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What would you do in this case?

LevinaFia23's picture

First thank you for responding to my other posts I really appreciate it


Please ask anything if it may not make sense. I'm typing a bit quick. Bm is reported and diagnosed with multiple mental issues from teen to recent as she's lost custody of her kids 2 yrs ago due to one of her kids passing in her care.


I'm basically wondering if anyone has kept their child from the unstable parent without an emergency order or court modification. The dads have gotten custody temporarily by the county. It has been official for dh son, ss9 as of last year. During the temp time there was 0 exchange of ss. Ever since last yr she's had eow.


Ss came to me showing his bleeding bruise. I ask him what happened, this was aftet school. He said this bruise was reopened from at his mom's house this past weekend. He said it reopened at recess. I won't get into details as multiple stories were told and I don't believe we got a complete accurate story in the end. BUT a knife was mentioned on the last story. This made dh very nervous. We found out a month ago she had a dui court case and we don't know what was ordered but this past weekend for the first time she was driving with a new car tag. It's been a long time since she's been driving in general. Bc we don't know the consequence and dh didn't expect her to be driving he let it go as we need proof to see what happened. This person is never truthful and it's rubbed on ss as bm used to have mult. Stories in the past for any of his injuries and now he's doing it.


Dh asked her what happened she did a whole back and forth saying a generic story, one that didn't match ss, she blamed dh for him lying some how. It was a mess. Custody with her has been official since 2017 and so sadly we are very used to her lies but eventually ss tells us some sort of truth that makes sense. Him mentioning a knife matched the bruise unlike the other stories they both made up.


Dh tells her he's not returning her bc he can't ever get a straight story especially anytime it comes to him getting hurt. Safety is a huge priority as we know for a fact she's abusive. She was abusive to dh when they were together before ss and it's why he left. Also with the endless injuries ss gets over there with no clear answer over the years. He doesn't wanna wait for the worse to happen to ss. She also didn't seem concerned. The time ss was with us on temp standards there was no exchange and she did nothing about it. It lasted 10mts. Only reason she got any custody was bc we were switching counties and needed permanency to fully transfer school, medical etc records we hired a lawyer and were sure it'd go thru. It doesn't seem she should have gotten any overnight tbh.


Another dad with bm will have custodycourt next month and he only wants supervised visits also. Idk how that'll work out. But she seems to get away with everything. Anyways with this person not financially stable or mentally stable we don't see her fighting dh. In the texts she didn't respond when he said ss was taught to lie by her and that he's not returning him bc she can't seem to share any vital issues when asked. Before then she said calls were okay in a way. That's all she had for 9mts before.


What would you do in this situation? Knowing this person most likely won't fight it is why dh wants to do this but mainly ss safety is at risk everyrime he goes there and no one seems to give a crap. His mom has past abuse, mentally unstable, she's been deemed unfit to lose custody of all her kids and the tragedy that's "unknown" but the records show shes very seemingly guilty much matching evidence. In this case bc court won't see this...he wants to take matters in his own hands esp that he's primary and got a lawyer etc to protect ss.


1dad5kids's picture

You could always contact CPS for a welfare check. Might help out the other kids too. At the very least the investigation would back up your reasoning if she did decide to fight it in court. 

LevinaFia23's picture

I may have confused things. Dh has primary custody as of last year and he's with us right now. Dh finding out that ss is bruised since this past weekend and BM nor SS giving a clear story makes him want to no longer send ss back due to her past and current behaviors mentioned. He basically wants to completely stop eow and keep him for safety.

If we called welfare check on her now she doesn't have any of her kids right now. Or you meant for next time? 

1dad5kids's picture

You can still call cps so that they investigate, just because the child isn't physically there doesn't mean you can't call in. Say you're concerned about sending the child back. 

LevinaFia23's picture

Oh that's good to know thank you. Ill.let dh know. I thought the child had to be there. Good to know.

Rumplestiltskin's picture

If what you are looking to do is stop SS from going to her EOW, and he came back from her house with mysterious injuries, i would take photos of the injuries and file a CPS report. By the time they get around to coming, the injury might be healed. Also contact your lawyer and see what needs to be done to stop SS from going to her house unsupervised. A kid died, if i'm not mistaken, right? Do everything in your power to legally protect SS. 

LevinaFia23's picture

We don't have the lawyer now I definitely ended the post incomplete sorry about that. But I meant we got the lawyer to switch custody last year for his safety. Just driving the point how serious this is. Our lawyer has since retired and we were one of his last cases. He was amazing.

Idk what grounds we have now but you're right there's no harm to get this updated. I wasn't sure if the injury was "bad enough" as the previous ones were very bad to where the hospital has called cps and the police has called cps before on her and  those were just 2 of the many. It's so strange how she got any overnights last year with so much evidence against her.

Hm you may be right this may be a chance. I guess we waited so long and was assured only supervised last year and it kinda did a blow.since she still ended up with weekends. We've been wondering what in the world does it take at this point??? I mean really a child passing with her being the only witness wasn't enough.. infuriating. That's how you know the county is corrupt.

Dh was wondering if we could move the case to our county since he's now primarily living with us. That may be the first route. We have pictures and so we should look into the welfare check. We called for welfare check before but we haven't ever used their paperwork. Thank you both for your help.

notsurehowtodeal's picture

If you honestly think the child will be in danger if he goes for visitation, then don't let him go - but immediately file for an emergency hearing. If he is with you now, and is not supposed to go until next weekend, then DH should go to court first thing and file for an emergency hearing. He should also contact CPS and make a report about the injury.

Didn't your previous lawyer pass his cases on to another attorney? If not, your DH needs a new attorney as this is going to be an on-going issue.

Thumper's picture

What I would do V what is required to do, is often two different things


Facts we know, there is a court order that reflects  bm has eow, YOU CAN NOT unilaterally change that.  Meaning dh can NOT keep ss from visitation IF bm wants it. IF he keeps ss, bm could tell a Judge dh is refusing her access. What a mess that would be. 

 DH is required to have SS ready to go.  BM is not required to exercise her visitation. 

DH has time on his side,  ss next visit is NOT until two Fridays from today, correct? So,  either DH files his own motion in court for emergency hearing OR call dh's lawyer to do it. 

What is the reason no one has reported injuries to police OR cps?
















Rags's picture

Bruises do not bleed externally. They are not cuts, they are not abrasions. They are ruptured blood vessels under the skin.

So, this situation is immediately suspect IMHO.  Then hter eis a knife mentioned. With the history you chared, I would have CPS all of BM line stink on the shit that she is.

As for child killer BM and hand off of COd visitation.   To avoid violating the CO, i would file an RO/PO to keep the kid away from the child killer whack job BM.

If one Judge orders the RO/PO, that should provide some protection of consequences for not complying with the visitation CO of another Judge.  Logically, in my legal layman's mind anyway, an RO/PO trumps a visitation order.

Attorneys?  How would this likely work?

LevinaFia23's picture

Thank you all for your responses we really appreciate it alot. I have to respond to everything. I really want to understand. Okay maybe the lawyer part is what is causing the issue. For 9 yrs we have been filing court orders on BM never the other way around. She is a single mom of 3 kids whom she has no primary custody of directly bc if that child investigation with her recent baby. 


I guess I'm thinking out loud, but if we currently don't have money for a lawyer and we currently have primary custody, why make this easy for her? Anytime we have filed and gotten a lawyer the multiple times our main goal was to get primary custody bc that seems to be the only way to truly protect ss. Once bm lost custody and had dss take the kids to their respective dads that temp order allowed the dads to basically move on from there however they'd like. Dh got a lawyer to switch things permanently from now custodial parent to primary and that went through BUT with that county system being extremely corrupt knowing how violent and unfit the mother is they still give her some type of overnight visitation when any other judge would've seen half of her past records and only gave supervised visitation. That was a huge blow to trusting the system. Fortunately dh was awarded primary but ss is still unsafe. Of course other cases ended this way I'm sure but it only takes one death or even her endless past antics prior to know this woman is completely unhinged.

So if we had the money the attorney route makes sense but dealing with this person esp with this case constantly in her county it seems once again we'd be fighting but this time for what? Only thing left is supervised visits and the judges there don't believe in that. So it's like keep ss physically until she figures out how to file. We don't think she will file for 2 main reasons. She doesn't know the law at all and she doesn't have money. Anything can happen, she may get help and money but on the physical aspect. This person currently has a dui with her 30 day revoked license and we found this info online and she's pending a court date this month for it. It's just ridiculous at this point. I'm sharing all of this bc tomorrow it is her scheduled weekend and she's now asking for him to join her some upcoming event.

Dh reminded her he's not sending ss bc she's not disclosing what happened which makes a red flag to dh knowing she's always been a danger. It just makes sense to hold ss until bm figures out she has to file or nothings happening.

I agree with this comment! This idea makes sense. I haven't checked the site in a bit bc I wasn't sure what to do other than getting a lawyer. Dh is truly worried every weekend ss is there esp with her now having a current dui. He hasn't confronted her on this yet bc she hadn't told him. It may not be necessary we just mainly want to make sure ss is safe and we kept ss during the temp order 100% for 10months. He's primary I'm just not sure what else he'd need to fight in court in that county.


Also bc ss lives with us it can be transferred to iur County? Anyone dealt with this before? May make a new thread on that if helps others.

LevinaFia23's picture

Also one of the other dads is fighting for permanent primary custody 2 yrs after the temp order...for 2 yrs he's kept his daughter away from her...she hadn't filed a thing in that time. Same with the 10mts we had her. It just just that long for that date to finally be scheduled. It seems she would wait until soemone takes her to court. I hope for the other dad he solely gets supervised visitations as theirs is in his county instead of hers. Idk yet but this county she's on always pities her somehow. Dh has custody so we ont see the point in this case BUT in the chance she does I think filing a restraining order may be a good option also. Thanks again