Some days, I just want to scream. Or go on vacation by myself. I know this is somewhat typical teenage behavior , but what do you all do when you have asked that something be done and one of your kids ignores you?
My DH doesn't want to say no or be the "bad guy" anymore since SD17 left to live with her mom. (read my previous posts). We have sd16 and bs15 and bd17 in our house plus my inlaws who are in poor health. SD16 also has a baby who is 4 months old. She is getting used to being a parent and has gotten served court paperwork by the father of the baby(who we cannot stand!) and she is graduating a year early from high school and going to college. My dh's drive is that she get through college which I can totally understand but this also means that she can do her chores half assed and get away with it as he doesn't see that it's important. Now to add to all of that, we have a farm so all of the kids have animals that have to be taken care of and we literally are on her almost every day about feeding her group of animals. During some of the other days, they come home and work on fencing which we pay them for. But I get aggravated because I feel like he discounts the smaller stuff like chores inside the house and puts more emphasis on his aggravation when they haven't done something he asks them to do outside. Almost like when I ask that an inside chore be done it just isn't as important. And then if I ask him about it, he gets all defensive. So I quit asking and then guess what it's never done or it's done a month later.
I am also aggravated that his daughters court battle is becoming ours. He and I have been through our own custody battles. While mine was easier, his lasted for 10 years and cost us 75000 or more. And it was a nightmare. Now he is paying for sd's lawyer. Even if he just took it out of what she gets paid for fencing I would feel better. It was her choice not to use birth control and the guy is a loser. She is also under the teenage dream of it "lasting forever and she will be with him forever". She's 16 and going to college. He is not. But I don't believe a parent should always bail a teenager out of situations they create for themselves. Let her pay for the lawyer. She can get a part time job. She and her bf have come up with a schedule of the baby being shuttled back and forth every other week and every tuesday and thursday. This guy is obnoxious. When sd got served paperwork for court, my dh told the bf that he was not welcome at our house. the bf pushes sd to let him in saying stuff like , "well just tell your dad you are letting me in anyway since i am baby daddy". IT'S OUR HOUSE! He is a little a-hole. Luckily she told him the same thing but usually she just goes along with what he says so she doesn't "lose him.". she literally can't tell him no. I really wish my dh had more backbone or at least found the one he used to have instead of complaining he doesn't want to always be the "bad guy who says no". Which is funny since he hasn't done that in about 5 years.