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Can I tell my SS he can't go with us places?

Stepmom in Maryland's picture

My stepson will ask to go places with us.  The ONLY reason that he asks to go places with us is because he always asks to get something. 

Here are examples:

Going to Target - "Oh, I want to go".  Get to Target.  "I'm going to go look at the games, you'll buy me this right"?  NO, I'm not buying anything other than what I came for.  *throws fit*

Going to grocery store - "Oh, I want to go"  Get to grocery store and he starts just putting things in the cart.  Without asking.  I take them out. *throws fit*

DH and I want to go out to dinner - "Oh, I want to go"  We're going to XYZ restaurant.  "I don't want to go there".  We go where we want to go any way.  SS orders dinner, eats about a bite and then still wants dessert.  We say: "You didn't eat your dinner.  Waste of money. Not getting dessert"  *throws fit*

I just don't want for him to go with us any where any more.  He is spoiled, self entitled and only thinks about himself.  Is it wrong for me to say that he can't go and exclude him from activities that his father and I do?   I don't want him around any more.  Am I so wrong?

Stepson is 15.  


justmakingthebest's picture

Does SS live with you full time? If not I would just limit the places I *go* when he is around. If he does, then yes, start limiting him going with you. Or start going yourself and leaving DH behind to deal with his bratty kid.

Dontfeedthetrolls's picture

I think if it's "date night" he can stay at home. When it comes to the stores though I'd say your bigger issue is that you've allowed the entitled behavior. Tell him no when he asks and if he continues there are consqueneses. The kids in my life are much younger but if they did that crap they would lose their TV / Games for atleast the day.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

Before you go out the door, say "sure but you're not getting anything. If you want to get out of the house, you're welcome on the ride." Set the ground rules so he knows there will be no reward other than the joy of your company.

Merry's picture

15? Good golly. I was thinking maybe 6.

What does DH do when the fit unsues? Sounds like he needs to step up consequences for acting like a jackass.

Ladystark's picture

HAHAH  YOU GOT ME!*ROFL*  15- ya its cool to say no- and if he wants to go to dinner get extra smoochie!!

notasm3's picture

Just say no.  Of course you don't have to take a 15 year old ahole who "throws a fit" when he can't get everything he wants.  And tell him why.  It's called a consequence.

Chmmy's picture

He's 15? I thought you were talking about an 8 yr old.

I guess you didnt hear that kids get something everywhere you go. I saw this as a nanny, as a  teacher and with the skids

 I never thought that being a poor single mom was such a great thing. My kids knew we were only buying sale items and what we need + an occasional treat. If we went to the zoo that was the treat, not something from the gift shop. We werent poverty poor but we were on a budget for sure.

Aniki's picture

15yo throwing fits because he doesn't get his way?? BS. What is his father doing when he acts like this? If I were you, I'd walk away when SS has his meltdowns. But Daddeeeee needs to straighten him out.

somethingwicked's picture

More like  2 and a terrible one at that.

Let 's look into your future ~

I see an unemployed  30 something year old stinky man baby living in the basement ,vaping and playing on line poker 24/7.

His father better kick him in the ass and shut this baby shit down

ESMOD's picture

I am assuming that all of these trips are ones with your DH.. because absolutely, if you are going on your own to TARGET.. you can tell him that you are going for a very quick and specific item and don't have time to bring someone around.

If this is happening when you go places with your DH.. what is the result.. is he giving in to the kid?  If have a DH problem because he CREATED this dynamic where the kid is expecting to get what he wants. 

It is going to be a tough sell to exclude his kid IMHO

Wrong Way Diva's picture

Yes, grab your wallet!  

Actually, it is a great lesson to teach kids and steps about earning money and budgeting.   He wants something at Target?  Oh cool, do xyz and save the money up and you can have it!   

sunshinex's picture

I don't even take my 7 year old stepdaughter most places I go and she's well-behaved. If she asks when I'm getting ready to go, I just say "Sorry SD, I'm going alone." My target trips are for relaxing with starbucks and browsing lol

Step-girlfriend's picture

Same! I don't take skids with me when I go to the store, almost ever. Because I KNOW they will ask for crap. They've probably come to the store with me 3 times in 3 years, and every time they ask for crap I tell them no. But there are no temper tantrums, and they are 9 and 12! I too thought your SS was 6. 15?!?

Yeah, time to tell him he can't come, or if he does come, tell him he will not be getting anything, and if he throws a fit there will be consequences.

I seriously cannot get over that he's 15 and acting like this. I would be so embarrassed if I were your DH!

Glassslipper's picture

When i read your post I thought you were talking about a 6 or maybe 8 year old, but 15! leave him home and have him empty the dishwasher and fold the towels in the dryer while your gone! SMH!