Any BF who have won custody?
Are there any BF who have won full custody? If so, how?
My fiance is in need of advice of trying to get full custody of his 3-year-old daughter. BM is clearly unfit but the court seems to just let it go. They share 50/50 but each time soon to be SD is brought back she is ALWAYS sick! I understand children get sick but she seems to get sicker than most. She has constant ear infections, colds and just got over pneumonia that she happened to catch from BM other child (9yr old son). We found out SD was really sick when BM dropped her off on father's day and said, "she hasn't been feeling well since last night and feels a little warm". BM said that she needed to hurry up and leave to get her BS to his baseball game two hours away. When I took SD temp it was 103.6! Took her to the doctor the next day to find out she had a double ear infection and pneumonia. Is a baseball game more important? Today we just found out that she now has a double ear infection and possibly strep. BM lies about many things. Just this past weekend she said SD needed to stay with us because she needed to go away for work (which was no problem with us) when she was actually going camping with new bf. There's nothing wrong with going on a little vaca but why not tell us the truth just in case something happens? SD also comes home saying that BM's younger half sister's, half sister (who all live with BM in BM dad's home), tell her to say things. She comes home saying super inappropriate things. This breaks the agreement signed in court and BM says that she has no control over it. BM also drops SD off with cuts a bruises without knowing how they got there. I understand that kids get cut up and hurt (I did all the time when younger) but it happens every time. There is so much more to the story. Sorry for the venting but it's hard to watch a child go through this! We are really in need of advice of how to get her away from that situation. We don't want to take her away completely but believe it is in her best interest to stay with us full time. Any advice is greatly appreciated!
take her to the family doctor
take her to the family doctor and express your concerns abut her health. Document, document, document. keep track of everything, drop off, excuses and requests to keep sd. Keep records of everything. Make sure to keep track of records if kid is ill and her temp at the time of drop off if there were any medications given by bm prior. why you took her in to the doc. you get the idea. BF retained placement for the boys when bm left in the beginning because of issues like this.
report her to DCS. they'll be
report her to DCS. they'll be required to check it out at least (same thing happened with my SS and his BM) and they found more evidence against her than we ever imagined and removed the child to me and his BF. you want to document things? get an official to document it. we now have, and so does the court, all the reports made in our "file".
my husband was a truck
my husband was a truck driver, and the lawyer said there would be no way he would win custody, so while he was selling his truck and getting a different job we documented everything.
After she seen all the ammo we had BM didnt even let it go to court, she just signed.
If you can prove that you can provide a more stable, healthy hme for the child.. something that BM isnt doing.. you stand a good chance..
things that the lawyer put in the papers were things like, ss was not wearing a coat, clothes didnt fit, it listed everyone and everywhere she had lived in the past 5 yrs.. (it did for us to but that never changed), it listed jobs she had had, times they should have been taken to the drs and not drug around from place to place or dropped off (and they places they were taken when sick).. it got pretty detailed..
so i agree.. document every little thing.. even is shoes are to small, clothes are dirty, the child is not bathed, any criminal record anyone has that has lived with them or does now.. its better to have to much info than not enough.
He could talk to her and ask for every other week..and have her agree to that.. the more she signs off willingly the worse its gonna look for her..
Bm here started out with custody, dh got kids when they agreed, then she signed iwthout a fight for everyother week, then every other 2 wks, then she got them every other weekend, and now its she gets them at times and places they agree and she has no legal custody..
oh and dont forget to write
oh and dont forget to write down times and dates too, if you can, get everything in writing from bm, it might end up being irrelevant, but its like our lawyer told us it is there if there are any questions.
even document when she called, when you called there.. every little tiny thing.
oh and what from we have learned from experience, although it might be easier to do on the computer, dont uless you have a flash drive or something to back it up, cuz you can wake up one day and you computer will decide not to turn on..