Friends, I’m noticing a troubling pattern in my relationships and would really appreciate some thoughts.

I tend to evaluate myself first when things go wrong, asking for feedback and considering if I need to course-correct. However, when I see the same issues arising repeatedly, I worry that I’m missing something bigger—like not seeing the “forest through the trees.”

How did your steps turn out as adults?

I know this question has been asked before, and I know I can gather a lot just from reading various entries on here.  But I'm curious about situations in particular where you became a stepparent when kids were young (before teenage years) and shared 50/50 with a bio parent you didn't/don't exactly get along with or have a 'happy /open co parenting relationship' with.

So, today DH found out BM and her parents have been paying SS for grades. She pays him for As and Bs, then they double it. DH says his parents paid him for grades and said maybe we should be doing that and also paying him for any chores. (Chores consist of putting his laundry away and rinsing off dinner dishes. That's it.)

My oldest 3 children are 36f, 34m, 32f. I don't post much of anything here because this gaping maw of pain in my memories just sucks my soul from me when I sit and acknowledge it. I carry a massive burden of shame, guilt, remorse. I wasn't a better mom than mine was. I did different things, tried to be wise and patient and kind. Intention doesn't mean diddly in hindsight.

I have had the unfortunate experience of getting a lot of exposure to OSD28 this week. She doesn't ask permission or engage in a dialog but rather makes announcements, demands and assumptions, assumptions which are frequently completely wrong.

She treats DH and I as peers and seems to have no understanding of authority or her role in the family or her role in life in general. She bulldozes her way through life like a bull in a china shop. She has a hyper chicken with her head cut off energy, especially when she is agitated, which is often.

He drove several hours and rented an Airbnb to see the skids. He said this was his last visit. These visits, ranging from 2 - 4 times a year, cost him over $1000 a pop, even more when he flies. 

He called me last night with the usual skid-visit distraught-sounding voice, maybe a little worse this time. He really enjoyed seeing the grands and getting to know them better (he had never met the youngest). SD invited him back to her house Saturday afternoon to hang out for several hours and have dinner, and he had been looking forward to that. SS was going to be there, too. 

Newbie here. I don't know all the verbiage or acronyms you guys use, but it's nice to know I'm not alone.

While my husband and I were dating, my stepson and I got along well. I felt connected to him and believed that I could be a positive influence in his life. I can’t have kids, so I was really excited to be a stepmom. My husband tried to warn me that my stepson had some undesirable personality traits, things that he and his ex tried and failed to redirect, but I was optimistic. Since we got married, though, my stepson has changed.

Tis almost the season and in our parts, tis the beginning of cuffing season. Cuffing season not in relation to getting arrested, but rather that thing people do during the winter time - coupling up so you have someone to keep you warm on the darl cold nights, someone to bring to thanksgiving dinners, someone to share the holidays with and then MAYBE into the whole new years eve thing. Then after all that you might just want to be single again (lol). Explore those options once the weather brightens and lightens.

Now that we are approaching the holiday of gift giving how do you handle things?

Last weekend we went to a friend’s house to hang out. This is someone I met at work a few years ago who is married and has children with spouse and they both have children from first marriages.