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It Happened - Sadly - Drunkie Did It

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

It was only a matter of time since Drunkie already  had 2 DUI's (one T got him off on by spending beaucoup bucks).

Apparently he crossed the center line last night and plowed right into an ongoing car head  on.  He walked away with minor injuries but the driver of the other car is in the hospital AND Drunkie is in jail.

Guess Twit called DH early this a.m. our time all upset and beside herself.  WHAT is she going to do, what are people going to think of her FAMILY?

H came over this moring with breakfast and was giving me the details of what he knows.  He is shaken up as he knew, as I did, this was only a matter of time.  The details are that Drunkie has been living at T's, and not working or working sparadically as apparently he gets drunk, misses days and gets fired, since before THE WEDDING last summer.

I let  him talk about it because, well, it is upsetting and worrying for all of us.  Drunkie or not I care about him, but I would have handled things a lot differently.  With Twit, she feels that she can control the amount that Drunkie is allowed to drink and he will get better.  Yeah, I know, dellusional thinking on her part but...that's TWIT.

Anyway, she knows he is going to need a GOOD lawyer and, as usual, is looking for $$.  Even though H didn't ask, I told him not to look at me for a dime, period.  That what had occured was terrible but it was going to happen sooner or later.  AND, I didn't want to hear any woe is me stories about Twit.  This is what happens, in my humble opinion, she encouraged him along this path by not taking steps to try to stop him or get him REAL help.

This was one of things H was really concerned about in counseling, that this would happen and he's having a rough time.

Notice that Twit didn't say much about the injuries of the other party.  Oh her poor babie.

I feel a major headache coming on this weekend over this.  H is blaming himself that he should have stepped in and done something.  Right now I am just letting him carry on....will set him straight about just what he could possibly have done later.

Say some prayers for H.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh, one thing T was lamenting about is she doesn't want Drunkie to go to jail.  What will people think?

Um, sorry T, the charade is up and was really  up a long time ago.  Your martyrdom for sympathy only let folks know that things in your IMMEDIATE family cadre were not normal.

tog redux's picture

I assume Drunkie is an adult and Twit's son? If this is his 3rd DUI, why would anyone cough up a penny for an attorney for him?  With a 3rd DUI with injuries to someone else, he's going to prison.

I'm sure it's painful for your H, but it's time for Drunkie to get some consequences and maybe get sober.

Monkeysee's picture

Exactly this. ‘Helping’ him at this point is simply enabling. Next accident he might not get so lucky & end up killing himself or someone else, or both. Your H needs to do nothing. Let his grandson go to jail, exactly where he deserves to be. 

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Actually, it is his second on the books.  The first one due to a good expensive lawyer who dragged it out for almost 2 years, got the first DUI dropped.

tog redux's picture

Even with a second one, he may go to prison.  The other one may have been dropped, but they know it happened, and it might lead to him getting the stricted penalty they can give him (without saying that).

notasm3's picture

DH and I did not cough up a $350 fine for DH beating up an elderly man so he went to jail for a short stay (7-8 years ago).  Actions have consequences.

What will people think? That's he's a drunk who almost killed someone  That's what he should tell her.

A dear, dear friend of mine (now deceased) and her DH (also deceased) were two of the finest people ever (no Twit tendencies).  They raised two great young men.  But their daughter became a hopeless alcoholic.  They sent her to every name recovery program in the country.  They literally spend hundreds of thousands of dollars.  Nothing worked.

No one can make somebody get clean and sober.  Your DH needs to toss the guilt.

notasm3's picture

How funny of me!  DH has no history of beating up anybody. Ss34 has a long history of violence. 

sandye21's picture

But please inform DH that you will not be available as his sounding board for Twit woes.  I feel really sorry for the people Drunkie hit and hope they survive.  Going to prison might be the best thing that happens fro Drunkie.  He will get the attention he need and be away from the influence of T.  Good you will not allow any of your money to go toward anything to do with T.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Sandye, agree 100%.  Actually would feel safer with T in jail if you know what I mean.

I set boundaries about this with H and told him he needs to talk to the counselor about this matter, she is more experienced in these things that I could ever be.

As the day wears on he is getting his sealegs back under him on this matter.  I also told him  IT IS NOT HIS PROBLEM, Drunkie is an adult, T is his mother.  Also that T's hubby, that lame excuse for a father, needs to step up to the plate on this one and not hide out at his work like he does.

Letti.R's picture

What is there to defend here?
Why waste money on a lawyer?
A third DUI put someone in hospital.
Drunkie deserves to go to jail for a very long time.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Yes, hereiam, he deserves to go to prision, but so does T for egging him on in  his addiction, so to speak. 

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Let me clarify something.  The first DUI T got a good lawyer and by repeated delays etc. they got the charges dropped so though Drunkie was caught drunk (he had run car off road and had an open bottle of vodka and refused DUI test) that one doesn't count.  The last one did and he had his license pulled for a period of time and had to do some other things which I forget right now.

This time it is serious.  Someone was injured.  More than likely he is going to do some prison time.

And YES, I have told H that I know he is upset about this but he needs to make an appointment with our counselor about it, to help him straighten things out.  That no one can help Twit as she rules the roost and he knows it regarding her "babies"

I reminded him how both of us tried to help him with AA meetings (to drive him to because T claimed she couldn't fit it in her schedule [just another excuse]}.  How he was blown off on that and other things.  That I know he loves Drunkie, but there is nothing he can do (and not a penney will I spend on a loser like Drunkie, sadly  he is set in his ways).

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

One other thing I want to mention here......one cannot believe a darn word of what T says.  Everything is slanted to make her look like a victim, poor her.  And to make it look like every one is dumping on Drunkie.  Twit is a habitual liar and you can't trust anything she says other than Drunkie was involved in an accident, the other party is in hospital and Drunkie was driving DUI and crossed the center line.

All the rest T feeds to my H is all Twit Sh*t plain and simple.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Oh yes, it's going to cost someone --- not me that is for sure.  And you can bet that Twit doesn't want to fork out over $10,000+ again for Drunkie.

Every tme my H brings/brought it up today I would stop him and tell him it is NOT HIS PROBLEM NOR IS IT MINE.  His Twit's hubby makes over 6 figures in salary, so if they want to pony up for Drunkie let them, but  being cheap she cried poor mourth to her Father looking for $$$.

Exjuliemccoy's picture

SDM, it was good of you to listen when your DH first told you about Drunkie's lastest felony, but keep shutting him up each and every time he tries to discuss it with you. Draw your boundary, even if you must ask him to leave. Things are different now, you're done with all things T, and he has a counselor to share this stuff with.

This is part of the new protocol for building a healthier marriage - he deals with his baggage, and is supposed to protect you from all things Twit-related, while you don't have to worry about Other People's Problems.

sandye21's picture

DH informed you about Drunkie.  You responded.  End of conversation.

--figureditout--'s picture

As a former drunken asshole, I can't even begin to think about how many times I was drunk behind the wheel. As an alcoholic with a bit of sobriety, I am grateful that I no longer partake.  I am sure that you already know, but there is no force that will stop a drunk until they decide for themself.

A very dear and wonderful friend of mine is currently in prison.  He got a 10 year sentence and damn near lost his life.  He has physical disabilities due to his stupidity AND killed another human being.  He accepts the fact that he must pay for the crime he committed.  I visit him when I can and speak to him a few times weekly.  His son was 5 when he was sent to prison and my friend won't see him outside the visitation room until all 10 years are served; no early release. He will forever be a felon, and will never hold a driver's license again.   He is working on a childrens book, teaching his cellmate how to read and taking part in a program that trains K9s used in bomb/drug sniffing capacities.

tog redux's picture

Yes, drunk driving seems like a black and white issue (drunk driver BAD) until you know someone with an alcohol addiction who has ruined their own life as well as the lives of others by driving drunk - and you know them to be a wonderful and good person with a terrible addiction, who made a horrific, life-changing mistake.

Congrats on your sobriety.

 

notasm3's picture

My sweet 23 year old SIL was hit by a drunk driver 35 years ago. She has been all but a vegetable ever since. She is not in a coma but there is nothing there. She cannot eat, walk, talk or do anything. 

The young man who hit her was not an alcoholic- he’d just been out partying. 

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

As you have said, everytime H starts to bring up the matter I tell him that it is  not his problem nor mine and I want nothing to do with it.

He wants to call her and see what is going on.  I told him he could, but not from MY house, he could go home or somewhere else and do so if he wished AND I didn't want to hear any of the details.  So far he hasn't called.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Just an update to let you all know I am keeping my boundary line on this.  If H starts to mention it I stop him midsentence and tell him I don't want to hear about T and her problems, he needs to talk to the counselor about it.  Her problems etc. are far beyound my pay grade.

He is s-l-o-w-l-y getting the message.

sandye21's picture

It's sad that it is taking so long for DH to get the message but this has been going on so long it's a hard thing to change.  Just keep saying no and eventually he will re-program himself to stop.  Good luck.

Rags's picture

Though I have zero sympathy or empathy for T, Drunkie or any of that unfortunate gene pool.

I do feel for DH.  But... not enough to advise even $.01 of contribution for Drunkie's defense.  He needs to go to prison for a long, long, long time.   And Twit needs to feel the full contempt of the communty towards her family.

Daddy should not even be taking her calls on this.  Access to Daddy needs to be only what he accepts.  And that should be about ZERO IMHO.

She will just use this, as she uses everything else, to suck him back in.

I hope that DH can keep all of this at a very long arms length and let his GK go to prison. Even recommend to the DA that Drunkie receive the most severe possible charges and exposure to sentencing.   If the victim dies.... I am hoping for life without the possibility of parole for Drunkie.  He should not be allowed to put anyone else at risk with his bullshit. Society needs to have as much of Twit's shallow and polluted gene pool removed from circulation as possible. The victim and family should sue T for everything she will ever be worth for facilitating her toxic drunk assed spawn's crap.  Since Drunkie is worthless, they need to go after T and her DH.

Take care of you.

shes driving me crazy in my retirement's picture

Agree about the gene pool.  Seeing as only one of Twit's brood has a normal relationship with a woman, I have my hopes.

T actuall talks to people about how the Drunkie is bisexual, etc.  Can you believe it?  Fatso, the eldest, has never had a date and can bearly get out from his video games, which are his life.  He too is a drinker but as he doesn't have a car he walks to the booze store (doesn't have a car because Twit buys him old big beaters which don't last long as they break down).

But T is not dysfunctional, nor is her family and She has no problem telling you that.  That is why it is everyone else's fault.

notasm3's picture

Even if it is a genetic or heriditary issue - it is not your problem.  SS34’s issues almost certainly have a hereditary issue. 

notasm3's picture

Even if it is a genetic or heriditary issue - it is not your problem.  SS34’s issues almost certainly have a hereditary issue. 

Harry's picture

is still involved with the EX.  HE HAS NOT LET HER GO.  why would he want to be calling ??