The good and the bad and the impossible-I may have a job, the IRS can have H
So far so good on the job interview. they have contacted two of my references, and I know these ladies gave me a shining report.
Tomorrow will the the day I find out.
Bad part? It took me 10 hours today to get mom home from the hospital, get everything she needed, go over everything with Home Health, get Mom and Dad fed. Get them into bed. Mom still fighting me all the way. The dr. sent me to his office to pick up an 8 weekd supply of one of her prescriptions. To make a long story short, it took me 1 1/2 hours to get those pills. When I brought them home, Mom said she refuses to take them. I blew up. Told her that why would she let me spend nearly 2 hours getting them, when I am so overwhelmed with all that needs done, and so tired, and then refuse them.
Then she gave me a check to go to Walmart pharmacy to get the rest of her meds. And said "I hate giving you a blank check." I said, "If you don't trust me, who do your trust to get them?" She was-oh, it's not that I don't trust you. I'm just afraid you'll lose it." :jawdrop:
And she's being that way about everything. I finally just told her that things were hard enough-to stop making them twice as hard as they have to be. So of course she started crying. It's like paranoia, or OCD or something....the care team at the hospital today told me they really admire me. I told them nothing I'm doin is admirable-I'm just doing what has to be done.
NOW-on to H. He was supposed to talk to the IRs today to find out just how much he owes. Well, he said, they will be garnishing $500 out of each paycheck. That's $1,000 a month :jawdrop:. And he owes $13,000 in penaltys. So I said, ok, how much is the total-back taxes, plus penaltys? THE JERK WON'T TELL ME. SAID HE DOESN'T KNOW (which I of course know is a lie).
Girls and guys-I'm supposed to hear the final decision about the job tomorrow. I need it so desperately-and he'll be history within weeks. The bad part is-it's for a small office here, and I'm sure they'll want me to start Thursday, if I got it. Because they have the doors locked since no one is there right now. And it's costing them business.
Mom is so confused, I just don't know. Dad is exhausted, he's not thinking well at all. The Home Health Nurse put two weeks of mom s meds in those day week-containers. Real simple. So tonite when I helped Mom into bed, I asked if she took her evening meds. She said yes, she took her pain pill. I go look in the dividers, and there sit her evening pills. totally ignored.
Again, I'm scared. Ruined if I don't get the job, scared to death for Mom and Dad if I do. I hate my life.
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You ARE admirable
I would have lost it a long time ago. You are doing a phenomenal job of taking care of your parents.
I am sending tons of hugs and supportive vibes your way!
(((HUGS)))
Congrats!!
Congrats on the job bewitched...I have no doubt that you will get it and be able to free yourself from leech and his leechette's! I am sorry to hear that your mother is ill and being so difficult but remember "this too shall pass"...I am proud of you and your should give yourself a good pat on the back!!
Stupid people shouldn't breed!
You have a lot
On your plate! I wish your Mom was easier to get along with but aging parents their personalities are what they are -and we have to "work" our way around their idiosyncrasies (easier said than done). Try to remember to take time for yourself (even a hot bath with a candle!)-listen to soothing music-pray-walk in the woods-take comfort from friends-eat chocolate (if you like it)-in short, take care of yourself in the midst of the chaos.
I will be so glad when that man is on his own and you have your life back!
My prayers are with you!
Step Parenting – you might need to step back before you step in something!
Hang in there
Start the job whenever they need you - Mom will have to cooperate, you don't have time for her 'personality'! Just do the best you can dear, that is ALL you can do. Take care of you and things will (slowly) improve . . . hugs
"A lie told often enough becomes the truth." - Vladimir Lenin
It is really hard when
It is really hard when parents get older or something happens and the care taker role has to switch to us as their children. My sf was ill for 3 years before he finally passed away. It only got really bad the last 5 months. My mother was the primary care taker and I know it was hard on her. I am the baby of 8 and live the farthest away but besides my sister I saw and took more care of my sf than my 6 brothers. Some who only live an hour away.
Do your parents have MC? If so what about having your mom in a Rehab/Nursing home. MC will pay up to 90 days especially since she spent more than 3 days in the hospital.
Towards the end when my mom was still working she hired a person to come and sit with him during the day. I think it cost her about 10 an hour. But the home health agency should also offer to have a CNA come in and bath her twice a week.
If they have other insurance, check to see what they might cover.
I wish you luck on the job. I know it will hard to juggle both until everything gets settled. Good luck!
First things first
First, get that job (sounds promising!). Then take a breath. HUGE accomplishment!
Then you can look for more professional help for your parents--you'll have to. Honestly, you can't take care of them full-time and work full-time too. Something's got to give.
Last of all, you will be able to eject that jerk leech husband from the chair in your living room, and from your life.
But it all starts with that job. One thing at a time...you'll get there! May take a bit of time, but you'll get there! My mantra is that "I can do anything for a short period of time that would kill me if I had to do it for a lifetime."
You won't have to live like this for the rest of your life. Each day is one more day closer to when you will be FREE.
I'm with Sarah on this one.
Take the job and look for more help for your parents.
It is IMPOSSIBLE to do 24/7 care with aging parents and have a life. You WILL get sick or worse. You are not being "selfish" or being a "bad daughter". You simply are HUMAN and are not 10 people who take turns in SHIFTS caring for patients.
We all tried taking care of our aging grandmother and eventually just had to put her into a care facility. It's not cruel, it's part of life. It happens.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."-Eleanor Roosevelt
Great news about the job!!
Keep thinking positively, everything will work itself out (((HUGS)))
One can only hope!
Pace yourself and breathe in and out - in and out!!!!!
Oh SW. This is too full a plate! I can't imagine caring for both your parents and trying to care for yourself. If your mom is non-compliant you may have to get POA and place her somewhere. My sister and BIL just had to do this with his mom who has Alzheimers. It's so very hard. But Vic and Toryray. Time to see what is available. You cannot do this on your own.
My thoughts are with you!
"When you take charge of your life, there is no longer need to ask permission of other people or society at large. When you ask permission, you give someone veto power over your life." ~Geoffrey F. Abert
I agree...you need to accept
I agree...you need to accept this job and start whenever they need you. From what you said jobs in your area are very scarce right now...so you have to take it. You need to sit your mom and dad down tell them this is how it will be. I need to work to support myself and pay my bills. They will have to deal with a caretaker, I know they don't want to, but they will have to deal with it and they will get use to it. Be glad you at least live next door so checking on them is easy...and you don't have to drive across town. I know they are getting on in years and I know they are both ill, but you need to do whatever it take to make them understand that you are getting this job because you no longer want to be married to H. You may even have to tell them a few things that he's done to you, i.e., finances, etc. so they will understand how important it is to YOUR health to get rid of him.
Good Luck!