You are here

**OT**UGH... I HATE going to DH's work functions

BSgoinon's picture

Tomorrow we have a dinner for my husband's boss' wife. It's her birthday. My husbands boss is the owner of his company. DH is 2nd man on the totem pole, so to speak. Only 3 people from the company were invited to this party, it's at their home. We have been there many times before.

This time is a little different. It is smaller and more intimate. And... over the past year, a few of the girls (the owners daughter included) in his office have developed serious OFFICE DRAMA, and I happen to be the center of their conversation. Long story, but they hired a (former) friend of mine. Not at my request nor at my recommendation. I have worked with this girl for 4 years and she is NOT the best employee. She is a gossip, a pot stirrer and very immature. In short, the owners daughter (also the Director of my "friends" department) is BFF's with one of the employees there. This employee and my "friend"... don't get along. After a year of petty crap, this employee finds some pretty scathing accusations about her online (some stupid website). The accusations where such that it made it sounds like I wrote it, accusing her of having an inappropriate relationship with my DH. This is the same girl that sent her new boobs pics to married men in my office (not my DH). No where in this post did it say my DH by name, nor did it have MY name, but the way it was worded made it sound like me. IT WAS NOT ME. I have never THOUGHT that my DH was cheating on me, I have never accused him of it and I certainly didn't think he was having a NON work relationship of any kind with little miss new boobs.

For a while they were all SURE it was me that wrote it. I got a text from this girl (group with DH) telling me to take it down, that she was going to sue me and basically spoke to me like a child. My DH responded and told her to step off, that she is crossing lines of professionalism and that his wife (me) would never do such a thing, she is "not 12 years old". She is a wife, a mom and a good friend and person. I responded saying I was sorry that this happened to her and I wished I could help her in removing it from the internet world, but I don't know who did it, and am equally as mad because it made my husband sounds like a cheating scumbag, which he is not. I never heard from her again.

Long LONG story, short(er). My "friend" posted it. It included this girls FULL NAME and PICTURE. :jawdrop: She was fired. And is now fighting for unemployment. Even appealed the denial. DH had to go to EDD trial last week for it.

In speaking with DH over the past week, he tells me that the girls there are over it. And they KNOW for a fact that I didn't do that stupid crap, and that I am no longer friends with that person. But still... I am SURE that this girl is one of the FEW invited to this dinner party. It is going to be AWKWARD.

And... I have no idea what to bring boss' wife.

I hate this crap.

Comments

wicked_by_proxy's picture

Roll on in there with your head high and a bottle of wine...you are way above that drama and it's just not part of your world Smile

hereiam's picture

She's the one who should feel awkward for coming at you like she did, instead of just asking you if you knew anything about it. You know, like an adult would.

Just have a good time and be the classy woman that you are.

WalkOnBy's picture

When you say "this girl" are you referring to yourself???

If she was fired, why would she be at the party?

Too many pronouns for me today - are you saying she posted the text conversation between you, your husband and her? or did she post something else and where did she post it?

I'm confused... :?

BSgoinon's picture

My "friend" posted an outpour of LIES about little miss new boobs having a relationship with my husband, making it sound as though I was the one posting it. i.e. "I caught my husband with this girl in our truck.. blah blah blah"... Because her FULL NAME and picture was also posted, someone found her and told her that it was posted on this weird website. She immediately assumed it was me that posted it, well... because it is written to sound like I did. Good friend huh? When I confronted "friend" about it, she denied and then disappeared. Haven't heard from her since. She blocked me on everything, including Pinterest LOL. I was FUMING.

My concern is, the bosses daughter (who works there too) is little miss new boobs, best friend. When all of this happened, they both blocked me on instagram and new boobs sent me a barrage of accusatory texts. She WILL be at the party. I am certain of it. It's just going to be awkward. They know I didn't do it, now. But we haven't spoken since.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Be polite. A bottle of wine is nice. If you're unsure what she prefers, try a rosé or moscato.

hereiam's picture

The owner's daughter is friends with the employee (who still works there), who was trash talked online by BSgoinon's ex friend (who was fired).

The employee, who accused BSgoinon of posting the trash talk, will most likely be at the party. I think that the employee is the one who should feel awkward around BSgoinon, after accusing her of something she didn't do.

Rags's picture

Dress to the 9's, be radiant, be confident, and you and DH enjoy being on each other's arms.

Rightly or wrongly a spouse can be a big part of career success in some professional roles. My wife and I trade off on who is the arm candy and who is the primary for or respective professional socializing commitments.

Finding out what kind of whine the boss's wife tends to like and finding an unusual variant to provide her as a gift is never a bad idea when arriving for a politically loaded professional career oriented social engagement.

My bride is from Oregon and we tend to gift wines from her home region at social events. We also enjoyed the wines we discovered while we lived in Morocco and when we can find them those make interesting gift bottles. Make it personal with some tie to what you enjoy.

That makes for good discussion fodder during what can easily be a drudgery of an event.

BSgoinon's picture

The issue with wine is... they are experts. I would have to order something really nice that would take too long to get here. I love my husband and his 24 hour notice that he gives me.

I love everything that you said Rags. And I plan to do exactly that.

Thank you.

BSgoinon's picture

I was just informed it is her RETIREMENT party. Glad I asked the ONE wife that I do talk to there. She was a nurse for 30 plus years. I am thinking of getting a nice crystal vase engraved and putting some beautiful flowers in it.

I know the story is confusing. Short of using names, I couldn't easily get what was in my head, to flow off my fingers.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Love the idea of the vase. I was going to suggest flowers - putting them in a personalized vase will make a unique gift.

As to the other - remember you are a woman and they are girls. You have been doing this way longer than they have and are way better at it. Dress in something that makes you look fabulous and feel comfortable. Ask DH to pay you a little extra attention if you feel like you need it. You will do fine.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

The vase is a lovely idea. Atypical flowers would be nice. Can you get your hands on some calla lilies, for example?

Being a professional, mature lady, I am certain you will shine. Smile, greet little miss big boobs and whoever else, and be polite. Just as you would be to a stranger at work. Good luck!!

BSgoinon's picture

Thank you. I need to drop by the florist on my way home. But Atypical for sure. I ordered the vase last night and am picking it up this afternoon.

I had Proverbs 31:25- "Clothed with strength and dignity, she smiles at the future" engraved on one side and her name and Happy Retirement with the RN emblem on the other. They are a very God Fearing family, I think she will like it.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Perfect!

BSgoinon's picture

I think some of the technology is interesting, but... I don't have the time or the energy to learn every detail, so I never feel like I can purchase something worthy of their taste buds.I do appreciate their love for wine, because I get a REALLY nice bottle from them for Christmas every years Blum 3