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They figure it out when forced to!

Paintcrisis's picture

I always used to laugh by the advice to disengage because ‘what would they do if you weren’t around’? They DO figure it out!

STBXH has his kids this weekend and, surprise, surprise (!): he had to parent himself! He actually took his kids with him to his job sites on Saturday since he decided he wanted to work. He also had to stay home on sunday instead of doing his own thing like he always does. I guess I DID provide some usefulness to him because now he has to be a real parent instead of a dumping parent.

It’s laughable. H is parenting because he is forced to. I’m also assuming he isn’t as angry anymore because he doesn’t have to see me disengage. It was one of the biggest issues of our marriage and his anger.

I was able to go to work on Saturday and did not have to worry I would receive a call from my kids locked in their room with the toddler because H was so angry that he scared them into hiding. It’s very freeing.

The house front is depressing though. Our buyers backed out on Friday. Then on Sunday, they texted their realtor and said they were back on again. But no word now. I’m leaving dead mice in secret places around the house if they go through with it.

I’m taking this as a sign I might have to move back. I think I can break my new lease and only be penalized 2 months. It will be tight for a while but worth it, as I am so sad to leave my house.

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Paintcrisis's picture

Yes, he moved out before me.

I’m thinking I could make it work with a full time job, heating assistance, possibly a vetted professional roommate, etc. . .

I didn’t consider those options when I decided I couldn’t keep the house on my own.