Oh, The Weekend!
The dreaded weekend! We all wonder when the kids will leave, if they will be gone, etc. depending on our situations. I've heard no word on SheSloth going to BM's, and it is rather depressing to think she will be around the house this weekend. One can hope that if she is home, DH will make her clean her room and do her laundry, but I'm not holding my breath. It would probably be a weekend of "come out and watch TV with us" so she can sit on the couch, hiding behind her blanket, on her phone texting with the flavor of the month!
I do take pleasure in having locked down her phone during school hours, and that DH is actually not fighting me on it. Going to be a very long school day for SheSloth today since she cannot text in class. Of course, that doesn't top her from getting on the school's wifi and using Kik to text, but at least she knows I still have some control. She knows it wasn't dear daddy who locked down her phone. She probably thinks I'm a total b***h right now, but I really don't care!
We again had the drama last night over the trash. She took the trash from the house out to the can. I get home, and tell DH that she AGAIN failed to take the can to the curb. When DH calls out SheSloth to do it, it is the whole huffing...like how dare you ask me to do anything! Then, the other reality comes to me...cold weather means that SheSloth is back to wearing her Uggs that she sweet talked someone into buying her for Christmas last year (not us...but someone on BM's side). Anyone who has a teenaged girl with a pair of these Uggs KNOWS that it seems virtually impossible for a teenaged girl to pick her feet up off the floor while wearing these things! One thing that gets on my nerves more than anything is the dragging of feet! Last night I wanted to rip those things off of her feet and burn them! (For those who don't know what Uggs are...think about your slippers or house shoes, then turn those into a pair of boots...they are basically a slipper-boot that all the girls think are the rage to wear out of the house, and they are not cheap.)
I HATE UGGS!!!!! They are way
I HATE UGGS!!!!! They are way over priced. SD3 is coming over this weekend. She has going through her nasty attitude and just down right mean stage. Every weekend is so awful. I seriously think she is the unhappiest toddler on the face of the earth. She is constantly crying.
Had a problem with that when
Had a problem with that when SheSloth was younger, but I blame BM for that. Woman would call not an hour after we got home with SheSloth..."You are my favorite! Your mommy misses you SOOOOOOO much!" That would start it off! The girl would cry all weekend that she wanted to go home, would fake tummy aches, etc. DH was lucky if he even got the girl once a month, because BM would always have some excuse...SheSloth wasn't feeling well, had a birthday party to go to, just flat out didn't want to come, etc.
Child hit the teen years, and she is terrible! Between the attitude, and getting caught skipping school and smoking pot as young as 13, BM couldn't handle her any more! Shipped her to us for 6 months, only to demand her back (missed that child support money). 6 months later, SheSloth was getting in trouble for pot and skipping again, so back to us, and she has been with us the last year and a half....here reluctantly obviously! She seems to make it her goal to make our lives hell, and now that BS19 is off at college, she's gone into this "I'm the only child you MUST pay attention to me...but only when I want you to" phase. What this means is that she will hide in her room, but when she enters the room, you better drop what you are doing and acknowledge her in a positive way. You must also clean up after her, attend any and all things that she is in, and buy whatever she wants. If you don't, she will make sure that you feel her wrath! At least, that is what is going through her mind, I'm sure...but she is finding out quickly that I don't play her game, oh, and dear daddy is a man after all that has certain manly needs, so he is not going to side with her EVERY time...if you know what I mean.
Thank goodness BM doesn't
Thank goodness BM doesn't call. If she did, I don't think FDH would answer. That would make this all so much harder. SD walks in the door and with-in 10 min she howling to go back to her moms. It's not getting any better, it's getting much worse. Every weekend you have to fight her on everything, to eat, to bathe, to change clothes, I mean everything. Past two weekends, she has pushed BS and has been mean to him. At dinner she says, "FTMandSM you make the most disgusting stuff." "I never want to eat your disgusting stuff." I know she's three but damn, how does one learn to be so mean. FDH doesn't put up with her nonsense. He puts her in time out, takes toys away, doesn't do fun things, turns off the TV if she's watching it, makes her play in her room. We are running out of things to do.
BM told us that her parents, who she lives with, will take SD out of time out when BM puts her there. They think BM is being too hard on SD, at least that is what we were told. Not really sure if it's true or not. SD doesn't have consistency in her life and it's fucking her up. She is just like her mom and will always be.
It has been a long time since
It has been a long time since I had toddlers....do puppies count?
Maybe try more positive reinforcement and rewards. Catch her being good, even briefly and praise her. Enlist her help in caring for Bs, just getting you things for him, being the big sister.
Find her currency and try to flip it from always punishing to more distraction from the bad behavior and praise for good.
She is only three. Maybe your home with DH can be the consistency she needs to not turn out like BM. Even said, she is part of BM and will always have that. Having a three year old play alone in their room seems a bit young. Time out in room if she is screaming, yes.
My friend who is such a patient and consistent mom with her three kids used to phrase it like this, in a very soft voice....' Child's name, do you need some time to gather yourself together? Child crying and carrying on....' Alright then, go along to your room until you can collect yourself'. The problem was not with the child crying, it was with the child throwing a fit and expecting the world to stop to soothe him. So in being sent to soothe himself it worked out for teaching him that he was not the center of the universe. Something a lot of the skids could learn for sure.
Anyway....not trying to hijack OP....just wanted to suggest with very young kids, maybe there is hope that some research into different methods may yield. Or use some puppy training tactics...they may work too!
Oh, it works! BD23 was really
Oh, it works! BD23 was really bad about having fits when she was really little. I would pick her up, place her in her room, close the door, and walk back to the living room. After about 5 minutes, she would be asleep (because what she really needed was a nap) or she would re-emerge much more calm saying she was ready to behave. Didn't take her long to realize that mom was not going to entertain her fits, and it was a very short phase of her life.
i love my Uggs! I have 2
i love my Uggs! I have 2 pair! I dont scuff my feet tho. us new englanders need em to keep warm!
yea, i am basically at the point where 50% of the weekends are a waste because we have to deal with SD14. even tho she never sleeps over, its always in question up until the 11th hour. we cant plan anything, cant go anywhere, and she just lazes around the house on her damn electronics. she has wasted so many beautiful days being inside.
i hate when a family event gets scheduled on a non-weekend because then we get her extra. sucks!
These kids waste oh so much
These kids waste oh so much time on electronics!!! My bios were always the outdoor types...thank goodness! Even now in college...the reason BS19 is so involved in student activities is because he can't sit still...he can't sit inside all day! Kickball, bubblesoccer...if there is something going on in the yard...even if it is as silly as flag football...he is out there doing it because it gets him outside moving!
Uggs and Crocs!!! I swear a
Uggs and Crocs!!! I swear a BM invented them just so she could send the skid over wearing shoes that make a noise that just grates on your every damn nerve!!
I don't know why, but they
I don't know why, but they ALL do it! Go to the mall in winter, all you hear are feet grating on the carpet. It isn't like they are even heavy boots! My husband's Doc's and my "combat" boots are way heavier, and we don't drag our feet!
Crocs are terrible!! They
Crocs are terrible!! They hold bacteria, at least that's what "they" say.
SD12 has Crocs but no Uggs
SD12 has Crocs but no Uggs yet. It's probably because BM likes to keep her at about 4 years younger than her actual age. Easier to control that way. I'm sure the Uggs will be coming soon.
LOL...to add salt to
LOL...to add salt to injury...today I'm coloring my hair! Way overdue...my roots are showing bad. But every time I touch up my color, SheSloth starts bugging that she wants to dye her hair again. Nope! Ain't happening! When I bought my color a few weeks ago, DH asked if I got enough to do SheSloth's hair, and I told him, "I only colored it the last time to fix all the crap she did to it because she was heading back to school, and she would have gotten in trouble for the mess she had created over the summer! The agreement was that she would leave it alone! I don't care if she liked the darker color better than her natural, and now it isn't as dark and she isn't happy...it is now back to her natural! I had to go darker because she bleached her freakin' hair, and for it to be the right color by the time her roots came in through natural fading. I am NOT dying her hair any more!" That doesn't stop her from trying though! I'm not her hair stylist! He wants to allow her to keep dying her hair, maybe he should learn how to do hair dye!
What the girl needs is a serious hair cut...and by serious, I mean about 6+ inches cut off...which she would not be happy about, but that is how fried her hair is!
So, yeah...my hair is sure to send her moping around all weekend! She will go on and on about how she HATE her hair, and she NEEDS to color it.
Uggs and Crocs just piss off
Looks like SheSloth is here
Looks like SheSloth is here for the weekend. Ugh!
Did my usual Saturday morning grocery shopping. When I get home, DH calls out SheSloth to help. I tell him I prefer she didn't...too late! Attitude, dragging feet, standing in the pantry in my way griping that she doesn't know where the one can she grabbed goes. Finally told her to just go sit down out of my way! Of course, she didn't like this, either!
She's now holed up in her room again. Hoping she stays there, as we have no plans to go out of the house today! I may go to the gym, but that is it! I doubt she is cleaning...no laundry is going. I'm not saying a word...seeing how long she thinks she can actually go without washing. We are going on 3 months now!
Well, she didn't stay in her
Well, she didn't stay in her room! DH just had to call her out to watch TV! Of course, she is just sitting there on her stupid phone not even looking at the TV or talking to DH.
I've been busy the last few weekends...work, band competition (that I really didn't want to go to), and F1...so I had some house work to catch up on. We all know in this house, if I don't do it, it doesn't get done! I did my lunch prep for the week and cleaned the kitchen. I then cleaned up the animals' rooms (swept up the litter in the wash room because the cats get kick crazy, and the dogs wore a hole in one of their beds and had stuffing everywhere). Then came the vacuuming. I did the TV room last, because I work from the end of the house I keep the vacuum to the other. When I get to the TV room, I'm trying to vacuum the corner where SheSloth always sits. There is a power strip that DH and SheSloth use for their electronics. I'm struggling with the vacuum and the cords, as to not catch any and shred them. SheSloth is sitting there...while one of these cords is to the phone that is in her hand! DH is busy picking up his shoes and laptop bag for when I get to that side of the couch. SheSloth looks right at me, as if she is annoyed by my vacuuming and jiggling of her cord. I say, "Oh...don't bother to help or anything" in a really curt tone! DH gives her a look. With as much attitude as she could muster, SheSloth says, "What?! She didn't ask for help!!" DH tells her, "She shouldn't have to!!! It's YOUR cord! Did she have to ask me to move my stuff?"
I wanted to smack her...I really did!
So now she is laying over there...taking up half the couch. She has been on her back all day! Seriously...the girl does not know how to sit up. I often wonder how she gets through the school day.
Normal Sunday crap! SheSloth
Normal Sunday crap! SheSloth was not ready again when it was time to leave. She showered last night, so she didn't have that to worry about. In an hour, all she managed to do was brush teeth and hair, and get dressed! She didn't even do makeup! She did that at church. I headed to the car before she came out, and made it clear when she got to the car, I'm tired of waiting on her all the time.
At church, planted myself on the front row, and she went to sit next to MIL! WIN!