She kept biting at him too, but didn't kill him. At least she brought my attention to the spider, especially as it was next to the bed, next to my side!!! So I told bf he needed to evict the spider. He likes spiders and I hate them. So we have a deal when a spider is found and he is there he has the choice to evict him to the outside or the spider dies. This spider died and I was not sad hahahaha

Aniki's picture


Spiders outside are perfectly acceptable! With the exception of the web-across-the-doorway effers. Eviction, indeed!

Step-girlfriend's picture

Eff off to my coworkers! The boss of our agency decided to make Wednesday a "casual day", so we got to wear jeans. Except he didn't tell me about it, despite the fact that my office is RIGHT NEXT DOOR to the his. There is a door between our offices with a window. He couldn't pop his head in to tell me? Or send an email? Jean days are held in high regard here, so to miss it was a sad day.

As for the rest of the bitches I work with...they can eff off too. Although I am pretty much my own dept, I am technically part of a larger dept. The rest of the deptartment is on a different floor. I went by them today to ask a question and hopefully have some human interaction, and was met with coldness and attitudes. One woman consistently acts like I'm not alive. She refuses to look at me, keeps her back turned while I'm talking to others behind her, and replies with the fewest words possible when I ask her a question. She has been downright rude at times. I try to be friendly, but she wants nothing to do with it, and this has been since the day I started. Our boss was fired a month ago, and I am dying to talk to someone about it, but none of them will say a peep. I tried to have a conversation with one of the women, who I'm usually friendly with, and she just kept saying "What? I can't hear you, my radio is on", with an attitude. Another woman came out of her office and offered a wave and then went back in. I swear I am a nice person and get along with people really well. The women here are just not welcoming. Everything feels forced. I've never really worked in this kind of environment before, I'm used to being friends with most people and even hanging out outside of work. I don't see ever hanging out with people here, which kind of sucks.

Siemprematahari's picture

You should consider looking for a new work environment. Everyone seems like a hot mess there.

Step-girlfriend's picture

It really is. I'm hoping eventually I will do real estate full time. But in the meantime, this job pays very well and I have an office by myself with very little supervision and can basically ignore everyone for the most part. Plus good benefits. And to think my SIL interviewed for a position here a while ago! I told her she shouldn't take it if it was offered. Luckily it wasn't.   

Aniki's picture

Then professional and cordial and flying under the radar sound like the best way to go until you have another job!

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Eff off to:

  • Not being able to go to the beach this weekend because the burns on my leg are COMPLETELY open and would get infected as s***.
  • Doctors appointments.
  • The entire weekend alone again. UGH. Don't get me wrong. Alone time is nice. BUT, an entire weekend with no one to talk to and nothing to do is going to get old after a while.

Aniki's picture

PA, can you wear long, loose, lightweight pants to the beach? Or, at the very least, drive out there, put down the windows, and enjoy the beach air?

ProbablyAlreadyInsane's picture

Maybe I should give that a try. It's just a long drive to stare at water I'm not allowed in. It's 3.5 hours away. LOL

Aniki's picture

I enjoy a nice, scenic drive. Can you have lunch somewhere that overlooks the beach? You could even grab a Subway sammich and go.

advice.only2's picture

Oh Aniki you crack me up, and I agree spiders should never ever be allowed in the shower, no matter how close they feel to you!

My eff off is to the power company, and their "planned" outages that always go longer than they should and it's always in our neighborhood!

Eff off to the damn dog who pooped in the house and knew she it was wrong so she cowered in the corner and wouldn't go outside!

Eff off to the exercise room flooding due to the downpour of rains we had all night so now all our equipment is standing in water and I hope it doesn't ruin it.

Lastly eff off to Monday because I can already feel that b*tch breathing down my neck!

Aniki's picture

Sorry to hear about the flooding, advice. Hope things are all a-okay.

I hate when I think about work during the weekend. SO peachy to lie in bed on Sunday night dwelling on what awaits you. Sigh...

Iamwoman's picture

Happy eff off Friday, Aniki and others!

Your “Mary” dialogue is hilarious. Smile

Eff off to: anyone who doesn’t add value in my life.

Aniki's picture

Happy Friday, Iamwoman!

I wish I didn't have to ASSociate with anyone who doesn't add value to my life...

WarMachine13's picture

Eff off to all the effing rain. Mighty Mississippi is flooded and we're getting more rain tomorrow. Think I'm growing gills.......

thinkthrice's picture

on the Mutual Of Omaha's Wild Kingdom series.  He was the last of the crew to go.  I brought my bios up on Wild America by Marty Stoufffer.

Chef's ferals would never even consider watching anything educational. 

SteppedOut's picture

Eff of to my huge German Shepherd that started shedding today.

I keep a blanket on the couch during the day (because I know she gets on it). But when she is shedding she pulls the blanket off for whatever asshole dog reason. So, my couch is covered in fur.



somethingwicked's picture

When is the graduation for SD?Hoping you and DH have a great time and igno the hobag and pinhead .

And that spider story was so effective and vivid in your recounting it scared the beejayzuz outta me ,Ani!

Still shuddering..

omg..IN YOUR FACE that spider.

Yuck. Sounds like sponge baths are the safer alternative..LOL

Have a great weekend!


Aniki's picture

Wicked, it's safe to shower. I murdered the spider and washed his body down the drain. *diablo*