I am a 43 year old mother of 2 and I have two adult step children. One is 25 and supports herself. The other is 20 and has never supported himself. He has a criminal rap sheet since he was a juvenile. He lived with my husband and me from the age of 5 until he was around 12. His mother was mostly absent. But, at the age of 12, he decided that he didn't like "rules" anymore and went to live with his mother. He stayed in trouble with the law. Did poorly in school. He was in and out of boarding schools.

Well it is my first day as a member of this site and I have to say reading the forums has been really comforting already. I don't think there is enough understanding or support out there for step-parents so this is a wonderful thing. I hope one day I will be able to be someone who can help other instead of the one in need but right now I am still trying to wrap my head around my new situation. I knew what I was getting into when I married my DH but I guess I didnt realize all the tiny day to day decisions we take for granted when we are only deciding for ourselves.

All,

Below is an e-mail that I got from my wife in response to an e-mail I sent to her yesterday. Not neccessarily a hugely on topic communication but it does have elements of marriage, daily life and dealing with our son (my SS).

It made me smile.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Best regards,

(Rags),

A little backround on my life before DH and stepparenting.

My husband killed himself on 9.23.2010. He drank for the first time in a very long time and he was never the same person when he drank. He didn't like himself and he didn't like how is drinking affected his family. He killed himself and he took my life with him.

He left a note. Most of it was drunken ramblings. The things that did make sense, were his failures...

We went up to see the skids this weekend, and my sister and 9 month old nephew are in from England, so all of us hung out. It was fun, my family enjoyed the skids.

Well, in the first place, in response to my last blog, we are still together. We went to the counselor and I told him that I would not be tossed away and still used as a nanny when I knew he would be knocking at my bedroom door in a month. We agreed to make a more detailed list of who does what in the house. I told him that I would try not to say nasty things about his kids to him, but to instead come to him calmly about my concerns. Doing this has changed things. He may not try to change things, but he does listen, when I am calm. It is NOT easy for me. I would rather yell and scream.

I blogged last week about DH's kid (D/15 y/o) telling him she a head injury that required an ER visit last week. Between his kid and Uberskank, the story was so bizarre and full of holes that it left him feeling like they were trying to pull another stunt on him. When she tried to convince him she was well enough to travel to our house and see him, he backed up Uberskank and said he would be more comfortable if she didn't travel and rested at home over the weekend.

Well I sure can tell DH has been venting to SD. Last night he was SNORING LOUD so I asked him to roll over and he said "It's about time for you to get off this gravy train."

OMG I WAS SO MAD! This sounds just like something she would say.

Before that, I had told DH to make a list of what he needed for this big shindig we have to have for the sGKs. I thought a Halloween theme would be cute but he snapped, "It's supposed to be for their BIRTHDAY."

:)I ve been dating my bf of two years.He has a 9old son and a 10 year old daughter.I myself have a 7 year old son.Together we jst recently had a baby girl.6months ago.