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This poor kid...

rosie33's picture

If you have read anything else I have posted, BM got SS11 put on adderall without fathers consent (a lot more to it) and the doc that prescribed it told her NOT to give him the meds after speaking to DH. DH went into school to discuss SS11 behavior with teachers and counselor and they told him they were surprised to have to do eval's on SS11, hes a good kid and has normal behavior. This week is our week of custody so she has been going into the school to administer the meds. Well SS11 doesn't like taking them and decided today he was going to tell her that. The school counselor and principal called DH on speaker and told him she came into the office and things got really uncomfortable. SS11 didn't want to take the pills and she pretty much forced them down his throat. The counselor spoke to him after and SS11 told her how he doesn't think he needs them but she tells him all the time how the things he does is because of his disorder - like nag his brother, or forget a paper for school. The counselor said she would call the doctor and tell him he's perfectly fine at school and they dont feel he needs the meds either, even though all the eval's from the teachers already showed that. BM was supposed to have her own meeting with teachers and counselor today and blew it off. DH has been trying to contact Dr since last week so he finally made an appt and him and BM are supposed to meet with him in person on Thursday - this oughtta be good! She claims the Dr never told her NOT to give him the meds.

On another note, after SS11 decided to stand up to his mom, she decided to file for child support modification in return. Lovely. Apparently she has a doc note to not have to work anymore, indefinitely. Something about permanent nerve damage in her arm. Honestly, who knows, BUT that sets us up to be screwed over nicely. We currently pay $170/mo because she did have a decent job, however now she will be put at zero and if we did the numbers right we will be paying $900/mo. How in the hell are we supposed to pay our lawyer fees on top of $900 mo child support. All so she can sit at home and collect food stamps and give her son meds he dont need. It gets to be so overwhelming. In order to get a mental eval on her, that alone is $4500! If this Dr says he told her NOT to give her the meds in front of her and we find out shes been doing it knowing she wasn't supposed to, we have to take her to court. There is something seriously wrong with her.

frustratedstepdad's picture

Wow, I don't even know where to begin. If the Dr specifically told her not to give SS the medication, then I'm sure he'd be willing to write a letter for you stating that. As far as the child support....wow that really sucks. Even with the nerve damage though, she still should be able to find some type of gainful employment.

Perhaps you guys could petition for custody. SS is old enough now that the judge may listen to his opinion as well. Really sucks you guys are going through this!

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

Wow ~ this kid needs you guys to be his advocate !!!

My concern is ~ the dr giving her the script n now going back on what he did cause he neglected to find out more information.

Malpractice ???

If she can't work ~ wouldn't it be easier for you to get him. If she can't work ~ how can she care for him ?? Driving him here n there. How will she be supporting him financially ???

Easylikesundaymornin's picture

No ~ just wondering if it would be easier for the OP to take care of the child financial as well. I have not been divorced so I am not educated in this area ~ sorry.

Her supplement would be disability ~ could cs jump over 800+ ??

She sounds like an educated person in the medical field ~ like a dr shopper ~ just seems weird

rosie33's picture

You hit the nail on the head! She used to be an RN - hence why the Doc trusted her and took her word for everything without any questions. DH informed him she hasn't been an RN for 4 years! She also had a "falling out" with an orthopedic office and refuses to go back. I think the doc wouldn't give her the "diagnoses" she wanted and she ended up going out of state where she got what she wanted. She told someone she got her note from her psych to be off work then told someone else she got it because of her nerve damage, we don't know what is true anymore. I guess we will find out at domestics. She did file for disability - she doesn't know we know but she'll blab to someone when she gets it and hopefully we can go modify. So as of now we are hoping she does get it!

Orange County Ca's picture

It takes a mother to raise a boy. It takes a father to raise a man.
It's time the father sued for custody. It will end the pills and child support. Of course ask for support from her but the letter, if valid, will probably end that idea.

I know you guys can't ask to see the letter but your husband can write the person who wrote the letter if he knows who it is and tell them that she's claiming .... and if s/he didn't write it he should look into it.

rosie33's picture

We called CPS - they said they can't do anything because she got the original script. Now if we find out that she got it filled again somehow, then we can call CPS. Our state CS laws (PA) ARE stupid. The laws say that both households should be equal. So since she doesn't want to work or whatever the case is, we have to make up for that. They have a guideline they use, so based on DH's income and hers at zero, there is a magic # that is listed which represents how much it would cost per mo to take care of two kids and with her being at zero, that means DH is responsible for that by himself between the two houses. He gets 20% off because he has 50/50 and also gets insurance deducted because he pays for that too! As soon as he goes in there in 4 weeks, he will already be in the hole a month's worth, which is going to be $800 some dollars, so we are trying to prepare for that and have that already in hand when he goes otherwise he will automatically have arrears and that will take it almost to 850/900 a month.

ctnmom's picture

Why do I see so many single moms with drugged up boys? Boys forget, are messy, boisterous- in this case, I agree with everyone else- please advocate for this kid. He's old enough to voice his opinion.

rosie33's picture

Thank you for all the concern and comments - I honestly do appreciate them. Reading everyone's input helps me get my wheels going in what we need to do next. As of now, we are waiting to see what happens in this doctor's office tomorrow with both of them there. DH is going to point out everything she has said and lied about in front of the doc -including her telling DH that the doctor was in agreement to go behind his back so he wouldn't know about the pills. If all goes well, we will file for contempt due to her doing everything without DH's consent and also disregarding doc's orders. We will also be throwing in there that she is on a doc's note and if its because of her mental state, then maybe she shouldn't have her kids right now. Not until she gets help. I whoe heartedly feel this woman is sick. It's always a crap shoot, every single time we feel like we have everything in order to show this woman for what she is, some how some way, she comes out on top! It blows my mind. But like you all have said, we have to do this for SS11. As much as he may get on my nerves I truly feel sorry for him to have to endure this, especially from his own mother.