Yucky family situation that I could use advice
Where do I even start with explaining this mess?
Ok, I am very close to my mom, age 67. But I cannot stand my sister, her husband, and even my own nephew. My nephew is being raised to be very entitled, rude, and plain mean. He’s 13 now, but he’s been a jerk since age 8. He’s the golden child. Because of those 3, my Dad abd Stepmom Have disengaged from all of us. My sisters family is very uncomfortable for anyone to be around and it’s torn apart my family. Dad and stepmom won’t talk to me because they don’t want to play favorites. They know I’m ok and that I can call if I need them, but they want nothing to do with the insanity my sisters family brings and now we have no family get togethers, etc. I can’t even begin to tell you all the things that my sister and her family have said or done to hurt us.
My mom? She tries to act like everything is fine and she enables my sister and her family. They completely use her and she lets them. I’m talking big money, windows, new furniture, etc. She’ll then recognize she was conned and she’ll vow to never let it happen again. But a couple months later, it happens again. Wash rinse repeat. Her retirement is 40k/year. Their combined income is 85-90k.
Now to MY dilemma. I’m moving several hours away from all of them and had a realtor give me the numbers on selling my place. If I get the asking price and do not come down in price much, I’l break even after realtor fees are paid. My place will likely sell within a week and I probably won’t need to come down in price. My mom (67) announced tonight that she’d like to buy my place and sell her place. She would not give me the full asking price, but slightly lower since I won’t have realtor fees. I’ll come out slightly ahead than just breaking even. I asked her why she wants to buy it. She said she likes that my condo is on the main floor, no stairs or steps anywhere, and that it will be easier on her knees which ache her, how it’s maintenance free and in excellent condition. She owes on her house the amount I’d sell her my place for, but her house needs a lot of work done that she cannot afford.
I want to help my mom because I know her knees hurt. But I also know she will be able to save a lot more money if she buys my place because it’s in excellent condition and utilities itself are much lower too. But she’s going to give her extra money to my sister for my nephews braces or WHATEVER. I told my mom my concerns and reservations to helping her only to have her help my sister. And she said “well I can do whatever I want with my money, you’ll come out slightly ahead, I won’t have stairs, and if I want to help my only grandchild have a better life, I will, it’s my money”
I want to help, but then again, I don’t. I’d like to move away and do my own thing much like my SM and dad have done. But I’ll feel guilty about the knees/stairs thing if I don’t help.