Ok so a few nights ago i posted how i simply made a comment about girls randomly texting and callin EX-SO... and he jumped down my throat sayin that just bc he talks to a girl dont mean they are fucking!

I ordered some chicken thing that was cooked in some Chinese style that I can not even come close to pronouncing.

When it arrived at my table it was on a giant plate and was a huge mound of chopped red dry Asian peppers mixed with a little sautéed green onion, a small amount of "chicken" that was cut complete with little bones and some seasoning that looked like little hand grenade shaped seed pods that tasted a little like licorice. The meat was pan fried without batter.

It had a hot, tingly flavor on my tongue and made my mouth and face numb.

So on Sunday BF & I took the kids to the park next to our house, like around 3:00pm BM's mother picks them up(like always BM's parents do her part}. Yesturday SD10 tells me her Nana(BM's mom} told SD & SS6, "Why did you hug & kiss the three cows?" (meaning my BF, his older sister & myself) That stupid old hag!!!

I am a 43 year old mother of 2 and I have two adult step children. One is 25 and supports herself. The other is 20 and has never supported himself. He has a criminal rap sheet since he was a juvenile. He lived with my husband and me from the age of 5 until he was around 12. His mother was mostly absent. But, at the age of 12, he decided that he didn't like "rules" anymore and went to live with his mother. He stayed in trouble with the law. Did poorly in school. He was in and out of boarding schools.

Well it is my first day as a member of this site and I have to say reading the forums has been really comforting already. I don't think there is enough understanding or support out there for step-parents so this is a wonderful thing. I hope one day I will be able to be someone who can help other instead of the one in need but right now I am still trying to wrap my head around my new situation. I knew what I was getting into when I married my DH but I guess I didnt realize all the tiny day to day decisions we take for granted when we are only deciding for ourselves.

All,

Below is an e-mail that I got from my wife in response to an e-mail I sent to her yesterday. Not neccessarily a hugely on topic communication but it does have elements of marriage, daily life and dealing with our son (my SS).

It made me smile.

I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

Best regards,

(Rags),

A little backround on my life before DH and stepparenting.

My husband killed himself on 9.23.2010. He drank for the first time in a very long time and he was never the same person when he drank. He didn't like himself and he didn't like how is drinking affected his family. He killed himself and he took my life with him.

He left a note. Most of it was drunken ramblings. The things that did make sense, were his failures...

We went up to see the skids this weekend, and my sister and 9 month old nephew are in from England, so all of us hung out. It was fun, my family enjoyed the skids.

Well, in the first place, in response to my last blog, we are still together. We went to the counselor and I told him that I would not be tossed away and still used as a nanny when I knew he would be knocking at my bedroom door in a month. We agreed to make a more detailed list of who does what in the house. I told him that I would try not to say nasty things about his kids to him, but to instead come to him calmly about my concerns. Doing this has changed things. He may not try to change things, but he does listen, when I am calm. It is NOT easy for me. I would rather yell and scream.