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Just a quick note

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 2:17pm

New job is going AWESOME, but I'm so busy I can barely breathe! Far cry from being bored for 7+ hours per day at the last job. I've already impressed my bosses, my old coworkers have welcomed me back and I'm doing well here.

DD15 and I have been doing tons of things this summer so far and I can't believe she's only with us for another month before heading back to Michigan. We've gone to 4 concerts so far and have 2 more to go (maybe more if she finds more to attend and I have the money).

DH and I are doing great as usual. No word at all from stepdevil14 (who turns 15 next month, in which DH will send her a card, no gift) and no word from her satanic mother either even though we were pretty sure she'd say something after DH declined her Mexico trip.

I miss you all here! Hope everyone is doing ok! Catch you all later!

Comments

dragonfly5's picture

Submitted by dragonfly5 on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 2:23pm

Good to hear from you! You are one of the first people I PM'd with when I joined ST a couple of years ago.

I am so glad things are going well for you!

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 2:27pm

Thanks Dragon - I'm happy to pop in here from time to time. For the next month while getting settled into my new job and while DD15 is here, I'm just not anticipating having much time. I just wanted to stop by and say "hey, I'm not dead, I'm still here"!

SMof2Girls's picture

Submitted by SMof2Girls on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 2:29pm

Awesome! This is great news Smile So glad you're having a great summer with your DD Biggrin

Best wishes for continued success at the new job!

princessmofo's picture

Submitted by princessmofo on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 2:53pm

I used too! Then it became an open invitation to stalk me by horseface bitch devil cunt and her army of flying monkeys so I suspended my account.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 2:52pm

Thanks Keekee! I miss everyone here but frankly, I barely have time to do much of anything at work or at home. I think over the next month, things will settle down some and I'll be back more often.

Hope you're doing well!

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 4:30pm

I'm glad things are going well for you Smile

I think time does a lot of things. I still disagree with you on some things about sd. That said, I do think she should've told the therapist the truth about how she was feeling. I think she should reach out and talk to her dad, and tell him how unhappy she is, and how she was happy with how things were before. I think that would get A LOT of sadness and anger off her shoulders, and her and dh the chance to really hash things out and come up with a better game plan. How does dh feel to know his dd is so unhappy, while he's doing great? I have long wondered what it's like for a parent to be happy in their lives, when their kid is miserable in theirs. I wish the adults had been better at figuring out what her issues were and are, dh and therapist included. But I think if she'd been honest, she'd be doing much better today and she does have to accept some degree of responsibility for this.

I just hope that the time away helps clear her head so she can reach out to him in a healthier way. And I hope that when she reaches out to him, he will take his share of the blame, apologize and be willing to sit down with her, help her and hash a lot of past and present $hit out.

And I hope time away will help you feel better about her. I know she's done and said bad things but I think hating someone/not making some sort of peace about them is just as unhealthy as the way sd is behaving.

I do think her parents f@cked her up. BIG TIME. But I hope she realizes that she can reach out for help, and create a better future for herself, and get peace.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 4:47pm

Anon,

You know I respect you, always have. With that being said, what gives you the impression that stepdevil14 is so miserable? From everything we hear from her teachers, DH's family (who still maintain a relationship with her) and her friends (we bump into from time to time on FB or out shopping since we all live in the same town), she's doing GREAT and is really happy!

I guess she's so happy because dear mommy gives her everything she wants and she doesn't have rules to follow or punishment when she does wrong??? Make sense? A teenager given freedom to do as she pleases at mom's versus having to actually have chores (albeit MINOR) and consequences for her actions at dad's?? Mom still allows her to have control and tell her what to do, whereas dad has taken control back of his life, DEMOTING her back to her KID status. Where do you think she'd be happier?

Apparently, mom has her back in counseling and she's doing wonderfully according to DH's dad. Her grades are great and she's preparing to enter high school this year. Four more years and we're DONE paying for her. YAY!

Anyhow, she'll be turning 15 next month and DH has already mentioned sending her a birthday card to let her know he still loves and thinks about and misses her. He even texted her today and got a short response (when he hasn't heard from her since her mother emailed regarding a passport for her to go to Mexico). So, he still reaches out. He still shows an effort. He will always do that for her.

He's apologized for his part in things and has told her over and over again he is leaving it up to her to contact him and make things right. He's given her time and space, he's forced the issue, he's sought counseling, now he just sits and waits and contacts her from time to time letting her know that he's thinking of her. I honestly don't think there's much else he can really do in this situation, do you?

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 4:56pm

No, I don't.

What I'm saying is, when she reaches out, she may need to hear an apology one more time.

I am very glad she is happy. I sort of got the impression she wasn't because of past behavior of hers via text and other ways that you e written about.

When I said what I did about therapy, I meant things would be much better between her and her dad if she'd simply told the truth about what was going on. They wouldn't be at this impasse today.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 5:07pm

Anon, DH is done groveling at this child's feet. He's said his piece and has moved on. She KNOWS his stance on things and chooses to be a bitch even now. So yeah, he's at the impasse he is because she's not willing to budge. He's done bending over backwards. Relationships are two way streets, not a highway and a parking lot. If she's unwilling to move, he can't push her.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 5:08pm

Thanks Rising - you are 100% correct. DH is a loving, caring parent who wants what is BEST for his child, not what SHE wants to have. She's always been a spoiled brat who was put in control and once knocked off her pedestal acted out. He's done babying her, groveling at her feet and begging for her attn and affection.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 5:10pm

Thanks SweetNutz (LOVE that handle by the way - PM me and inform me of who you are!)

Yes, their relationship isn't healthy, normal or what DH would like it to be. But he's done all he can and the rest is up to her.

RedWingsFan's picture

Submitted by RedWingsFan on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 5:22pm

Mahalo Smile

oldone's picture

Submitted by oldone on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 5:01pm

Missed you but figured you were having a great summer with your daughter.

Who cares about the ugly SD? Forget that she ever existed. Many men have a wayward sperm that created trash.

Onefootout's picture

Submitted by Onefootout on Tue, 07/23/2013 - 5:15pm

Leave it to you oldone, you keep it short, sweet and cut through the crap. Pretty funny!