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Stolen health insurance award

RLZ0073's picture

So, my stupid H suckered me into putting his kids on MY insurance. These 2 SDs who treat me like dog sh$t and disrespect their parents and grandparents. It saves him money as his policy sucks (he reimburses me) and it allowed his ExW to quit her legit job for a job where she’s gone a lot away from her responsibility. 

Well, by doing so many exams, physicals and health things per year, I get a discount on my insurance and a $35 ‘award’ where I can apply it towards a copay, etc.

i was just diagnosed as having Rheumatoid arthritis so I have several appointments scheduled this month. I go to print the paperwork and I noticed my $35 is almost gone! WTF?!? I do not take any drugs!!!

so I call my insurance company and it turns out my employer set it up that a pharmacy purchase automatically deducts from my award.

so the c&nt ExW was purchasing a prescription for one of the ‘b!tches’ (as she calls em) and it gave her MY AWARD CREDIT!!! And my H doesn’t care that the ExW is getting my benefit!

I don’t have to provide these kids SHIT!!! At ALL! I’m being generous enough to put these ungrateful jerks on my policy to help out their asinine parents... and this is what I get? Does she not notice, ‘gee this prescription was discounted... that’s weird! Maybe I should ask rlz0073 about the insurance’ 

Nope she pretty much stole my award that I had to jump through so many hoops for... and now that I was diagnosed with an illness that’s going to shorten my lifespan. 

It hurts me most because my H doesn’t care! She already gets my good insurance (which I don’t have to provide SHIT) to her demon spawn. AND she gets $2k a month so her old fart BF can stay home and play cabana boy. 

Ive been so depressed this week. I almost walked out of my exhausting abusive job today and was planning to empty my bank accounts and just drive off.

i don’t deserve this abuse from my H and his shitty ass past life remnants.

oh and now he doesn’t want to move to his hometown in 5 years like he promised so we can get away from his defective kids.. (they’ll be 18). He is going to stay here longer... I’m really thinking I need to divorce him and die alone.

 

JerseyGirl1970's picture

Drop them from your plan and tell your husband that circumstances have changed and you will no longer be able to cover them.

Give no further explanation. You don't owe them anything.

Best regards

Kes's picture

As you were diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis it gives you a perfect reason (not that you need one) to remove all freeloaders from your plan.  

The moving away is a separate issue - if this plan was something that you and DH agreed upon some time ago, he doesn't have the right to unilaterally say he's not going without discussing it in detail with you. 

I suffered with depression in the past to the degree I was hospitalised - it is often triggered because of life circumstances and maybe your impulse to just go is what you really need to do.  Give it some thought as a real option, it may be the right thing for you.  I spent 24 yrs in a first marriage that left me clinically depressed - it's too long. 

RLZ0073's picture

I was with previous husband for overall 18 years. Hit me, verbally and mentally abused me. Cheated on me. After divorce, came to my home and sexually assaulted me. 

I don’t even want to move to this H’s hometown... I wouldn’t mind just moving somewhere in this state, just anywhere away from his kids.

i hate that my employer makes this ‘theft’ possible and I hate that H doesn’t care. 

His sisters and mom ask me how I can put up with these kids... and I really don’t know.

unfortunately they’re still social media friends with his Ex so this is pretty much the only place I can go. 

I wish I would’ve waited even longer to meet a man with grown up and gone kids like mine when we met...

 

tog redux's picture

Tell DH to reimburse you the $35 as he does the other costs that go to his kids.  I get that this is the straw that broke the camel's back, but it is only $35.

I can see how BM might not have even realized or knew what was going on.

Curious Georgetta's picture

For the expense of having coverage for his kids, the simple solution is to have him reimburse you the additional 35 dollars.

If he pays you promptly every month for the additional coverage cost,it is likely that he will give you the 35 dollars.

It is not something about which he should necessarily care, but it is something for which he should reimburse you.

Once he gives you the 35 dollars, you will have been made whole and you too can forget this issue.

The ex was not trying to "steal " anything from you. She had no control over the policy decision that your insurance carrier put in place.

 

hereiam's picture

Once he gives you the 35 dollars, you will have been made whole and you too can forget this issue.

Oh, for the love of God. It is not really about 35.00 and even if it were, I doubt that would make her "whole".

Livingoutloud's picture

Ask your DH for 35 bucks. If having them on your insurance upsets you, take them off. I am sorry about your health issue 

Gimlet's picture

After reading your other blogs, there is no way I would do anything for people who treated me like this. 

"The older one then proceeded to kick me and DH out of our room (and assinine DH moves his own luggage) and she locks herself in a room to herself. She refuses to eat with the entire family and is a total asshole to everyone"

Then she points at you and tells you to do the dishes after you get back from that nightmare trip??

Your DH is an ineffective parent but you don't have to choose to take this.  Take them off your insurance and let their parents deal with them.  Take care of yourself and your medical needs. 

Something I learned early on and make sure people know it: I don't do favors for assholes.

Merry's picture

Why are you still in the relationship at all? The whole thing sounds awful. 

I’m sorry about your diagnosis. But treatments are many and you can live a full, complete, and happy life.  Get yourself to a good rheumatologist. Your DH is by far much worse than this disease. 

Rags's picture

Divorce does not mean you are going to die alone. In fact, in many cases divorce means that you live an amazing happy life, find an amazing equity life partner who will make the relationship and  you the priority above all else, and exact the ultimate revenge of living well.

If your situation is so untennable that it is putting your health in jeapardy and both you and your DH are unwilling to fix the situation then you are destined to continue to experience what you are experiencing.

So, what are you going to do?  

Make a choice and act on it.

notarelative's picture

You are unhappy. DH is not parenting his children and not setting boundaries with the ex. The skids are feral. It may be time to separate.

But, the insurance award application is not BM's fault. Your employer set it up to be automatically applied this way. BM went to the pharmacy and paid the price she was told to for the prescription. Even if she questioned the price all she would have been told is that's the price for the insurance plan. She had no way of knowing that your reward had been applied.

Get the skid 's dad to reimburse you the $35. 

Swim_Mom's picture

slightly off topic...I'm not a doctor but based on my career know a lot about autoimmune diseases...the advances that have been made in immunology in the last 20 years have changed the whole treatment landscape vs before late 1990's when all you had were sulfa drugs and steroids. Anti-TNF's, IL23's, and JAK1 are disease modifying treatments not only for treating symptoms - they can stop progression. And more Pharma companies have patient rebates. Do online research on treatments you'll see. And get more than one rheumatologist's opinion.

And by the way take the bitches off your insurance. 

RLZ0073's picture

there’s so many websites and social media pages where you read about all these folks suffering and how one’s life can be shortened by 5 to 15 years. It’s scary and the last thing I want to do is the chemo treatment for it.

so I’m just going to eat healthy like I do, walk my 4+ miles a day and stay off meds as long as possible. My job and my free time is very active and it scares me to lose my physical abilities.