"If the kid says they are trans, embrace it. They don't need the internet to be trans. If they are "faking" it won't last long."

^^^^ Great advise.

Be kind and supportive of your SD.

Can you site the source for the therapist that you talk about in your first paragraph? What treatment guidelines only allow the therapist to "support the identity?" Most therapist are free to treat people however they want to.

I do think it is a trend for teens to be much more open about their sexuality. They tend to understand that sexuality is on a continuum and understand there can be some fluidity. It would follow that they would be more accepting and understanding of those who are trans as well.

You and DH might want to do some research on the subject on reputable web sites or even in books. I don't think reddit and tumblr are the best sources to find info to help understand your SD.

I just saw your user name BibleOfMyDreams.........that poor kid is screwed.

I've had/have many LGBTQ friends - including an openly gay, married Anglican Priest (one of my favourite people in the world) who was also a child & youth worker at his church. I've reached out to him for some advice.

The best thing is to sit sd down and talk - BUT DO LEGITIMATE RESEARCH FIRST. Find your local LGBTQ Alliance and make an appointment to talk to someone so that you're in the know from actual experts. If you don't have an LGBQT Alliance in your area, google LGBTQ Alliance where you'll find legitimate sources and contacts that you can reach out to. Ask your questions, ask if they can refer you to a support group closer to your area. You can't help sd if you don't have a solid base of information.

Sit down with sd and ask her what transgender means to her. Your first clue is if she can't define it or define it in terms of her own sexuality. If she scoffs and gives you attitude, then you may be correct that she's "trending". If she's nervous but gives you genuine and thoughtful replies, then it's very likely she's an LGBTQ person. Either way, you should arrange for her to speak with a qualified counselor within the LGBQT community. If she is "trending" then A) she won't want to go and you may see her move on or the counselor will likely pick on indicators in her responses/behaviour and will be able to guide you both through this "phase". If she is LGBTQ, this will be the best thing you will ever do for her and your relationship with her. You'll be acknowledging that you accept her for who she is and that you'll get her the help she needs to make it through the roughest time of her life.

No matter how one personally feels on the subject, teens are so very breakable, especially ones struggling with issues of sexuality. The fear of being disowned/abandoned by family and disavowed by friends are nothing compared to the fear of physical violence/hazing that drives many of these kids to suicide.

My own anecdote - My Ex's brother is gay. When I met him I knew instantly but my Ex swore me to secrecy because his parents didn't know. When he came out 18/19, his mother (a strict french catholic) acted as though her world had ended and all but disowned him. She would cry and cry and cry. She'd give him books on how his being gay was ruining her life, like this was ALL ABOUT HER. He'd done something terrible TO HER and she couldn't see what she was doing to him.

She even swore him to secrecy with his grandparents, saying "it would kill them". Well, turns out when he did come out to his grandparents not long after, his grandma surprisingly and very kindly told him "Honey, we know. We've known since you were a little boy." And that was that. It didn't kill anyone. The rest of the family accepted and supported him, because he was who he always had been. He was a funny, intelligent, well-mannered, kind and loving young man. That didn't change because he loved men, in fact he was only able to finally be the best of himself because he could be himself without any more guilt or fear.

Now, that's not to say that you're situation is the same or different.

She is who she is. Take it slow and talk with her, not at her.

Kids that young have no clue who or what they are. They can live as their birth gender until they launch and then they can become who they wish. IMHO of course.

I see no correlation between the OP's Stalk name and her need to comment and deal with her own feelings of her Skid's issue du juor. Very few of these kids are anything more than seeking attention or deflection for their behavioral bullshit. Most will grow up to be run of the mill men or women as the gender they are born and will be mortified of their teen bullshit in hind site.

The ones who are legitimate in their dismorphia can navigate their gender dismorphia or reassignment when they are adults and should be fully capable of rational thought. Until then they can do what every kid does. Suck it up and grow up navigating all of the teen angst and crap that every other person in history has had to navigate. These kids are nothing special because they fail to perform in a special manner. When they step up and excel, then they can be special and that includes being a special transgender person if they are in fact transgender. But that should occur when they are adults. Playing the fucked up issue du juor does not make them special. It makes them pathetic IMHO. Special will be when they act in a special manner rather than making excuses for their bullshit.

We are also experiencing this at our house. Yes, there is much more acceptance of transgender people (though still not nearly enough), but I also agree that it seems to be a thing SOME teens are using to get attention. SD has claimed this off and on. She sees a therapist regularly who is a gender specialist. The therapist does not think SD is really transgender. She has mental health issues and it's been recommended that she go into intensive outpatient therapy at the psych hospital. Her mother denies that she has any issues and doesn't think she needs therapy. SD is refusing to go for a full psych eval, and mom backs her up on that. I am doing my best to remain disengaged, not because of her claim to be transgender, but because of all the other issues of living with a difficult teenage step child. Her dad (who I will be married to in two weeks) is the one who takes her to all her therapy appointments, speaks with her therapist regularly about how things are going at home, and wants her to go for the evaluation.

Why are you so concerned how your SD identifies? It's really none of your business. What is your business is that she does her chores, goes to school and is respectful to her parents and other people. Your SD will work out her identity in her own time. If she wants to get a gender reassignment surgery when she's old enough and can pay for it herself then that is her business.

You're following accounts on Tumblr and Reddit about Transgender folks...Why? A little curious are you? Quit following Caitlyn Jenner on Tumblr, read your bible and stop worrying how your SD sexually identifies.

Judge not, that ye be not judged.For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again. And why beholdest thou the mote that is in thy brother's eye, but considerest not the beam that is in thine own eye?

A perspective.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/trans-girl-hormones_560a959ce4b0af37...

My fiancé got a call from the school social worker today. Apparently, there was a training to help schools set up policies for working with, and respecting the needs of, transgender kids. So SD's high school is actively working on this issue. The social worker collected the names of students who identify as another gender or who have asked to be called by a different name or who want to use a different pronoun. She's contacting the families of those kids, to make them aware of the school's efforts. She said that frankly, the list of kids is so long she doesn't know how she's going to get to all of them. The number of kids who are identifying as transgender has exploded in the last year. I'm sure a certain percentage of those kids are actually transgender. But, speaking as the step parent of one of those kids. I am pretty damn sure that she's a poser.