I hate this life
Venting...so sorry. Today has been one of those days. It’s been filled with so many tears and I feel like DH doesn’t even care. Well, he’s shown he hasn’t. It started out with a huge argument this morning. Stupid stuff mind you. One thing that we do not do well at all with is communicating. I’ve had so much building up inside I think I have broken. The argument was so trivial I can’t hardly remember what it was about. What I do remember is that he turned something small into a huge fight. I was crying and told him I was crying because I was hurt because it doesn’t even bother him when we get to that point and he makes me cry. He said something like I always play the victim and turn it around in him. I told him I had to go get in the right kind to actually work and he laughed as I hung up! This evening...well it all revolves around SD. We went to her senior awards at school. He left me alone for a few minutes to go hug some of SD’s old friends that I don’t know. I felt stupid because I’m left standing right by BM and her clan is a family. When we got into the car I asked him if I could tell him something without getting into an argument. I should know that would never happen. I told him that I had anxiety about going to SD’s party that BM is putting on because it’s all BM’s friends and family. She’s made it clear that she really doesn’t want us there but DH insists so we’re going. I just asked him to make sure that he doesn’t get to talking to old friends, you know the ones that him and BM had and leave me at the table for long. He took this as a personal attack. Like how dare I say he would do that. I’m not accusing him. I am just the type of person that if something can be prevented ahead of time I prevent it. I mainly wanted reassurance because I really don’t want to go and I’m dreading this. I know BM flaps her jaws about me. Oh yeah, he’s dumb enough to say why would she talk about you, she really doesn’t know you. A scorned woman she is! He went on to make more stupid comments like that day is not about you, it’s abiuy princess. I told him that it wouldn’t take away from princess if he was making sure I wasn’t feeling isolated. He went on and on about how it’s her day and not mine. I was pissed. I said that the world doesn’t revolve around princess and no matter what he should make sure that his wife is ok and care about my feelings. He said that on that day the world WILL revolve around princess! I tried to explain to him that if princess was having this fear he wouldn’t be discounting it. He said my fear was dumb. He just went on and on and on. Then he says that I need reassurance of some sort every day and it’s ridiculous. I’m so darn mad right now. I always care about his feelings but I’ve cried on and off all day and he acts like a jerk. There are more insensitive things he said but I don’t have enough time in the day to type them.