Is this a cycle?
It's been a while since I last posted and since then DH came back home on his own.. He came back 3 days after saying he wants to see his daughter (our daughter together) and I left him to it and went to the bedroom to give him space .. There he was playing with all 3 kids I can hrar him being extremely nice to them.. Its been a very long time since he treated them that way..
After spending time with the kids he came to the bedroom locked the door and told me he wants to talk... The entire conversation was about me mistakening his relationship with his daughter to be more than what it is and he said I'm over reacting. He said he respects her and he is willing to carry her by a doctor to prove to anyone.. He spent his time trying to convince me and he also said THEY GROW HER UP LIKE A BABY AND SHE STILL HAVEN'T GROWN OUT OF THAT STAGE and that that is what I'm seeing and over reacting.
He admitted that she has major issues with me and that's why he doesn't bring her at our home and he visits her elsewhere.. However he still kept justifying her actions and apparently he doesn't see anything wrong in her actions that I pointed out.. I told him when we were arguing prior to our conversation that he should go f@$k his daughter and that's the 1 thing that bothered him the most.. Maybe I shouldn't have said that maybe I really over stepped and over reacted a little but guess what I said it and I'm feeling better I got it out my chest.. He kept going on and on about how I disrespected him.
He refuses to accept that his daughter is disrespectful and her attitude is always negative and to he honest i dont care to much about her what I'm really angry about is him trying to always justify her actions instead of admitting she's wrong in certain ways and disciplining her where necessary..
Either way I'm very frustrated he hasn't left out home since he is trying to work things out but I'm not sure how I feel about that.. He ever asked for us to go to counseling to resolve our issues..
As I said our home is always peaceful until SD name comes up or he visits or anything to do with SD then a week will never pass by without us having the biggest fight ever.. I would really like to understand why
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He locked the door? To be
He locked the door? To be sure you have to listen to him? WTF does he think taking his daughter to a doctor will do? Please note that he didn't actually talk, he just told you why you were wrong. Do you think counselling would be any different if you tried? I don't. The guy is an abuser and always has been.
By the way, did you get a chance to ask him why he spreads lies to all and sundry about you? Why he thinks anyone would want to go back with him after the slander that he spread?
"DH went telling family members terrible lies about me it's like I'm in shock I can't believe I have been living with a man and have a child for a man that could do me those stuff.. DH told people he gave me half of a million dollars and I squandered all and didn't save a cent.. wow!! I felt so hurt I could cry my eyes out because that isn't true DH and I have been struggling and sacrificing to build ourselves again from nothing because we both came from previous marriages with nothing..
He were telling people long before our last argument that I don't like his DD and that he can't continue tolerating that and that he is going to break up with me and leave me and that he is going to move on and start over his life because I'm not a good person."
After saying that, how can he even hope to work things out?
PS
Yes, this is a cycle and it will remain so until you decide to break it.
Kick this guy to the curb.
Kick this guy to the curb.
What a prick
You deserve better.
Your comment "go F your daughter" I am pretty dang sure many of us have said that in the heat of the moment. Here's the thing when their relationship with their daughters come across as creepy, crossing boundaries, or treating her like the wife in numero uno spot that comment is exactly how it seems. Maybe not literally, but it seems they are F ing the DD not the wife. Meaning putting her at wife status.
Yep. I never thought i would
Yep. I never thought i would feel that way but i had the same thoughts. On a vacation, SD insisted SO rent a fancy SUV for him to drive her in so she could decide how long they stayed. I followed behind in my car since my daughter had school on a certain day. She dressed in such a way that her nipples showed every day and he said he told her to cover them but she never did. He stayed on the beach with her and sent me up to feed the rest of the kids, so he could watch her build sandcastles and dig for shells (with all her parts on display.) Said he needed to "micromanage" her so she didn't get overheated. I cooked and cleaned while she never lifted a finger. We only went where she wanted to go. She stole my cell phone charger multiple times and kept going in our bedroom after he told her not to. She took all my daughter's Prozac. Out to dinner, she kept running around the table to Daddy to take selfies with funny face filters. She's 25. Yep, i had those thoughts and nope, i never plan to hang out with her again if i can help it. Such a disgusting turnoff.
OH MY GAWD
I could never imagine, and I cringe at the thought of letting my pops see my nipples. GROSS!!!!!!!!! Gee and I thought my SD was bad. Do these mini wives have no shame? Your DH shouldve given her hell for looking like that.