O/T. When your job is great except for the money.
I have been applying for jobs for awhile now, begrudgingly.
Of course, if I didn't live in step hell, where a large chunk of income goes to kids who are not mine, I may have been just fine at this job, but I digress...
My dilemma is that my job is great. It bores me sometimes and stresses me out at other times, but I have 2 wonderful bosses, I work with co-workers who are all tolerable and I am given a lot of freedom. If I need time off it is rarely an issue. My direct boss just wants the work done and once it is done he doesn't care to micromanage what anyone does. They have monthly gatherings where we take a half day and have appetizers and cocktails. They give generous Christmas bonuses. Very laid back and nice.
The problem is that it is a small office and while there are perks... they are pretty cheap and stingy with actual raises. In 4 years I got one extremely small raise. I make shitty money (think entry level ... and I have been in the field 8 years) and I don't see another raise on the horizon. The woman I work next to has been here a decade and got one raise!!!
So, I have been applying for jobs that will pay me at least 10-15K more per year. It makes me a bit sad and anxious because I do not really want to leave... I just NEED the money! I need to make "real" money... the paycheck to paycheck lifestyle is too damn stressful. Plus if I make more money I would feel better potentially going back to school. Or possibly purchasing real estate at some point. It would open more doors.
I guess my biggest fear is leaving a mostly enjoyable environment to go to one that could potentially be soul sucking. My first office job was so bad! I saw them go through at least 15 employees in 2 years. They were cruel bosses and always breathing down your neck.
I guess it comes down to valuing your sanity or a bigger paycheck! Unless I get lucky and find another really laid back place (doubtful.)
How do you all feel about your job? Is more money worth more stress?
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I've been there. Didn't want
I've been there. Didn't want to leave my position (before this one) because I had a great boss, who wasn't even in my same office and I could work from home and the boss was super flexible and gave good raises and Christmas gifts
Then our work from home got taken away (kind of) and then boss promoted my co-worker and not me (which I felt was total b.s.) so that really pushed me to find a new position.
Found a position that was PERFECT for me and more my cup of tea. I was nervous about having a boss in my building again but it actually worked out. A lot of my fears were unfounded. And even if there are things that I don't like, it's nothing that is a deal breaker.
Flexibility is great and all that but end of the day you can only go so far with that. More money is going to make your life better. Now I am not saying take a better paying job with less flexibility but don't let flexibility control what you're doing career wise for yourself.
If you find another position
If you find another position that pays more, don't hesitate to take the offer letter to your current boss and ask if they would be willing to match. If they're not, then you have a new job waiting for you. If they do, then you get more money and you get to stay in an office you like.
Would you even be thinking about quitting if the step kids weren't in your life? I think I had brought it up to you before that when you find yourself having to rearrange your life in order to accommodate his, that it's probably time to reevaluate. Well, this might be one of those times.
Either way, good luck with the job hunt!
If I were in a relationship
If I were in a relationship with a man who didn't have the debt or kids, I could probably keep my job. If I were out on my own, this job wouldn't afford me much. So realistically it is a smart move for MYSELF. If that makes sense.
He is on worker's comp right
He is on worker's comp right now and has to finish physical therapy before he goes back to work. I don't know the exact date he will be back. He makes good money, better than me, but his field of work has its limitations too.
I have thought about applying
I have thought about applying for jobs that pay less but aren't as stressful and fast-paced before, so I think the grass always seems greener on the other side. If you really love your job, think it over a bit and decide if it's worth it.
Just make sure you're new job will make you happy in other ways than just financially!
Here's my 2 cents. Those of
Here's my 2 cents. Those of us that work FT spend a large chunk of our waking hours at work. I have worked for many different organizations and can say without a doubt that working in a toxic environment will have a horrible impact on your quality of life.
Here's what I see you telling us.
1. You like your job and are comfortable with it. Like any job, it has it's good and bad days, but you are generally happy with the position.
2. This is big: You like and get along with your co-workers. I have had horrible bosses and coworkers and this can make even a dream job into a nightmare.
3. If you were on your own, you would probably keep this job.
4. The financial stress in your household is due to your DH, his additctions, his kids, his situation.
To be honest, a new job is probably the last thing that you need right now. You have enough on your plate dealing with your DH without the stress of a new workplace and co-workers.
As far as the money goes, I would demand your DH step up and figure out how to pay his way. If he can't pay his portion of your current standard of living, you need to work together to downsize until he can... that is if you stay with him.
I truly feel you would be better off without him though.
It is huge to get along with
It is huge to get along with co-workers. I do not miss the days of my old toxic work place!
If I were on my own, I would probably need a better job. This job would afford me a tiny apartment (studio) in my area and not much else.
DH's comp keeps the roof over our heads and fuel in his car, but not much else. The agreement was he pays rent and I pay electric, cable, cell, car insurance and groceries. The problem is anything extra falls on me (occasional entertainment for skids, rare occasions we go out with friends, pet care.) So what I need from him is more help with the "miscellaneous" expenses (especially since he is the father).
For now his income is fixed and until he is back to work we are strapped. It makes me resentful most days.
I understand how you feel.
I understand how you feel. My Ex had champagne tastes.. and had the potential for earning a good living, but would lose his job intermittently which would leave ME with the burden of paying all our bills while he found new positions.
It was especially frustrating since I would have been happier with a smaller home, used car etc... but he had to keep up appearances (with my salary).
Even though you might only be able to afford something small right now, there would also be a chance you could have a larger place with a room mate? or.. at some point meet another partner to live with. Living in a small place isn't so bad... if it means happiness in other ways.
I guess my biggest issue with what I see about your situation is that it just isn't that your DH is an innocent bystander to his life. He actively makes decisions that put you in a worse situation than you need to be.
While he is not working, his kids need to understand that "extras" are not possible because DAD can't afford them. He might not like it, but if he can't afford it, it's not fair to put the burden on YOU.
I admit, I tend to spend when
I admit, I tend to spend when bored. It is a bad habit. On a dreary winter day I am guilty of taking skids to go do something, and spending money, just to get us all out of the house. Or if I go out on my own, I am going to end up at a store, convincing myself I need something. Or sometimes I will want to go get take out and DH will say "AJ we have plenty of food in the house."
That being said, he also could further his education or earning potential, but he is the complacent type who will work as hard as necessary but not go a step further. Not a "go-getter" type. I used to think we were on the same page, we both always said a simple life was what we wanted. A small house with a little chunk of land for our dogs and some money to afford us a yearly vacation. I don't think I realized how expensive kids were. He definitely didn't either when he had them.
I understand.. but it's your
I understand.. but it's your money. I am guessing you feel pressure to spend generously as well.
That is definitely tough but
That is definitely tough but it is also very admirable that you choose to dedicate yourself to helping people who are deserving of the help. Basically you didn't sell your soul for money.
I love where I work, the
I love where I work, the people I work with and for, and what I do. I don't make a lot of money because I work for a non-profit, but I would much rather spend my time doing what I love than making a lot more money.
Don't live your life in fear.
Don't live your life in fear. If you want a job with more money- go get it. If it doesn't work out, then go on to the next for even more money. Everything leads to something. The bad job you had led to the one you like, correct?
I always figured if I have to work 40 hours a week, I might as well make as much money as I can. I can find satisfaction outside of work. Make as much money as you can, save it, invest it and get to the point where you have financial freedom (your money making money).....then you can work for fun.
Thanks for this. I do need
Thanks for this. I do need to stop letting fear dictate a lot things!
AJanie...have you asked for a
AJanie...have you asked for a raise?
No... too nervous. My
No... too nervous. My co-worker did and that is how we all got our last raise, but she had to "pull teeth" and shes been here 10 years...
Well there you go. Get your
Well there you go. Get your figures together and make your case for a raise. Just for you.
We normally only give 3% cost of living raises here. So you need to take into account how many years you have gone without a raise and come up with a figure.
The worst thing they can do is say no. Who knows…maybe they will give you a good raise and you can make good money and still stay there.
And don't be nervous!! People ask for raises everyday and the world keeps spinning.
Edit to add...get your figures together tonight and ask tomorrow. If not you will just chicken out. lol
Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh sooo scary!
Aaaaahhhhhhhhhh sooo scary! haha. I will think about it!
My job pays well and is soul
My job pays well and is soul sucking. I can't find anything else comparable that pays more than half of what I'm making. That 2008 great recession really hit the salary offerings hard.
You can make good money if you life in a large metro area, but then you have large metro area expenses.
I don't really have any advice. It sounds like you need a change, but don't take a salary leap so high you can't afford to drop back down a bit to take something less soul sucking. And stay within the range of your employer having to pay you overtime if you work more than 40 hours a week. Once you go above that amount, they own your life.
My plan is two years and one month (end of CS) and I either resign and find something girnormously less stressful (and part-time -- it's my turn to be a SAHM -- BM got her time to do that) or go seriously part-time, and demand that they pay me for any hours I work above my contracted hours. I was "part-time" before and ended up working 40 hours a week most weeks, but still got paid part-time.
It really is so important.
It really is so important. My bosses will both likely be retired in 5-7 years so there is a part of me that wants to put in at least 3 more years here before looking. I swing back and forth on the issue because that extra $10k would be so damn helpful but it isn't like it would launch me into the upper class, lol.
You are very likely to end up
You are very likely to end up with spending up to the "new" pay limit anyway and after a few months, you won't feel any different about your earnings.. but you may feel unhappy with the work.
with bosses within a few years of retirement, isn't that also an opportunity for you in a few years possibly to take those jobs?
I would do some research and see what other comparable pay is in your area for a similar job and go to your bosses armed with facts. The worst they can say is that there is no money in the budget.
But to be clear.. don't tell them you need more money tell them you are WORTH more money!
i love my job. i love the
i love my job. i love the people i work with. i have not had a raise in almost 10 years and make crap salary. i've worked here for fifteen years. in 2004 my boss cut his salary in half and has kept it there ever since. we had one girl leave to go work with her husband and we did not replace her. on 12/30 we had to lay off another employee. effective 1/1, our second largest contract bailed on us (this is the reason we did not replace the one and laid off the other - that contract was responsible for 1/3 of our company's income).
dh is still on workman's comp, he has been for two years. we're paycheck to paycheck right now, but i'd be far more willing to file bankruptcy than leave my job. that's how much job satisfaction means to me. i really wish i could find something online to do at home to earn extra money, but have yet to come across anything that's not a stupid scam.
you'll figure out what's best, AJ.
I have a different
I have a different life....
my job and boss sucks.... I hate it.... but the money is good, been looking for something else and not prepared finding a nice job with half the salary.... nope I'm to greedy.... guess I just have to suck it up