I had a relative who died at 30 from cirrhosis of the liver because she was an alcoholic. Really sad. But absolutely nothing anyone else can do if the drinker just wants to "cut back" rather than quit drinking.

SS30 freaks out and goes to the ER every time he hiccups. I think deep down he knows that drinking a quart of vodka every night (on a slow night) is not healthy. He brags about how he's "cut back". But he's still a heavy, heavy drinker.

other issues are smoking and food addiction. these all start out as personal choices.

You know what might make Twit feel better, Baccarat crystal paperweights! DH should run right over and give them to her.

I'm kidding of course but hope you know that and got a laugh out of it. }:) }:)

My ex-Stepfather died in his early 50's of the same thing. Major alcoholic all of his life, died living alone in a small trailer in CA and wasn't found for days. It's a sad way to live and a horrible death. Sad that drunkie's so young, hopefully he'll change his ways.

Vodka is not odorless. ExH drank that stuff like water and nearly died. I can't even look at a bottle of it without cringing and don't ever want to smell it again.

No one can do a thing for an alcoholic until they do it themselves. They might hit rock bottom or they may not. It doesn't matter what anyone does unless they are ready. It's a horrible, life destroying addiction.

*raising hand* As most of you know, I'm a recovering alcoholic. "Tapering" is a myth. The only tapering that works is the kind that is medically supervised. It's done in cases where the person is physically addicted to alcohol because (think Amy Winehouse) you can die from alcohol withdrawal. Drunkie needs to get to treatment and AA!

My mom is Twit, minus the whining to daddy part. My brother is in his mid twenties and drinks Vodka as well. He has torn up his stomach from the liquor and has to wear adult diapers sometimes because of the diarrhea. He does not have wet brain yet but it's coming. It sucks. He is an amazing singer and song writer. He could have really been something. He still could be but he refuses to give up the alcohol. Alcoholism is indeed a family disease. I think the drama that it creates can be just as addictive as the alcohol and women like my mom and Twit are junkies in their own way. My mother hires expensive lawyers to try and get my brother out of DUIs (he's facing a felony DUI and looking at prison next month) and gives my brother money. She knows full well where the money goes. She thinks she's loving him and she refuses to see that what she's doing is helping her son kill himself. When he dies, his blood will be on her hands. Ultimately, it is his choice to continue drinking but what she's doing is loving him to death. My heart goes out to Twit because I know she's in a lot of pain but she is addicted to the pain and refuses to get help. I have the feeling that deep down she doesn't want him to get well because then she couldn't get her fix. Give that hubby of yours a hug and be proud of him for refusing to be a part of the sickness.

I am going to have to remember that one, "More emotional fuel for her narcissism." If that's not the God's honest truth, I don't know what is. And I hear you on the self medicating to survive.... My brother has been drinking and smoking pot and K2 (synthetic weed) since he was 15. My mom loves to just wail and moan about how horrible her children are and about what a victim she is. She is an emotional vampire. She sinks her teeth in to unsuspecting victims and sucks out their joy, their worth, and their sanity.

SO GLAD YOU'RE MOVING!!! OMG...what a mess. Yes, drunkie needs to hit rock bottom because it seems he doesn't want to change. He needs to go to a rehab, then go to AA, and get the heck away from his enabling mother. Twit and her DH should go to AA as well so they can learn how to not ENABLE this kid.

Where has his father been in all of this?

My LCSW addiction specialist at a major rehab facility says that the drug addicts feel like they are going to die going thru withdrawal - but that the alcoholics truly could die during withdrawal if not done properly. Alcohol withdrawal for a heavy, heavy drinker does need to be done under medical supervision.

But medically supervised withdrawal is NOT the same thing as "cutting back".

I have a much younger relative with addiction issues. More than once he's gone cold turkey off of alcohol and ended up in the ER. He's the sweetest guy in the world, has never stolen from us, nor does he come around unless he is clean - which means we only see him every few years. It's so sad. His father was accidentally killed when he was about 5 and his mother had severe mental problems although she was not mean or abusive.

It's easy to wish you could "fix" others, but unfortunately it seldom works out that way.

I'm so glad you're moving. Clearly, there's a lot of dysfunction in Twit's household; the excrement is going to hit the fan at some point, so the further away you and DH can be, the better.

And shame on Twit's husband. He has chosen to bury himself in work and stay away instead of seeking solutions to help his sons. He should have divorced that crazy woman years ago.