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17 yr old might be going to a psych ward

Tiger7's picture

Last night I was shopping for SO's birthday gift before picking him up from work when I got a 911 text from BM. It said daughter trying to kill herself & hospital is trying to discharge her. 2nd text in all caps said please I need y'all here with me. I picked SO up and we headed to hospital. I am concerned with this kid and want her to be ok. Have to admit tho - on the way to the hospital, I was thinking about the text and how she now needs us when she won't co-parent with SO unless it benefits her; she won't give him info on his kids, etc. Anyway, we get there and find out the daughter had left the home for awhile again - don't know how long. Her boyfriend's parents had gone out of town, so she stayed there. BM & SO think she's trying to get pregnant on purpose. Sometime after that, the boyfriend dumps her; BM says boyfriend treats her like crap anyway. Daughter wants stuff back from boyfriend, he says no...more drama ensues. BM says she thought about having someone "get" the boyfriend. Daughter tells mom, sister, etc she wants to kill herself and takes too much of one of her meds. BM takes her to adolescent psych ward where she was last summer. She tries to hurt herself while there (or said she was going to - don't know which) so they send her to children's wing of same hospital where she had been for past 2 days when BM finally called us. We knew none of this by the way. Staff tells us that after being evaluated, they were releasing daughter and wants on her on out patient treatment. They also said they were calling CPS on BM (that's what she told us). BM keeps telling them daughter is threatening to kill herself. Head psych wasn't at hospital last night...a different doc said that these threats were new to them. She spoke with daughter alone and then told us they were keeping her overnight. We all went into daughters room to discuss, but daughter said she didn't want her dad in the room. BM told her that her choice was him or me and she chose me but I said no...your dad is staying and I left the room. There were other revelations BM told us that again, SO has no knowledge of. Daughter stopped taking some of her meds; took too many of one of the meds which led to her going to the hospital in the first place. She also didn't take her SATs and most likely will not graduate high school next year. Daughter doesn't want to go home but says its not because of the mom. She wants to go back to the teen psych ward (where it was like an overnight camp). I told SO separately that his daughter better watch what she's asking for cause she'll be 18 in one month and an adult psych ward is WAY different than an adolescent one. As of today, the docs are looking to place her somewhere. Turning into a nightmare.

Comments

stepmomof1biomomof1's picture

This is terrible. Maybe they need to push for the adult ward so she can see how serious it is. Do you think she is doing it for attention or is really depressed?

Tiger7's picture

I do take threats of suicide seriously...my own daughter battled depression years ago. But, this kid here....I think its for attention. I really do and I hope I'm right cause I don't want her to harm herself. We can deal with this issue of attention seeking better than if she harms herself

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I've lost clients because of cries for attention.

We had a teen who had just left our long term unit. She asked her parents to take her back. They said no so she downed grandma's meds. The exact combo she took killed her. They don't believe she meant it to work just took what she could.

I've had a patient not want to leave us. Have no "real" reason to stay walk right out our doors up a 3 floor parking deck and swan dive.

My point is cries for attention can be just as dangerous if they are willing to go through with it.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

You can not legally have a minor on an adult unit.

Nor can you have an adult on a minor unit.

Where I use to work if a "kid" turned 18 while in the hospital they would move them from the adolescent/ teen unit to the adult unit at 6 AM on their birthday.

As for.putting a teen on a kids unit? That's asking for legal backlash too if it's against your units admission rules and anyone gets hurt.

momjeans's picture

From a professional standpoint, I’m going to tell you straight-up, Tiger7, that you better buckle up for a wild ride, if you continue to involve yourself with this situation.

Does she have a history of mental health issues? Is she emotionally struggling? Because there is a difference, and one of these definitely does not involve inpatient treatment.

I feel for her, but I also feel for everyone else involved. It would be wise to take a step back and insist that her bio parents navigate this with her, for however long they still have the chance to, because once she turns 18, it’s a whole new ballgame.

Tiger7's picture

I do think there are mental issues. I have a degree in psychology although I don't practice. BM is definitely a sociopath - in the true meaning of the word. Her daughter is just like her....has learned to hustle people to get her way, including her own father (my SO) and blames everyone else for her problems. I'm hanging in there cause I love this man. At the hospital last night, while talking a mile a minute, BM said her daughter was schizophrenic and bi-polar. I asked SO later if knew of any of these diagnoses and he said no. I don't know what's true in this situation cause the BM is such a whack job herself. This summer, he filed and won a modified court order to gain joint custody. At the end of the trial, BM said to the judge that she agrees to joint custody except for medical issues. She wanted to be the sole parent to make any and all medical decisions. Thankfully the judge told her "that's not how this works". SO needs to step up and get more involved with their medical info and care. He's trying but both BM and the 17 yr old block him at every turn plus she'll be 18 in a month so.............She may have to learn the hard way and get put in an adult facility. Bet she straightens up then.

Tiger7's picture

Momjeans...also, she feels abandoned by her dad. He left her mom when she was very young. He had a son with another woman and when that woman left the state to move across country, he decided to go too so his son would know him. He kept in touch with daughters but wasn't physically here. Knowing the BM of the daughters and from what his sisters have told me, she bad mouthed him to the girls from the time he left to this day. So yes,, the 17 yr old is struggling emotionally and blames him for everything. By the same token, there have been many times that I've witnessed her having a great relationship with her dad.

I love dogs's picture

I don't see BM being any less dramatic or stop involving dad or OP when SD turns 18. I hope everything turns out ok though.