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BM is Missing

BSgoinon's picture

Which is no surprise really, but she did steal her dads truck. 


After being evicted from the RV park in the small trucker town about 20 minute from here, BM's trailer was towed to a campground in the town her dad lives in (about 45 minutes from me). The managers of the RV park apparently wanted her out so badly that they moved her trailer for her. I guess they had, a few times, had to call the police on her for various reasons. Fighting with MethMan, punching a wall in the rec room, one was a well being check because she hadn't come out of her trailer in several days. Anyway, she was kicked out. And relocated to a campground that she has lived at before, but last time it was in a tent. 

All the while, she has had her dad's truck but was only supposed to be using it to get back and forth to her Dr and Dentist Appts. She has to take a pill a day for her Hep C, but I guess they won't give her any more than 1 at a time so she has to go in every day. Probably because they have a high street value and she is on state insurance. They don't want junkies selling it for drug money. And she would. She is also having all of her teeth pulled and is getting dentures. Not sure how far along she is in that process but I know she has had several teeth pulled so far. 

Anyway, her dad has already got on her about taking his truck anywhere other than the 2 approved places. And she flipped out on him. If it were me I would have taken my truck away a LONG time ago. But... I digress. He went by her campsite on Monday to find everything including his truck is gone. He checked with the manager and she said the spot had been paid for 20 days and she only stayed 7 and left. He's tried calling and emailing... to no avail. She hasn't posted on FB in 2 days. And hasn't text SS since 11/3, he didn't respond. 

I suggested reporting the truck stolen. But I doubt he will do that unless  a lot more time passes and he doesn't hear from her. So for now, we wait. 


justmakingthebest's picture

Ehhhh.... Not knowing where crazy is hiding is unsettling.... 

Hopefully she turns up soon... and not dead for SS's sake. It must be hard to wish she would disappear but then when it happens not knowing what to do.

BSgoinon's picture

She was such a jerk when she was around... but we never wanted it to end up like this. 

lieutenant_dad's picture

What a chaotic mess that she has put herself into (and that her father has enabled).

How is SS handling it, or have you not told him? If it gets to the point where you think she is dead, and care, a text from his phone would likely either make her re-appear or confirm that she is truly gone. Not saying SS should be the one to send the message, or that one should be sent at all, but it would be the very last thing that could be done to "reach" her.

BSgoinon's picture

I haven't told him yet. She has disappeared in the past, and resurfaces eventually. But never with her dad's truck. I know she is alive because I can see that she is on FB right now. She just isn't posting anything. 

I thought about texting from his phone, but then I thought, I will wait a few. If her dad gets to the point that he actually reports his truck stolen then I will take some steps to help. 

SS is extremely smart in how he handles her. He's 15 years old now and has learned how to keep her at a distance but still be able to have short conversations with her. It's been almost a year since he has seen her. I did see in his phone a few weeks ago that he had saved a picture of him with  her from when he was about 5 years old. Honestly, that is probably the last time she was somewhat of a normal mom. I guess that is how he wants to remember her. Sad. 

SteppedOut's picture

Ugh. That is sad.

I jusy can't understand how a mom can just abandon her children like that. I mean, yeah drugs, but still. The mother/child bond that I feel with my children... I just cant comprehend.

I'm glad he has you in his life!

BSgoinon's picture

It is beyond me as well. I just can't wrap my mind around any of it. But, we all know, I saw it coming for a VERY long time. 

Aniki's picture

What a clusterf*ck. Sad

For her dad's sake, I hope she's found and okay.

BSgoinon's picture

It seriously breaks my heart to see him going through this. She is his only child. He REALLY thought he was helping her all of these years when  he was really enabling her. He has started referring to her as his "worthless daughter". I never thought he would get to that point. He has defended her for so many years. 

hereiam's picture

Geez, I wish that woman would get some help. Does anybody know where she goes to get her Hep C pills?

BSgoinon's picture

I suggested stopping by there and trying to catch her there. I don't think they can release info as far as if she has been in or not. It's against HIPPA. But anything is a start... 

Exjuliemccoy's picture

Your BM has merely descended to the next rung on the ladder of addiction. You know she's alive because you've seen her on fb. Drama, intrigue, going missing? It's common stuff with addicts. She'll turn up, and she won't give a toss about the worry she's caused.

You have such a good heart bs, but don't let yourself get too involved in the dance of addiction. This is between BM and her enabling daddy. ((hugs))

BSgoinon's picture

Thank you. I'm trying not to get too involved. This is for her dad to figure out. But it would be sad for SS if something were to happen to her. As much as he hates who she has become, he had a huge heart. 

I've been just answering her stepmom when she asks if anyone has heard from her. And pointing her in the direction of reporting her or the truck as missing/stolen. 

notsurehowtodeal's picture

Her Dad may be able to report her as missing or as missing/endangered - depending on how the local police department handles things. That way the information on the truck could be entered in the system, and if an officer runs the plate she will show as missing rather than the truck showing as stolen. That might sound better to her Dad and he might be willing to do it.


BSgoinon's picture

That's a good point. I just spoke with her stepmom and told her maybe report the truck stolen so at least someone is looking for her without actually looking for HER. So they don't have to go through the missing persons crap. We shall see what happens. 

Goodluck's picture

So sorry your family is going thru the awful vortex of addiction. Poor ss.

It will suck you in----if boundaries are not set in stone and stuck too. I know you know this BSgoinon.

PLEASE keep us posted. I know this is effecting you---even if you dont want it to. Maybe the best thing is she is caught and charged with something that will land her in jail for awhile. At least there she will be in treatment.

PLEASE also take care of yourself during this mess. I feel awful for you.



BSgoinon's picture

Thank you. I used to get sucked in deep. I've learned the hard way that as bad as I want to her get clean for SS's sake, SHE has to be the one that wants it. I have been on the team of her being put in jail for a very long time. I am not sure where her version of rock bottom is, but she hasn't hit it yet. 

notasm3's picture

She is such a waste of space.  Thank goodness your SS is growing up NOT under her influence.  I hope he will not feel pressured to "take care of her" when he's an adult.  She's never taken care of him.

BSgoinon's picture

I THINK he has grown out of that. He used  to tell us that when he becomes an MLB player (which is still his dream but he's more realistic about that now too LOL) that he is going to take care of his mom. He was 7 years old when he said that. Now he won't even return her text messages so I think that sense of responsibility is long gone. 

WalkOnBy's picture

addicition is such an awful I wish her dad had used his enabling powers for good rather than this.

hopefully, SM will get him to report the truck stolen.  I would hold off on telling SS anything until there is something to know.  

I am so glad that kid has you in his life!  Such a blessing you are Smile

BSgoinon's picture

WOB you are always so encouraging to me. Thank you. As I have said a million times, he is as much a blessing to me as I am to him. The kid has no idea how many times he has saved my marriage in the past. Most SM's want to LEAVE because of the Skid(s), I'm the rare one that when DH and I were going through it, I wanted to STAY because of him. 

somethingwicked's picture

You are amazing for caring.



BSgoinon's picture

I've known her for 14 years. It's really hard to see her like this. I can't imagine how SS feels when he thinks about her. :(