we broke up...
and he blames me! imagine that! Thats ok...
Im 20 & still have my whole life in front of me!

Thank you to all of you that helped me!
and Good Luck to all of you!

I am just so sad and I don't think I can keep trying to make this work. I'm tired. So very tired. I didn't want to believe that I could hate a child. I convinced myself that my problem was how H parented his kid. It was guilty daddy parenting and made things worse but I have discovered that it wasn't the cause of my feelings. This child is a walking talking reminder of all the times my feelings and needs were ignored in favor of keeping BM happy. When H left her he forgot to pack his balls and I paid the price. So many incidents that I can't let go of.

well... i finally told SO that when SD4 is there I dont feel like a "family" I feel as tho Im the 3rd wheel. He dont make her listen most of the time and he bitched about sittin at the table like a family... but then gets mad at me if i wanna go see a friend for a few hours bc he thought we would all spend time together.. like a "family". I think we have 2 different meanings of the word "family"

I've learned a lot today. I called my sister and told I'm sorry for leaving her to take care of 5 children that aren't even hers and I thanked her for being good to them and asked her if it is at possible that she and I can try to have at least a semblance of a relationship again and she told me she's willing if I am... so there's one down and it's thanks to good advice from here soooooo, onto my next challenge.

I'd just like to know at what age is it safe or okay to ditch the baby monitor? I SS is almost 3 he can climb in and out of bed safely and can turn his own bedroom light on etc.. my guy keeps the monitor on full blast and still rarely hears him when he wakes up as it is. I'm the one who hears him with or without the monitor on.

I have decided to just back off from helping or getting.involved with my sd10. I get to emotionally involved in trying to raise her "the right way" for example making her do her choirs, brushing her teeth, showering, being kind to others, going to church, etc. I am tired of trying to make her the best she could be especially when I don't get the support from dh or bm. So a couple weeks ago I told myself I was done and told dh.he had to be responsible for her. I don't tell her to do anything anymore, I don't take her to church...I told dh if he wants her to go he has to bring her.

A little backstory, I am in the reserves and I have been away from home for the last three weeks. I went grocery shoppng on Thurs and Friday enough to cover my BD12, BS10, DH and myself. Skids were aware that I would be gone(skids SD21, SS19, SD15. They did not visit DH one time while I was away, but tonight SD 21 suddenly wants to come see her Daddy....

Ok so this weekend was my Dh's weekend and we agreed in letting my Skids go with their Bm today for Skids cousin's b-day party (Bm's side). So Bm picks them up at 12:00pm, by one Bm is calling to say that she is dropping SS6 off because he didn't want to go, my Dh and i wait and never get a call back or SS walk through our door, so i called Bm and she says he is going to the party after all. }:)
Thanks for calling to let us know B*t&h! I hated the fact of letting my Skids go but they really wanted to go for their cousin's party, so i didn't stop them from going.

I'm new to this site and have read some of the blogs here and all I can say is I am SO happy that I have hopefully found somewhere I can vent and maybe even start to work through some of the issues that I am constantly trying to deal with. I have to try to deal with my BC coming to me and telling me all the horrible things that their SM (my own sister) says about me to them. It also irritates me that my EH leaves all the decision making up to her. She runs around calling children that are mine, HERS.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

sorry guys, just needed to yell a bit!!

Idk what to do! and so many people are telling me to get out! but a lot are telling me we can make it through this!