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Grow a Pair!

amyburemt's picture

Dear DH,

  8 years ago we started trying to blend our families. You brought 2 Sd's to the table, 1 was convinced she would never blend. As the years moved forward she kept showing increasing signs of having huge issues which you turned a blind eye to. It was always "what can stepmom do to change how she addresses issues with her and what can stepmom do to make it all better." It was never what it truly really was, a completely broken stepkid who was identical to her narcissistic bipolar alienating biomother.  Fast forward to sd at age 14, she hooks up with an almost 18 year old and then we find out she's been at school having sex with multiple other guys. Fast forward some more and we find out bm has been inviting said guys to spend the night with sd at biomoms house.(we had sd majority of time with biomom eow since judge realized early on biomom was crazy). Fast forward 2 more years, sd age 16, makes a false statement at school that she was raped. We go to the police station and school pulls up video footage of the night in question at a football game. There is sd happily walking around. Police confront sd and she says she made it up. Fast forward 6 more months, SD goes to school counsellor and says she might be thinking about killing herself. She ends up admitted for a whole 5 days with intensive outpatient counselling. During intensive outpatient counselling, she adopts the nice bad habits of other group therapy patients. I would really like to see where the studies are that prove group therapy works for mentally deranged teenagers. After finishing 6 weeks of intensive outpatient therapy, sd is actually worse. January of this year she tells you to eff off she's moving to her moms and you are no longer her father. At that time, you threw some of the blame for her leaving towards me. Fast forward again to this morning, sd contacts you saying she needs 4 thousand dollars out of her account(has a retirement future account set up) which you and bm have to cosign for because the car that was supposedly bought for her 2 years ago by bm was actually bought by original sex puppetman she had at age 14 and now he wants it back. She saw him behind your back with the support of bm for a couple of years then they broke up because aapparently 2 crazy people can't fix each other and now he wants his car back. For months I have been telling you to just ignore and don't reply to bm's texts about what a horrible father you are. I say, refuse to engage in battle but you continue to reply. It's almost like you enjoy this family being belittled and harrassed by these 2 people. We have other kids and a life we are dealing with. I am sad because today I think I realized you  most likely will never just quit engaging them , I think you enjoy it or it has become such a part of your life you don't know what else to do now. It breaks my heart in a way because there is so much more to life than being on constant edge because of 2 psychopaths. I also get angry because you refuse to GROW A PAIR and quit engaging in the ongoing battle. Is it emmeshement? Slowly my respect for you is diminishing over time because I don't see you stand up for yourself or us. Life should be more than the phrase "maybe someday". 




Major Blunder's picture

Life should be more than the phrase "maybe someday". 

Amen sister !  That phrase sucks a little more out of our lives everyday.

NoWireCoatHangarsEVER's picture

marriage? You are stronger than me cause I could not deal with the in laws and the step daughter and the baby and now this . Nope nope and nope . I would just move away from all of that 

Harry's picture

group therapy is the only think out there !  After 100 years of mental health we are still  doing group therapy.  It sort of works in AA  but people really have to want to stop drinking.  mentally deranged people really feel they are normal and don’t need help. Or so off in the mind they can’t help themselves. 

amyburemt's picture

They do view themselves as normal. Our mental healthcare system in this country is BROKEN!