I said I'd go over the family, and I haven't yet. My bad.

My significant other had a relationship in his late teens/early twenties in which he got her pregnant. They got married, had a daughter, and divorced later on. So that creates BM1 (biological mom, right?) and SD16.

That situation in and of itself is complicated. BM1 is, or should be, clinically insane. I realize I've gained a majority of this info from Him, and therefore might be biased, but things I've heard from SD17 since dating Him back everything up.

BM1 has, through the years, survived approximately all the cancers. Most notably, brain cancer. The others being colon, cervical, and ovarian. She survived them all though, but now she's going through breast cancer and chemo. And recently discovered, is pregnant. About 5 months, apparently.

Now, I'm not trying to sound like I'm against cancer survivors/fighters. I'm not. But I do not believe this woman is sick. New 'turns for the worst' always came when SD16 called mom to talk about stresses that he had.

I realize now, I failed to mention two things. One-SD16 is defining himself as Trans, so I use male pronouns. Perhaps I should say STD16? StepTransDaughter? =\ Two-STD16 lives with us full time. BM1 does not have custody, as He won custody after BM1 made STD16 lose almost a full year of school. Told school STD was being home schooled, told Him that he was going to school. STD is not aware of this. I don't know the reasoning as to why, but I know He doesn't want to tell him now, because STD will just feel that it's an attack against his mom. He's very protective of BM1.

Okay, continuing. BM1's new ailments, or new discoveries that she's closer to dying/needs a masectomy/doesn't need a masectomy now cause it's too deep/might not see christmas (this past christmas that was...)/might not see summer/is being sent on a trip by the doctors because she's so terminal....they all are told to STD when he calls to tell BM1 troubles in his life. BM1 seems to need to have the attention on her. Let's not even delve into the deep caverns of the fact that all BM1's specialist appointments occur on Sundays, whenever STD went to visit mom in CancerCare, mom would meet him downstairs in the coffee shop, or across the street, and the doctors wouldn't let STD into mom's room. Or sometimes it was 'I can't see you this weekend, the Doctors say I'm to have no visitors right now' or some other slew of bullshit.

Recently, STD had his bf (also transwoman) come up from out of country to meet for the first time. BM1 said she had a hotel booked for them, that she would be staying with them to ensure supervision at all times, that it was paid and booked and good to go. Plane arrives and He and I with STD go to pick bf up, and lo and behold, the hotel room has been double booked for the night (but would be guaranteed for the rest of the week), so could the bf please stay with us. (Even though we had very clearly stated we were not comfortable with a complete stranger staying in the house.) We said yes, for the one night, but that was all, and that bf was to sleep in one of the SS's beds (as it was their week with BM2). Fairly certain STD didn't follow that rule as the bed was unslept in. The next day, oh no, the hotel guests that had been over booked in their room didn't check out in time, so somehow this meant that they weren't accepting their reservation at all. They would need the original credit card holder to show and pay (again, with no reimbursement) for another room if they wished to have one. Conveniently, it was BM1's mom who was paying for the room originally, and they couldn't get ahold of her for the card or her to come in to help, so they lost the room for the week.

They tried pushing us to stay with us, but as the Boys were coming that day for their week with us, it was a solid no. So they went to BM1's bf's place, and that led to issues from there. Boredom, couldn't get in to the city because of too much snow, oh no mom fell and her stitches ripped and she can't get out of bed because she might bleed out...

Again, please understand, if it's not clear, that we just don't believe this woman is sick. If nothing else, how many people do you know of that have survived, perfectly fine, brain cancer? Let alone three others, and now battling a third, with chemo treatments, specialists on sundays (when specialists in this city don't work sundays), a full head of hair, and a nice full and plump figure. I just don't buy it.

Unfortunately, STD does. And it's killing him. He's got so much stress going on with psych appointments, doctor appointments, meetings to get the transition on it's way, missing school for these appointments, mom guilting him into missing school 'oh, I guess school is more important than your dying mom, that's fine' and now mom 'dying'.

STD has severe anxiety, depression, and I'm not really sure what else. Perhaps it's just a more severe anxiety than I'm used to seeing. Not perhaps, it is, I just don't know if there's more potentially behind it. He has said that he has had suicidal thoughts. He's said he doesn't want to outlive his mom, that when she goes, he will be shortly behind, but that he can't because it's not what mom would want, but how can he go through a transition when his mom isn't there to see it. (We won't touch on the obvious concern there of how serious he is about the transition if he's questioning doing it if 'mom isn't around to see it')

Now, He and I joined STD in a counselling apt this week, and he let things out to the therapist that We didn't know. At his mom's, about a month ago, he tried sudo-suicide. He turned the shower on, laid on the floor, and choked himself until he passed out. I say sudo, because he even said he knows he can't kill himself that way. The body won't let us, but he just wanted to feel something. This is around the time that he was panicking about how the bf's visit would go, if they would get along in person, he was waiting to find out if the Clinic would accept him to begin the process of the Transition and didn't like the idea of his future being determined by others because if he wasn't approved for the transition, he didn't know what he would do. Plus stresses of school and friends trying to commit suicide and calling him in the process, a "friend" outing him as trans to the whole school. Thankfully the school and the kids around him, took it smoothly. "If they hadn't, I wouldn't be here right now."

Also STD talked about how he's happy he's getting a baby sister now. That even if his mom isn't going to be around, he's going to have a piece of her. But then would he ever see the new sibling (cause his custody is with Us, and baby would be....who knows--if mom does happen to die this claimed time.)

My Significant Other (SO) and I are concerned that when this baby doesn't happen, because sure as shit something is going to fail the pregnancy/miscarry/something, how it will affect STD. It will pull the floor out from under him and could just be a tipping point, if something else doesn't tip him before.

Oh I remember where I was going before with the story of the bf coming in from out of country. After the bf left, STD made a comment to BM1's fiance that he wasn't surprised that mom let him down again. ((His 16th birthday almost a year ago now, mom promised a hotel president's suite was booked for him and a few friends to party the night, and that fell through literally an hour before the 'check in' time.)) Fiance then told BM1 the STD's comment, and it apparently sparked a huge fight between BM1 and her fiance. Suddenly BM is pregnant.

BM1 has a history, from what I understand, of many men, and as soon as men start catching on to her insanity and bullshit, she pulls some big lie, or flat out leaves them. I have heard this from not only my SO, but a number of his friends who were around when they were together and married.

Head spinning yet?

Oh boy...that's just the one side...and if that's even all of it. =-s

Side two is a tad simpler. My SO met up with BM2 when she had a young son already. Young enough that because real dad wasn't int he picture at all, SO took legal responsibility of father to him. They were together for a few years before having their own son together. This makes SS14 and SS10. SS14 is not biologically my SO's son, but shares the same mom as SS10. So STD is blood relative to SS10 through SO, SS10 is blood relative to SS14 through BM2.

BM2 went on a lying spree shortly after SS10 was born, and when they were saving to buy a house together, she stole the money SO was giving her to put into the saving. "What money, you didn't give me anything."

That relationship ended I think 8 years ago? And BM2 kept the boys until the custody was decided, denying SO rights to see them in the process. He now knows that was against his parental rights. They now share 50/50 custody of the boys. One week with Us, one week with BM2 and her now husband.

Now husband of BM2 lived in Alberta and moved here to be with her and the boys. Convinced his work to work out of office in our city. Now, the company has apparently been bought out, and is demanding he return to the other city to work, or lose his job. So they are now fighting for full custody. Fun thing is that his job isn't rare. IT tech. Not like he can't get a job in our city easily. Also, he has a son of his own, in another city, that he doesn't have custody over, nor ever sees. So why is he fighting to take my SO's son away from Us, when he didn't even fight for custody of his own Biological son.

So many things regards to that...but talk of the custody battle as of date is for another time.

I think this post is long enough as it is.

=_=

Oi.