Feeling fed up
I came into this relationship with my now husband a few years ago. I had 1 son from a previous relationship and he had 1 son from a previous relationship. My DH and DSS was living with his parents and DSS mother was not really in the picture, here and there! A year later, we had our first child together and I moved out of state due to some family issues. A few months later, we bought a house together and we found out we were having our 2nd child together. From the moment DH mother knew we were serious, she felt threatened, feeling I was going to take her son and first grandson away. From the beginning, she's been trying to tear us apart. Anyways, now that we've been living together for a couple of years, things have been really trying for me. I am now a stay at home mom with all 4 of the kids. DH first son is the oldest and he is treated differently than my first son. He is treated differently by DH and MIL. When she watches them on the weekend, she always have a problem with just my first son. She gets so dramatic about what he did and oh she couldn't handle it, he's only 4. She goes on vacation and only takes DSS. She comes to spend the weekend with us and takes DSS someplace just the 2 of them. DH has no problem disciplining my DS but never disciplines his DS. MIL even told me that she treats my son differently and that I bet not do the same to DSS out of spite. She comes over and babies DSS and allows him to get away with things that they know we don't allow in our house. DH doesn't say anything, just make excuses. I can't even discipline DSS because it won't hold with DH so I have given up. I still do for him as I would my own but when it comes to that, I leave it alone. My DS even feels he's being treated differently and asks me why! DH had the nerve to tell me last night that since I don't discipline DSS, why does he need to call me mom, he said I don't care about him. I never get for mines and not him. I spend the same amount of time with him than I do with my own. I never told him to call me mom. Since his mom is not in his life and hasn't been in almost 4 years, he called me mom. I can't stand to see this happening and no matter what I say to them, things don't change. DSS even plays on getting his way,if I tell him no or discipline him, he will start fake crying and call his grandma to tell her what happened, then she tries to tell me what I should do in my household. I don't think this is going to work. The older he gets, the worse it is going to get and I can no longer stand my child feeling this way! Any advice?? Thank you all for your time!