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Give away XBox?

Stepmom in Maryland's picture

Is it going too far to actually GIVE AWAY my SS X-Box? 

Kid is ungrateful. Leaves dishes, doesn’t do what he is asked to do. DH and I have had it. X-Box has been taken away numerous times before. Is it going too far to actually give it away to make a point/statement? 

Comments

tog redux's picture

Why not make him earn Xbox time - complete this list of chores for the week and you can play on the weekends for X hours.

SonOfABrisketMaker's picture

its going too far. 

Survivingstephell's picture

I have seen video of parents taking a sledgehammer to them.  I know of a former SM on this board that did that to the game system in her house.  

I say sell it and use that money to pay for a maid.  

You have a tough nut on your hand.  

Lndsy747's picture

Agree with making him earn time and using it as a reward rather than a punishment. If that doesn't work though get rid of it. 

My thought/concern though is that if it's taken away and behavior hasn't changed then will getting rid of an Xbox the skid isn't allowed to use really even a punishment. Or is he being given it back prematurely and that's why it's not been effective on changing behavior?

Harry's picture

Does dishes, cleans his room, do dishes after diner.  What ever.  You check, he gets two hours of X Box. If not done he gets 0 hours.  All done or 0 hours 

Stepmom in Maryland's picture

We have tried EVERYTHING we can think of.  We have taken the Xbox away and used it as reward. We have taken it away for six months. We have taken EVERYTHING out of his room except for bed and light. We have even made him eat off of just paper plates and paper cups and have put locks on our cabinets.   NOTHING works with this lazy ass.  We have taken his door off of his room.  We have told him NO electronics and he has gone into OUR bedroom, has found the key to the safe and has taken the computer out.   We are SICK of this! We are thinking of investing in an indoor security camera for the house and making him get a weekend job. Who cares if he is only 15! 

Stepmom in Maryland's picture

Seriously, I just want to take the bowl of popcorn, the dry Mac and cheese, the left over tai food and just dump it out all over his bed. Make the lazy ass clean it up!   

tog redux's picture

Does this kid have a therapist? Find a good one that will work with both of you on how to manage him at home.

Stepmom in Maryland's picture

That has been a topic for discussion too.  I am really growing to *hate* this kid. (I know hate is a very strong word)

beebeel's picture

Does he still have a phone? My skids didn't care if we confiscated every other electronic device for months, as long as they had their third hands...er phones. 

Stepmom in Maryland's picture

He does have a phone.  I have 'suspended' his device and have turned off his data usage.  Too bad so sad!  

shamds's picture

His things back but he has refused to do anything then sell the xbox. He doesn’t get anything back till he earns the right to it so keep doors off the hinges, only a bed and light, i’d be tempted to remove bedframe, have a mattress on the floor.

he’s trying to play you to see how far he can push it.  

Siemprematahari's picture

I don't think getting rid or giving away the Xbox is harsh at all, since you've tried all other avenues and it hasn't worked. He's been without it for a good amount of time so why not just get rid of it all together. It also reduces one less thing to stress about.

I do recommend seeking some form of therapy to help manage on how to deal with him.

STaround's picture

IMHO, it is more time consuming, at first, to teach kid to do chores, than just do them your self.  Some people take the easy way out.  Is dad consistent?  That to me is very important.  Once you let kid slide, many will try to get away with stuff.  I think that there should be a family meeting where everyone is informed of chores and timing. I would not get rid of the game, but I would limit time.  If this kid is not doing chores, then there is no way he should have the box.  

Survivingstephell's picture

Yeah, I have to wonder about consistency too.  It seems that the long list of punishments that don't work brings into question how those punishments were applied and how long they were given to work.  

Google Total Transformation.  I used it in the beginning of blended life.  Then BM saw how well I did with 7 kids and sabtoaged it all.  

Stepmom in Maryland's picture

This kid right now, has NOTHING. We have taken the Xbox, his Wii, his computer, the remote and power cord to the 70" TV downstairs and we have installed indoor cameras.  I have also suspended his iPhone.  Too bad so sad!  This kid was made to clean up his room and the rest of the house.  I was evil and turned all of the bowls of food upside down on his bed so that when he lifted them up - guess what - all the food (Caramel corn, popcorn, dried mac and cheese, noodles, etc) all fell out onto the bed.  He has NOTHING!  He was also told that he is not going to get his Learners Permit until he can show some maturity.  If he can't keep his life in order and doesn't respect us, then he is not mature enough to be behind the wheel of a car.   I am really growing to hate this kid. 

ESMOD's picture

It is time for YOU to take a step back from this.  You are too emotionally invested and I have a feeling it has become a mental game of chicken for him... a staring contest.. and the more you do stuff.. the more he is bound and determined to show that he doesn't care.

Your husband needs to step up and deal with his son. I would cease doing anything for or about this boy... your husband can be a dad..  and the bowls that are dirty etc.. maybe put them on  your husband's side of the bed?  when HE is forced to deal with it.. maybe he will get it straight. 

And... you don't get rid of the kid's stuff.. if anyone decides that is needed.. it should be his father.

If your husband isn't taking this all seriously enough.. maybe it's time for him to experience the reality of his child more directly.. maybe even move out for a while to let the two of them figure out how he is going to get this all straight.

Stepmom in Maryland's picture

This was a mutual decision made by his father and myself.  WE made the decisions together.  Dad is as fed up with this kid, if not more so, than I am.