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Just a little aggrevated

alwaysthemom's picture

I've been searching for how to deal with ex wives for my husband and all the info seems to be about single moms. Is there no info for men that have custody of their kids? Not even on the attorney generals website. It's all about single moms and what they should do. Why is it so one sided? Does the court system not believe there are dead beat moms???

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anabihibik's picture

I noticed this too when I was looking online to help out the fiance. It's pretty sad.

To every thing there is a season.

goingcrazy's picture

of crap and very little help out there. DH has custody too and we have found very limited resources. That is why we decided to start our own non profit organization. If you want something done right, you gotta do it yourself! It is still in th early stages, and we have met with numerous supporters. The paperwork is being drawn up and we have been told it will take six months to a year. The church we attend gets national exposure and our pastor is getting ready to take his sermons onto international tv. He is working with us as well to try and get something started.

I just got flat out fed up with hitting a dead end everytime. Now, DH and I have gathered quite a bit of information and resources. We handled our case pro se for awhile and became pretty educated. If you have a situation and would like me to see what resources I can find, let me know.

We actualy did get a good deal if information from Pat Chancellor who heads up DADS in New Mexico (but that is where our case is). They have a national website that will link you to whoever represents your state. I am not sure if all the states are as helpful, but he was an asset to us at several stages.

www.dadsdivorce.com

I have done extensive research on the statistics of custodial fathers and just recently was given the opportunity to speak on the topic at a local forum at the University here. I used the stories of several people here. The statistics are alarming. Here are a few that I discovered:

89.5% of non custodial fathers are currently paying their ordered support. Yet, only 24.6% of non custodial mothers are paying their support.

40% of mothers reported that they have in fact withheld visitation in order to punish the ex spouse

Approximately 6.5 million children in the United States are the result of divorced families. Of those 6.5 million kids, only 740,000 are living with their fathers.

Take a look at this Youtube video that someone sent me when we first set up the Campaign for Madi. It is a real tear jerker!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uWow42TCwzg

As a biologcal mom, I never would have imagined that I would be so supportive of father's rights over mothers. But when I became a stepmom and started witnessing the injustice that DH suffered, I knew I had to take a stand. Funny thing is, the AG has even destroyed my ex and I want to stand up for him too! Men need someone to help them in this system. It sucks!

"I didn't lose my mind, I sold it on ebay."

Regretful1's picture

I have also noticed this, although in our case we have 50/50 custody...but ALL the info online assumes that the mom has full custody. Last week my DH went out of town on business...and it was his 'kid' week. That left me working my demanding FT job with a 45 minute commute, and caring for my two kids (5 and Dirol and his two kids (8 and 11). It WORE me out! And their BM was home (lives 2 miles from us), but just didn't want to watch them...she had partying to do! I would NEVER do that to my kids! I would take them in a heartbeat, even if it wasn't my 'week'!!! I would love to get full custody and not have to deal with her selfishness...poor SD felt awful knowing her mom was 'around' but chose not to be with her... Sad

bellacita's picture

the court system doesnt belive there are men out there who actually WANT to see and raise their kids, let alone have custody of them! its like in the Harry Potter movies when the minister refused to believe Voldemort was back even though Harry said do...if that were really the case, then the courts wouldnt be able to paint the picture of all the poor single moms who works their butts off and get NO help from the deadbeat dads who, in their minds, left them to shack up w and have "new" families w gals like us.

"Given the right reasons and the right two people, marriage is a wonderful way of experiencing your life."
~the late great George Carlin

ColorMeGone2's picture

Why do custodial BM's get all this free support in enforcing dads to pay CS, but non-custodial dads have ZERO free help in enforcing visitation orders?

♥ ANNE 8102 ♥