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Step-Sons BM and the BS she inflicts on us.

KRCMomma's picture

My husband and I have been married for two years, we dated off and on for 8 years before we got married. During one of the off times DH met and got involved with a woman and they had my step-son. The woman was seriously unstable and it just didn't work out and they split when my step-son was three months old. My DH was awarded custody of his son and his ex got one hour supervised visits once a week while they were going to court. Why did DH get custody? Coz she is crazy..

1.She punched herself in the stomach repeatedly while pregnant with DSS

2.Grabbed a knife and threatened to kill herself in front of a group of kids that were over my MIL house for a Halloween party just because DH had to leave and go to work(they were living with them at that time)

3.Threatened to kill herself by jumping off a two foot bridge that was down the road by my MIL and FIL old house.

4.Tried to stab DH with a wire tester because DH told her that DSS didn't need a bouncer seat yet since he was only 3 weeks old and refused to buy it yet, since he had bills that needed to get paid first. This she flipped out over in Wal-mart argued with him the entire time there, on the way home and continued to scream at him once they arrived home. To which she then began pulling items out of the grocery bags and hurl them at DH and hit DSS with a soup can. The cops were called. She bit a cop/bit DH and was admitted to the Psych ward of the hospital for three days.(she was charged with child abuse as a result of hitting DSS, the charges were later dropped to a CPS investigation after she agreed to get a Psych evaluation, CPS founded the charges of Abuse and that's the first one on her record)

5. After they broke up and while DH was at the court house attaining Temporary Emergency custody she broke into MIL and FIL house and stole all 6 cans of DSS formula. She then told DH the ONLY was he would get it back was if he went back to her. He played along and agreed to let her visit DSS with supervision in his parents house with everyone there. After the visit he had her served with the court papers granting him temporary custody and she flipped out. Slapped DH's niece(who was 11 at the time) coz she was holding DSS and wouldn't let her have the baby. She crumpled the paper up and threw them on the ground and started screming and was escorted off the property by the police.

6. At the first custody hearing she refused to sit in the chair with her lawyer but opted to lay on the floor in the court room and wail and cry. She refused to answer any questions and this was when the one hour supervised visits was ordered as well as a restraining order for DSS and DH.

7. From that point on and until the next court date she called and harassed DH relentlessly. Calling/screaming on the phone to anyone who answered. He taped some of these coversations and played them for the lawyer and let me tell you some of them were like talking to a demonic person. During on of the supervised visits she slipped a note into DSS diaper bag that demanded DH being her all of her clothes that were left behind as well as all her other son's(not DH's) clothes. DH told her that if she wanted her clothes and belongings back that she needed to make an appointment for a family member to retrieve them for her because she was not allowed on his parents property.

8.At the last court date she tried telling the judge that DH and his family had lied about everything and that she had done nothing wrong(even tho DH had several witnesses to the incidents that came to court to testify on his behalf and she couldn't get anyone to come for her sake). That everyone was just out to get her and DH was trying to take her son away from her. DH and his lawyer made the custody agreement and she finally agreed after many outbursts and crying/screaming fits. But once it came to signing it she refused and only after she spoke with her lawyer and was threatened for contempt if she kept acting out did she sign it. DH has full physical custody and they share joint legal custody. She gets 48 hours every two weeks and they alternate holidays. Since this order went into effect there has been several problems with her, her house and her attitude toward us.

When she found out I was back with DH and that we had gotten married she was furious because she knew she would no longer have him to fall back on when her life goes to shit. She would always call him cryingsaying she got thrown out of whatever dump she was living in or that her family had thrown her out. DH tried to help her a few times by finding her a place to live or letting her stay with him. Since then she had tried anything and everything to split us up and is determined to cause stress and drama in our life. We took her back to court because of the way DSS was coming back from her house.

He has come home with lice three times so far.

He comes home covered head to toe in bedbug and flea bites.

He came home with a huge bite to his left eye(we called CPS and the charges were "founded" to be true and it was put in her record.

We've been dealing with the BS for going on four years. DH and I are both sick to death of our son having to go through this every two weeks. We FINALLY get him healed from the sores and rashes and he has to go right back. How many indicated(found true) child abuse/neglect does can someone have on their record before something is done. She now has three that we know of and one from her older son. She starts drama by stalking both my Cafe mom and Face book profiles and then goes back to DH cussing him out and telling him that I have no right being around her son, that I have no right saying I love him or that we're a happy little family because I'm not his mother and I never will be. That I mean nothing to him. Hello? His father and I ARE married. I am here everyday raising that little boy, supporting that little boy, nursing him back to health when he comes home from your house all covered in sores. You only have him for 96 hours a month and you can't even handle that. My husband gives me rights(his words) so that I can help his raise DSS and take care of him. Weather you like it or not I am not going anywhere no matter how hard you try. That little boy is the sweetest, most loving little boy who is happy despite your determination to harm him. He loves me and I never forced him to. I've been raising him since he was three months old. He chooses to call me mommy I never made him. I never claim that I had given birth to him, everyone knows I am his step-mother. But you know what? It takes MORE then just giving birth to be a mother. I'm the one here with him everyday, not you and it's no ones fault but your own. Your life is the way it is because of your actions. You can deny the truth all you want and scream to the world that everyone is treating you badly and that it's all lies. We ALL know the truth.

My Question is WHAT has to happen before something is done to protect him? Does she need to break his arm or something? Who gets to figure out the level of severity of abuse?

We have pictures upon picture of all the bites. Stack after stack of paperwork from ER Dr.s and our peditrition diagnosing him with these bites but nothing seems to be good enough. I fear for his health and mental state when he is with that woman and I'm terrified something serious of going to happen to him.. How many children that have been killed by Bio parents would be alive today if the courts had interseeded BEFORE it got to that point?

on the fence's picture

Poor little boy! I feel so bad for you, too. I had a situation like this with XH being mean to my DS who I was stupid enough to let him adopt! My hands were tied for so long. I used to spend my off weekend just crying and worrying about him.

Rags's picture

Scary story! That boy is lucky to have you and DH.

We dealt with similar though not nearly as severe stuff when my SS-18 was 1-4yo while on visitation with the SpermClan. Bites on his back from his SpermIdiot's GF of the months hell spawn. He was thrown our of a window into bushes by his half sister's older brother by BM#2, diaper rash so bad his rectum was a raw bleeding mess when he returned from visitation, puss filled welts on his butt cheeks because the SpermClan would not change him but once a day, black grunge behind his ears, dirt and grime all over his body because they would not bathe him for days, half inch long finger and toe nails when he would return from 5wk summer visitation, etc, etc, etc, etc....

And the idiot bottom 10%er family law judge would do nothing. At the end of one of our emergency hearings he even commented that "any child would be lucky to have the love and support of this family". Hell, the Manson family would likely have been more caring than the SpermClan is.

Hang in there though; my SS learned that his SpermClan are all worthless P'sOS. Kids are smart and know who their true family and parents are. The only reason our son (my SS) visited his SpermIdiot and SpermClan for the last 4or5 years of visitation was to give his three younger also out-of-wedlock half sibs a break from the SpermIdiot and hag from hell SpermGrandMa.

My father knows who is father is ..... and it is not the SpermIdiot.

Your SS will figure it out also.

Hang in there.

momof4ky's picture

i have that kind of issue with my step son. his mother is a pos, we have started documenting and taking pictures and taking him to 3rd party ppl to be looked over as soon as we pick him up so that when we go to cps we have undeniable proof that he isn't being cared for also we have retained a very good lawyer so if cps wont help we can go another rout. hang in there and pray for your step child, i will.