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Grocery Store

Cover1W's picture

You want to know what happened with SD13.5 this weekend?

We went to the grocery store before I dropped her off at the performance hall.  We walk into store, I grab one of those small carts, and tell her, "Hey, grab a cart for yourself, go ahead and get what you want for snacks and things."  Note I had no limit.  Just go get what you want.

You would have thought I had threatened to throw her off a cliff!  "Whyyyyyy do I have tooooo?  It's toooooo hard!  But, but whyyyyyyy?  The cart is too hard to pushhhhhhh."  Then she rammed that sucker right into me.  Oh, I grabbed it, shoved it back and said, "Don't you DARE do that again. I am telling you to do this because your dad and I don't know what you want to eat and you won't write things down on the grocery list at home, so go get stuff." She's almost in tears now.  Please be aware she HAS SHOPPED GLEEFULLY for herself before!  This is new behavior!

She stuck to me like freaking glue, I ignored her totally until she finally realized I was not going to help. She got a total of three things...three apples, a very small amount of dried kiwi and a bag of pretzels.  Well, good! 

I told DH what happened and he was like, "But she's done it before!?" Yes, exactly.

We are seeing some regression in her independence lately; refusing to contact friends for get togethers, refusing to use her phone (except to call BM), refusing to make decisions on simple things like "library or park" (not indecision, but refusing), etc.

Just J's picture

And that would be my last trip to the grocery store with her ever. No freakin way would I put up with that kind of heinous behavior! Let your DH do it, or let her go without snacks, she won’t die.

sunshinex's picture

Holy hell, that's insane. First of all, I wish someone would give me a small cart and let me fill it with snacks without paying lol 


simifan's picture

Kudos to you, I would have shoved that cart right back at her and sent her whinny ass to the car. She obviously didn't want anything. 

Jcksjj's picture

Omg. Seriously wow. I stopped taking SD to the grocery store for a very long time (still rarely do) after a trip where she refused to stop running up and down the aisles and wouldnt stop ramming the cart into things whenever I turned around to grab something off the shelf. She ended up ramming the cart into ODS and hurt him and then starting bawling louder than him about it to take the attention off him and try to guilt trip me so she didnt get in trouble. I was done after that and she was only 6. A 13 year old doing that is mindblowing. And after you tell her to pick out whatever she wants? What a brat.

Cover1W's picture

Yes you all! Last time she ever goes to the store with me. Done. I keep adding to the disengaging from her....

Left out mama's picture

Wow. Her behavior is 100% not okay.... but this seems to be new behavior from the sounds of it.... I would be more concerned with the trigger. It sounds like something is making her regress and lose confidence. Has there been a change in the relationship with her BM? Maybe somethings she feels guilty or embarrassed about? Or maybe she’s afraid of saying what is bothering her for fear of offending someone she loves? 

Something is causing her regression and I would want to try and solve that issue before it gets worse. Her behavior is a a symptom.

Cover1W's picture

DH and I agree - what's happening is PAS.  This behavoir accelerated after the past Memorial Day weekend when she spent a lot of time with BM, OSD (who is PAS'd), and BM's family. 

DH refused to read about PAS and what to do to counteract it, so I have stepped WAYYYYY back.