Pregnant 15-year-old Step-daughter
My husband and I got married in December. He has two daughters, 12 and 15. The oldest child is quite possibly to most dreadful child ever! I know that sounds horrible, but I don't know of any other way to express my feelings. And to make things oh-so-much-better, I just found out this weekend that she is pregnant. She's always been sort of "whorish." I know that sounds bad, too, but I don't have any other ways to say what I am thinking. I remember when I first came across some of her notes and such... especially the list of "People I've Had Sex and Stuff With." When I first met her, so quickly volunteered that she'd had sex with a fella when she was about 13 and that he'd gone to PRISON for statutory rape regarding the incident...even though she admitted it was consensual. When she first asked about birth control, I discussed it with her father and my mothers. They both felt that it was her way of getting a free pass to have sex, so after a couple of tries, I just dropped the subject. Well, I wish I hadn't. She's had this boyfriend for the past 7-8 months. He is 19 and already has a daughter. You'd think that would have said, "No! Get AWAY FROM HIM!"... but it didn't. I, of course, trying to support my husband, allowed the relationship. Boyfriend did a good job with the "I made a mistake when I had a child as a teenager and I've learned my lesson." Well, that was a joke. My husband and step-children have always said I'm too hard on them. I'm the "prison warden" and they are in "prison" and I don't let them do anything.... well, I hope they see now why. Her mother, who is the worst possible role model ever (she has two MORE kids with new boyfriend, who has, like 10 kids all togther...and they both live with his EX-wife and THEIR two kids in a small apartment where everyone sleeps on the sofa or a mattress on the floor....) told me she needed to be put on birth control. Did I listen? NO! I supported my husband and his opinion that she just wanted the free-pass to have sex. I feel sooo stupid, and I am trying SO hard not to say "I told you so..."
What makes this worse is that I never wanted kids of my own. But since I've met my husband, I've been leaning towards changning my mind about that. I've thought that in a couple of years when things settle down and we get into a good rhythm with our bills and can AFFORD a baby, that we might have a child. But now it's like my step-daughter has ruined EVERYTHING! My husband will have a baby calling him "grandpa" before too long, and it's totally insane that he'd have grandchildren OLDER than his own child! I am so ANGRY with her! We can't afford to take care of a baby! She's ruined any chance I may have had to have children of my own! I don't know ANYTHING about having babies, and she expects me to know what to do!!! It's like she's just decided to change my life whether I like it or not! I don't have a choice in this! My husband says the baby's daddy will be the one providing, but that's a joke! I'm going to be stuck taking care of and raising this baby and I know it! I am so angry with her and I'm scared and I'm about to have a nervous breakdown...and I've only known about this for 2 days! What's even worse than that is the fact that I work at DSS..... DSS! My kids aren't supposed to get knocked up when they are 15! People are going to think I'm a horrible person and will question how I can do my job correctly if I can't even raise my own children the right way! I dont feel like I can go to my mom because I will get the "I told you so" from her and I will feel like this is all MY fault! I don't know what to do.... I'm 27 years old and I'm going to be a grandmother before I've ever even had the chance to be a mother....!