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Follow up: rude SD joyous response

RLZ0073's picture

Ok, so I can't frickin believe this. H tells SD that she read my text wrong and that I was already whipping out the cookbook for HER bonus points for school last night. So she comes and falsely apologizes.

then H suggests I cook 2 dishes. WTF?!? No. Just no. All you need is one dish for the class to try. Candies are perfect. Small fast and easy especially when I have to do this on a Monday night.

then SD refuses for the class to try the dish, she just wants to show it and go saying people are mean. I say Polish people love to feed people and we cook with love. Maybe some folks would talk more with you if they like the candy. She flips the flock out.

apparently she then flips out even more when through her blubbering that I was supposed to understand that some kid called her fat... she then got pissed because she said I was supposed to immediately say, 'no you're not fat' (which she isn't). But you know what... not my job... teens do that for each other. It's not my job to be her shrink... 

she then texts her dad and says I'm implying she's fat and now he's pissed at me... I'm so done with this shit. She's very mentally ill, no one is making her take her pills and I'm not taking the brunt of his and her shit.

His kids are the end of this marriage.

maybe she needs to make her own shit then. Look online... ask your mom, ask your dad because I'm too flocking tired to make a project for an ungrateful, psychotic family.

 

Rags's picture

Time to evict her from  your home unless she is on her meds. Period.

She needs to live stream taking her meds each and every day if she wants in the door. Check with her doctors to see if there is a urine test she can take for her particular meds. She pees in a cup on the front step before she comes in the house.

Canceling vacations, weddings, etc.... should never happen for toxic people's behaviors regardless of who they are. Including kids.  This kid's psych issues are just an excuse that needs to be eliminated. Her dad and her BM need to keep their foot up her ass and if they don't you do.  If these kids are write offs for DH's family you need to get on board with the write off.

Direct aggressive confrontation of the bullshit needs to happen.  Each and every time these toxic spawn pull their crap.

RLZ0073's picture

Bi polar, Oppositional defiance disorder doesn't just go away... 

when she walks in and her sister isn't here because they can't stand being in the same bldg together... and she demands that her sister needs to punished. Then texts her d from upstairs saying I said she was fat to start a fight... she also starts fights with her moms bf. She disparages her grandmother for having a child young (none of her business and that's her gramma!)... she'll pop out of her room and start screaming about dinner or needing her sister to be punished.   

She demands a visit to a dietician because she says she wants to lose weight as she's eating a box of Scout cookies by herself. I said you don't need to lose weight but if you want to eat healtheir, all you need is a list of what to eat and what not to eat. She then starts screaming that she needs everything written down and it requires measurements... I give up. When she lied to her dad and texted him from upstairs (while him and I were downstairs) that I said she was fat... makes me thinks she's maybe hearing voices due to her mental illness.

her mental illness is the center of everyone's discomfort... in everyone's home. Even when she goes to her relatives out of state.

ive tried family game night, girls day out, coffee dates, taking them to dinner, dentist appointments, mani pedis... I then disengaged... that didn't work either

Tell me... what more can anyone do? I think everyone related to her is on eggshells 24/ 7 and everyone placates her to avoid her wrath. No one has a set of huevos to start saying no and start forcing her to take her medicine

No one can make progress as she and her demons have taken everyone hostage. 
Period

Rags's picture

I get that emotional and psychological health issues just don't go away.  It is sad that this young woman is terrorizing an entire extended family.  It should not be tolerated.  Her terroristic holding of the entire family hostage has to be ended.

Institutionalization may be the only way she can be forced to get the help she needs and to liberate the family from her terror. Short of locking her away and medicating her into into a slobbering semi-comatose state.... she has to be banished.  IMHO.

ITB2012's picture

I don't think anyone here is trying to tell you it's your fault or you are wrong, but you must be hearing that from somewhere and must be under a lot of stress from a hormonal, mentally unhealthy kid that isn't getting the care she needs from the people who should be giving it.

Is it possible for you to get away for a weekend to take a break and think, see how you feel away from it, and get some distance to gain some clarity on how (or even if) you want to be a part of this situation?

RLZ0073's picture

Yes, I would honestly say I'm at the end of my proverbial rope. I sacrificed my health and my sanity being in this. Even with the physical and mental abuse of my last marriage... this is worse. It blows my mind everytime I remind myself biomom has a masters in psychology and she honestly doesn't care. 

They'll all be gone, him included after the following weekend for 5 days... I used to be sad he's gone. But not anymore. 

I'm dreading going home tonight... we're alone for the weekend... but he's pissed at me because I refused to make 2 dishes for her. Sorry, it's Monday, not our day of possession, and you know what? not my kid, she's not polish and she's only doing this for herself. 

I've already been diagnosed since getting into this disaster with RA. In 2015, my doc believes I had a mini stroke and don't want another. I don't think it's worth dying over this crap...

RLZ0073's picture

I noticed someone flagged me, and you know who you are... as they conveniently edited out their comments. 

I guess I've just given up on trying to vent here as I'm being attacked, being accused of making this up. I was only looking for a space of peace in my life. Where we could share the horrible experiences without being attacked.  

Thanks to the few of you who've given support and advice. 

I'm done with all this. 

Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

 

tog redux's picture

OP - we are happy to give you feedback - are you okay with hearing what YOU can do differently to change this situation? You are the only person you can control.  

Guilfoyle's picture

Get out of there mate. Trust me get out of that house. Who knows what other lies this little life is going to tell and the parent is a piece of shit for letting this happen to you. 

Harry's picture

You totally are right, dealing with a sick child is hard.  SD will never take her meds.  When she is force,  but meds must be taken each day.  It's not going to get better.  She is doing what she wants now 

Guilfoyle's picture

Q