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Aly Fran's picture

If you have been reading my blogs here's an update on the last blog I posted (about feeling suicidal and reaching the end of the road).

I have been keeping myself occupied with my kids while planning my escape. I have a place secured to move, the only thing holding me back is my children's school. My eldest son has exams next year March and he's in the process of preparing for that. If I move him then his education maybe at risk, so I'm working on that.

While I figure it out I'm trying my best to stay calm and keep myself occupied with my kids.

I detached myself from DH altogether, we've been sleeping  in separate rooms and respecting each other boundaries, I'm not speaking to him and I try really hard to keep out of his way as much as possible. He behaves like if he accepts that we're no longer together and things can never work out between us. 

What he doesn't know is that I'm leaving, he thinks he still has me in bandage and I'll remain wrapped around his finger forever. I'm not trying to alert him of my plans though. Because I really will like everything to run smoothly.

However, since we've reached this point in our relationship he verbally and mentally abuses me every chance he gets. During it, I'm putting my faith in God, I surrender everything, my life, my problems ny children into his hands and leave it to him. I'm praying about it every minute of the day. 

Because living with this man is living with the devil, I've been in he'll for a long time. I can't wait to get out and heal and be happy once again. I'm seeing the light at the end of the tunnel, so I'll get there slowly but surely.

I've reached a point in my life where I now have nothing but pure hatred for this man and his daughter. May they never have peace within themselves because God alone know what I endured with them...


Survivingstephell's picture

Keep posting while you are stuck.  There have been plenty thru the years that had to do a long escape.  

Stepdrama2020's picture

Why cant your son write exams at his new school?

The scope of your situation is dire. Safety trumps exams . 

Your douche of a bag DH can and most likely will escalate his abuse . He is capable of harm to your mind and your life. He could start at your kids. The trauma by staying will last a lifetime for you and your kids. Your lifetime may not reach its potential by staying with an abusive partner.

You have secured a location. So go. Leave when he isnt there. Let police family anyone know your situation and get the help you need.

In all honesty I pray too, but prayers do not stop the abuser. That is just my take. Im not mocking prayers at all.

LEAVE PLEASE for the sake of your precious kids if not for yourself.

justmakingthebest's picture

You son WILL forgive if his education has a hiccup. This is about your life. Leave. Your son with thrive in another school know that you are safe and with him.