You are here


Aly Fran's picture

So as of lately my narcissistic partner keeps saying to me: " my ex wife (BM) was, is and will always be a better woman than you will ever be, she's a damn good woman the best there is on the face of this earth and you, you're a nasty whore, a bitch and a disgrace"...

After  when he cools off he's trying to get me to sleep with him, he's hugging me and squeezing me to get me to give in, which will lead to us fighting because I scorn him so much that I don't want him to touch me at all...

Did I mention this is not the first time he compared me to his ex wife/ BM. Whenever arguments gets heated between us or his daughter creates mischief between us he mentions the above quote about his BM. 

Then he expects me to sleep with him as if I don't have any feelings.

I hate myself and my life so much, it's a shame to be me..



CastleJJ's picture

You need to leave, NOW. Nothing else matters, not your son's education, nothing. Because if you don't leave now, your kids will have a broken Mom who won't be able to help/protect them. This is ABUSE and when he realizes you are detaching, it may turn physical. Use as many resources as you can, family, women's shelters, friends, work, public assistance. You just need to get out of there. 

If your DH wants his BM so much, he can go be with her. 

thinkthrice's picture

He should never have gotten divorced then.   RUN!!!!

Aly Fran's picture

Thus is my same thoughts, if she's such a queen why leave this woman and divorce and currently after verbally abusing me (the whole etc) you're literally forcing me to be affectionate with you and force me to be in a relationship with you, just to take abuse daily.. I feel more abused from this man than love. 

SMto3's picture

He doesn't love you. Love is an action. It's not just words and sex. You need to get out of that situation. 

Rags's picture

Please.... end this now and get on with your life. Let this POS go back to his X. Who likely dumped his ass since no one of quality would tolerate his toxic crap.  Since she is so great, she obviously purged this asshole from her life.



Aly Fran's picture

There's no doubt she got rid of him but he'll switch the truth around to make himself look good because he cannot take rejection. He often speaks highly of her and his daughter... 


Rumplestiltskin's picture

This guy is definitely the type to stir up drama on purpose, to feed his own ego by having women (you, SD, BM, and Lord knows who else) fighting over him. He is a toxic a-hole and you and your kids will be better off the farther you are away from him. 

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Did you contact any of the resources that Aniki gave you? Please start working on your mental health so you can get strong enough to leave this man. There is no reason to stay with him. Every time you post it gets worse. Please start taking steps to move on.

Aly Fran's picture

I did contact the number, I'm so grateful because I never knew this existed in my country. They have been very helpful and supportive.

And they're guiding me.

shamds's picture

Relationship end?

any husband/partner who calls you a whore, bitch, disgrace etc has no respect for you. This is a toxic relationship to be in and narcs don't change. Everyone else is the problem and they have an over-embellished sense of self.

Even when i had many issues with my husband with his lack of and excuses for poor/non existent parenting of my ss/sd's, I didn't use bulgar language calling him bitch, pimp, stupid etc. we're very direct people and vent to one another and communicate our feelings and needs etc in a respectful way.

when i feel he has let me down and not stuck up for me and protected me from the toxic sd's and years ago ss's behaviour, I would tell hubby my feelings and needs etc. there was none of the language your partner is using. Why stay with a man who thinks so low of you?

narcs will repeatedly do the hot cold treatment hoping you fall for it. This isn't a healthy relationship or marriage 

Aniki-Moderator's picture


I googled and found this for your country:


PLEASE find someone to talk to now! 

There are women's/children's shelters like Tabitha's and O.A.B.I. Call them and ask for help. We can only do so much across the internet. Keep reaching out. Prayers. 

Winterglow's picture

Forget your son's exams, trust me, he would do so much better if he was out this hellish situation. Have you considered the damage that being exposed to all this abuse is doing to your children? You may think you're hiding it from them but kids miss NOTHING. Trying to study in a home where there is so much abuse of all sorts is next to impossible because of the permanent huge knots in your stomach and living on edge. I speak from experience.

SMto3's picture

Before I was with DH I was in a 10 year relationship with an emotionally immature and abusive man. I stayed for 10 years because I hoped I could love him out of being abusive and I hoped he would change for me. Abused people cling on to hopes and "the good times",  He never did change and in fact, threatened mine and my moms life when I moved on with DH. I say all this to say that abusors do not change, no matter how much you think you can give him or love him out of it. You gave him a child and he still treats you like this. Don't be like me. Leave him now and don't make excuses for him. Forget about everything else. This man is polluting your environment, which is bad, but you're the protector of your children's environments and you shouldn't allow him to screw with your kids' sense of safety and normalcy. 

DPW's picture

Wow, cruel. Those words could never be forgotten. 
You should not expose your son to this, leave asap!

CLove's picture

Im so sorry you are going through all this.

Im glad you are playing the long game of getting out, but wish you would play a shorter long game and get out now.

Document document document. Save $$$ wherever you can. Start building your tribe. 

SusanL's picture

Please go to a Women's Center and get some counseling.  If you can't find a Wonens Center go to your place of worship and ask for help.  You need to get stronger mentely and then make plans to leave.