Good Read
I read this several days ago and just posted it in a comment on one of my blogs but I thought other's might want to read it as well. It is a bit long but it seems to accurately describe a lot of the crazy BM's I read about here. I would really love to send it to the BM in my life but I'm sure she wouldn't agree with it anyways because she has TWO degrees and knows everything! LOL!
http://reason.com/archives/2017/10/26/the-fragile-generation
- Simpleton21's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
I have so many issues with
I have so many issues with this article, I could not finish it. I will just say that I see little productive output in manipulating people to feel generational differences and blaming entire swathes of the population based on their age for things that are not unique to that age group. It is much better to try to understand someone else’s point of view and where they are coming from.
I dunno.... after I got past
I dunno.... after I got past the first portion of the article, I think it really made perfect sense when you look at the attitudes of both the kids and the parents...
Many kids today are lazy tv watching kids with no life skills... oh, but they're "safe". In turn, many parents today are perfectly happy with their kids staying indoors and being lazy, because "they're safe".
They'll also be some of the first ones to die off in the event of a serious catastrophic event... can't make a fire to stay warm, can't survive off roots and berries... sure, times have changed and there's "no need" for that knowledge - but that's so totally off base... Just look at the events that happen, stores run out of bottled water, gas... what then? They don't have the skills to dig a hold and filter ground water... they don't have the skills to build a shelter in the middle of nowhere because there's no more gas in the vehicle...
I "get it" - I understand wanting to shelter your kids from all dangers... but at the same time... it's not acceptable to JUST shelter them from the danger, without teaching them how to AVOID the danger...
Seriously, if my reason for not leaving my kids at home during an errand was the fear they might insult each other and have hurt feelings, I'd hang myself for being such a crappy parent to have allowed my child to have that much of an exaggerated self of importance. How are they supposed to be able to cope with conflict if they're never exposed to it? Whatever will they do in the big bad world of business when their boss shoots down one of their brilliant ideas? Call their mom so mom can chastise the boss?
UGH.
I know what I just wrote is just as much an exaggeration of events... it's completely on the other side of the argument... but it's not outside the realms of possibilities to think that someday (relatively soon), the comfortable easy drive to the store for whatever you want lifestyle will come to an end.
I just live and let live... while my kids could survive a week or two in the woods if they needed to, I won't judge those who wouldn't last the weekend.
Secret, thanks for actually
Secret, thanks for actually taking the time to read the whole article before deciding that it was so off base and complaining that you spent a whole 5 minutes reading it. I personally think it discussed some big issues with this generation of parenting which in turn leads to children failing to launch and failing to have very useful skills they need when they grow up. This generation is definitely into coddling and helicopter parenting. That isn't my parenting style but I guess some think it is best....
This generation, as compared
This generation, as compared to the last, is definitely into coddling and helicopter parenting. Which, I suppose, aren't the worst ways to parent... except that the results speak for themselves.
A 6 year old can't write their name, because hey, let kids be kids... never mind that a 6 year old in many other parts of the world is pretty much self-sufficient....they can even, Gasp... cut their own food!
A 12 year old can't tie their own shoes or wipe their own butt.
A 16 year old can't get a job, because they were never taught proper social skills. Their parents did all the guiding in conversations with peers...
A 21 year old just can't cope with being on their own, because they're unmotivated... aww, princess. Guess mom & dad should have motivated you when you were younger instead of sheltering you from all the big bad dangers in the world.
Coddle away... I won't be the one with a cling-on, draining away my life savings.
Secret - exactly! I don't
Secret - exactly! I don't know how anyone got anything other than that from the article! Safe places at colleges for those that get their feelings hurt by something someone said...
BethAnne - Well maybe if you
BethAnne - Well maybe if you finished it I would be more interested in your opinion on the article. I didn't see the article as being manipulative in any way. I do feel that it is unique to the way a majority of this generation is being raised. We are all entitled to our opinion. If you want to be an overprotective/helicopter parent and have a "safe" kid that lives at home forever that is fine by me. I do not want that for my children though. Did you understand the writer's point of view?!? I'm not understanding what point of view/perspective I'm missing here?
You are not interested in my
You are not interested in my opinion but you are asking my opinion?
I said I would be more
I said I would be more interested in your opinion if you had read the entire article. Based on your comment I'm not sure you read my entire response...not really the same thing you just stated but obviously we view things differently and interpret things differently! I asked you if you considered the writer's perspective since you made a point of mentioning perspective but since you didn't read the entire article I would assume at this point you didn't. I really don't care if you don't want to read the article entirely or agree with any of it. I found the article interesting enough to share. If you don't like it and didn't read it I don't understand why you continue commenting when you didn't even take your own advice.
"It is much better to try to understand someone else’s point of view and where they are coming from."
5 minutes of my life that I
5 minutes of my life that I can never get back *eyeroll*
Are you sure you read the same article OP? Your comment makes little sense when compared to the article.
you don't think many of our
you don't think many of our BM's will over-coddle the kids to a useless status?
So sorry you spent all of 5
So sorry you spent all of 5 minutes reading an article you don't interpret the same as me obviously! Are you sure you read the entire article?!?! I think my comment makes perfect sense when compared to the article and the BM in my life's parenting style. Coddling/helicopter parenting style, not allowing your child to do anything for themselves because of "safety"....
For me, it's more about the
For me, it's more about the last paragraph about resilience than it is about safety. I do think there is some safety paranoia in today's society, but I grew up with parents who were also safety paranoid (and still are, even though I'm an adult). The bigger problem I have with the way BM treats SSs is that she tries to shield them from any sort of hardship, so one has a meltdown (at age 11, almost 12) whenever things don't go his way. Not only does she try to shield him, but she also reinforces for him that his meltdown is the right response, telling him that he is justified in feeling the way he does, and that people are in fact, out to get him and out to make him look bad. It drives me crazy. He has zero resilience and his brother isn't much better. For example, when something goes wrong on the sports field, they both lose it and then will say to DH "Dad, why are you mad at me? Why do you think that was a bad play / shot / run, etc?" even when DH hasn't said anything to them. It's as though they can't deal with a setback and have to push it out externally that someone is telling them to feel bad, instead of realizing that themselves feel bad or embarrassed.
I do agree with what you are
I do agree with what you are saying. Of course are always going to be safety issues and with technology there are safety issues that we didn't deal with as children (at least me cause I'm old, lol). My mom was very overbearing and protective. I am also protective of my children but I think it is ridiculous to remove swing sets from schools because they are dangerous or don't have wood chips under them or not let a 16 year old use an ax to build a fort. You can't shield children from every possible danger. I feel like it is better to teach your children how to handle the hurdles that they encounter. Not jump the hurdles for them. The BM in my life does exactly what you are talking about with my SD. My SD had a meltdown at cheer practice b/c she had to face the coach that didn't put her on the competitive team. BM's response was to call SO and have them both coddle her and talk gently to her about it and tell her that she is great and should have made the team...IMO she should have pulled her aside during the meltdown and let her know that she is reinforcing the coach's decision with her behavior and if she really wanted to make the team then she should practice tightening up her movements like the coaches advised. Instead SD was made to believe that she should have made the team and the coaches were just mean and lied to her! No accountability on her part. Just like with your SSs. I have a son the same age and he is def not perfect and struggles with accountability also but I don't let him blame everyone else.