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texaswonder028's picture

Ok, this is not so much site related, but in a way it is.
What do all of you think a average sex life is like ??? Meaning how many times a week or in a month span. Be specific twice a week meaning 8 times a month or 5 times a week meaning 20 times a month ect.... Not that it has to happen this way exactly, this is only a basic average.
The reason behind this is I realize life happens and people get distracted from doing the deed.(haha) Such as having kids in your house that are not always there, conflicting schedules, being extremely tired ...ect...ect...
So I am curious to see what your personal views are to see if I am way off. Last night I was making my move when I was told how tired he is and how we will not have the baby all weekend to wait till then. I am 27 going on 28 and I am completely blown away by the fact it was 10:00pm at night and I was turned down do to scheduling sex. WTF we have to schedule sex now???? Anyways after getting a little upset or well alot upset, I went into the other room. He came out of the bedromm and said " Sorry I don't F@$k as much as you want to, that's how I got myself in trouble the first time." I almost fell out of my chair! I told him that he knew what he was doing when her screwed her and I shouldn't pay for his mistakes. After slamming the bedroom door, I watch TV and took a bath and went to bed a couple hours later.
So what do you ladies think. It took everything I had not to rip him a new asshole. Believe me this conversation is far from over. I would really appreciate your input on this.


texaswonder028's picture

"Life is not how many breaths you take, it is how many times life takes your breath away?

loonybonusmom's picture

i just got an email which may put it into focus.....


this kind of sex happens when you first meet someone and you both have sex till you are blue in the face

this is when you have been with your partner for a short time and you are so horny you will have sex anywhere, even in the kitchen

this is when you have been with your partner for a long time, your sex has gotten routine and you usually only have sex in the bedroom

this is the kind when you have been with your partner tooo long. When you pass eachother in the hallway you both say "screw you"

Means you get Nun in the morning, Nun in the afternoon, and Nun at night (Very popular)

this is when you cannot stand your "wife?" (insert partner?) any more and she takes you to court and screws you in front of everyone.


You get a little each month, but still not enough to survive on.

Love and Light everyone!! Loony

PS Kim...hope this can give you a giggle atleast..print it off for your old man and remind him that you can always have any kind of sex on the list...especially on a free weekend

Nymh's picture

We're very active. I have a feeling this is not a very accurate representation of "average"... For us, normal is about 5 times a week or more. During period week I just do favors for him. So I'd say on average, 17 times a month and then maybe 5 favors from me to him and 2 or 3 favors from him to me.

Of course, we don't have any children living with us. Though HOPEFULLY it won't go down much from that when we do!

*~So sayeth Nymh~*

BlueberrysBaby's picture

Holy hell, Nymh... Are you feeding him Spanish Fly when he's not looking? That's exceptional! Now I know how you got your username Wink

Unfortunately my DH is gone on business a LOT and BM1 has a way of calling just when you think it's safe to go back in the water (the biggest turn-off EVER) so we just don't GET to even when we want to.

Blueberry's Baby

loonybonusmom's picture

AND I suppose I didn't answer that did I. I think me and dh would fall in higher than average too....but that was part of us getting together I think, and I think it is part of keeping the love. I am sure not in the area of Smurf Sex but, we rarely go 48hrs without. And Nymh...we trade "favors" here toooo! Dh would even joke..he would only marry me if i could guarantee that he would never go two days without...I let him joke on cause I wasn't going to wait either....I don't have the patience for yoga, but I love the daily sweaty workout that I can share with dh!!! Have a GREAT WEEKEND EVERYONE!

texaswonder028's picture

Damn girl can your husband please give mine a call. LOL!!! I think I wouldn't be able to walk for days. Thank you for your honest input.

BlueberrysBaby's picture

You ARE nutty, Fearless, but I loves ya.

Blueberry's Baby

CplStv's picture

"Average" is for Losers...LOL

I'm Capable of 60-90+ encounters per month, and Contented at 20 to 30 per month, but depending on schedules, KIDS, etc. it's usually closer to 20 give or take... Mutual Satisfaction is pretty much a given, one way or another.

If I were Keeping "O-score" I'd be way behind in the stats(2 or 3 to 1 is generally minimal), but more than three in a row is very draining,and I do need to reserve some energy to breathe etc.
Yes, I am Multi-O'mic, even at My Age...LOL

It's not easy(I almost said Hard) being semi Satyric (Male version of Nymphomaniac)but I'd rather hear complaints that I am Too Affectionate, than Neglectful...


Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL

Georgie Girl's picture

So far we are pretty busy. Wink We are going on four years and we rarely go for more than two days. Sometimes am and pm too!. Hope it lasts!!

CplStv's picture

BE AFFECTIONATE, Little Caresses, Kisses, and Comments(I Love You, You are So Beautiful, Damn You Look/Smell/etc. So Good/Sexy/etc.)


Kids are the Best and Worst Things We can do to Ourselves. When We have nothing else worth living for, We'll go on, for Them, but Oh How We Miss Our Freedom...LOL

Georgie Girl's picture

Once again Steve, you are right on the money. It is that exactly that I love about my DH.

Anne 8102's picture

No kidding. It's difficult to find the time when you have one kid not yet in school and hubby works an odd shift. He goes to work at 11pm and is home at 6:30am. I get up and start my day at 6:00am and go to bed at 11pm, when he gets up. If he works, we don't go to bed at the same time. Since he works most weekends at least one day, that usually only gives us one night a week of opportunity. When he's working a lot and we don't get that many opportunities, then it's once or twice a week or whenever he doesn't have to work. (If he doesn't get ANY days off, then sometimes we don't get the chance for two whole weeks!) When things were bad between us, we've gone months without. I guess on average, we get it done once or twice a week when he only gets one weekend day off, but when he gets two or three nights off in a row, we do it every single day. That would put our average at about 8 times a month or so. I think we would do it more if we actually went to bed together more, but honestly, I think we're both okay with once or twice a week regardless. His working nights has hampered our sex life a little, but it does give us the ENTIRE DAY to spend together and we do take advantage of it by working on projects together and just having more quality time together. It's a fair trade-off.

I don't think quantity is anywhere near as important as quality. I don't think either party should feel guilted into giving it up if they don't want to. I don't think there's an "appropriate" amount of sex or an "inappropriate" amount. I don't think age has any bearing on anything... as long as you put your Life Alert on the nightstand so you don't hit the button by accident right in the middle. I don't think fighting about not having sex is the way to go about getting more sex. I don't think it matters how long or how short a time span you've been married or how many kids you have or don't have. I think it's one of those things that you just have to go with the flow and if things aren't flowing, then you have to get creative and inspire your partner.

If we didn't schedule sex, we wouldn't EVER have any! But you know, sometimes scheduling it is good. Think about building the anticipation! Wink

Don't worry, Fearless! You're not alone!

~ Anne ~

"Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission."
-Eleanor Roosevelt

goldenlife's picture

He's a firefighter and I'll be damned if I let him leave the house looking oh so fine in his uniform without being fully satisfied! lol

Put us down with the other rabbits on this site! 5 out of 7 days is the normal for me and my DH - still sheet grabbing and toe curling!!!!

BlueberrysBaby's picture

When DH IS home and BM1 isn't calling up bit*hing about one thing or another and turning me into a big ice block, it's fanTAStic. Toe-curling, waking up the neighbors, spectacular! We joke about the old lady in the next apt. being able to tell whether it's "going away sex" or "welcome home sex" LOLOL

Blueberry's Baby

goingcrazy's picture

Kids or not, tired or full of energy.... That is a very important part of keeping the marriage good. I have never really kept track of how often, but I know we are being sexual in some sort of way all day long. I would guess roughly 5 days a week we actually do the deed. Usually one of those is a quickie. But we are always touching each other or "exchanging favors" (as you ladies have affectinately termed it)throughout the day, seven days a week... Unless one of us is on our death bed sick. And this is a decline from when we first got together. It was usually three to four times a day, and place the mood hit. We did go through a dry spell (about a week) where DH was rejecting my come ons and it was pissing me off and making me cry. Then I decided to solve the problem. I made my moves, he was too tired and didn't feel good so I told him "Fine, then you lay there and go to sleep. I don't need you anyway" I proceeded to take care of business right next to him. Needless to say, he suddenly felt better and joined in the fun. Now the only problem is that five days a week is still not enough for me Smile but it will do.

Sebbie's picture

NCP should have rights too! No matter what the world around us brings, DH and I always make the time for each other. Our sexual appetites is one of the things that brought us together and keeps us together. We both are extremly sexual so it is in every aspect of our life together, in and out of the bedroom(always loving on each other and flirting with each other). As for the actual deed,more often than not a week doesnt go by that we dont do the deed every day at least one time( sometimes two). Who needs meditation when you get this kind of stress relief.

proud mom's picture

but when he is home it is daily (at least once but usually more) and doesn't matter where at in the house so after a year together it is still SMURF for us lol and ohhhhh the favors that are also exchanged i sooo hope it stays like this forever!!

Live for today,you may not have a tommorow

Little Jo's picture

Loony, that was great.

I'ld like to think BF & I are normal. 3-4 times a week, except that one week a month. For me, I take quality over quantity.
I just told him again last night, It must be love because no-one has ever rocked my world the way he does.

You tell me, is it normal for it to take about a half an hour to re-again normal speech after you finished?

BIOMOM's picture

But this is one of those unfortunate times where our lives parallel. I don't know if it's my age, or the simple fact that I finally found someone I actually WANT! But regardless, if its once a week I consider myself lucky.

However, with Tim's health issues, I try so hard not to be offended. He has been told he is "cancer-free" after a year long bout of chemo. (Whatever cancer-free means?) Chemo ended in February. But even before the cancer he wasn't as eager as me.

On the rare occasion when I can approach the subject, it always ends up with me feeling really unwanted and him feeling inadequate. So I try to be understanding. But DAMN, I can only be so understanding Wink

I have told him to take a poll in work and ask all his "buddies" how many of their wives initiate sex. I thought that the response would be an overwhelming "no". But after reading here all the responses from the women, I realize that perhaps I'm wrong. Maybe women are hornier than I thought. And here I thought it was just 'lil 'ol me...... }:-)

Anonymous's picture

I think average is twice a week. Ours is at least once a week. But then we make it so damn good. We both work long hours, but we do all the neck kissing and the comments to get each other excited, but then by the time you have finished all chores again and get to bed a cuddle is all we give, but its always reassuring.
I have always been invited to have sex any time I please to, I know how to press his buttons.
I think we wore ourselves out when we were dating lol.
Trying to work it around kids and skids takes the fun out of it as well.

texaswonder028's picture

I appreciate everybodys involvement in this survey. I agree with BIOMOM about discussing sex, leaves me feeling unwanted and him feeling inadequate. There has to be a better way to bring up this subject. I agree that one should not feel forced to do the deed if not wanting to, but sex is very important in a relationship. Quality is far better than quanity, but why can't we have both. I know there is a common ground for both of us, it is just a matter of reaching it.
I hope this helps anyone else out there who feels they too have issues in the bedroom. Pray for all of those who need it more, and happy for those who don't. Good luck to all of you.