You are here

Five months after awful Christmas-update

Marianne's picture

I haven't posted an update for a few months and life is pretty good. Adult SD 33 has not had one blip of contact with DH after we did not respond to her request that we not send her gifts for Christmas--just cash and a lot of it for big projects with her new house/shack.

Last December, I was out of shape and trying to emotionally dinengage from 15 years of abuse and manipulation aimed at breaking up my marriage. DH was shattered and shut down completely.

Here we are late May--Both of us are working out 3 - 5 days per week. I lost five pounds and have shaped up. It is not much weight loss, but I'm not dieting. We have been in therapy once a week and it is starting to pay off with a new mindset. Our new town is friendly and social with many retired neighbors who enjoy neighborhood walks and evening get-togethers. This is all good yet I wonder how a daughter can just dump her own father like that--mercenary. If he doesn't have big bucks to give her or for her to inherit, she is out.

I am just fine with this--better than ever. DH struggles still, but he does understand that he is not loved by her. We are getting on with our lives and I'm doing better than I ever have and plan on moving in this direction as long as there is life in my body.





ImperfectlyPerfect's picture

Excellent- way to GO! Keep up being good to you & your DH. This is such a wonderful update. 

Stepdrama2020's picture

Your life got better without the drama entitled SD and your DH knows that.

Enjoy your new happy life.

Life is good without skids trying to tear you down.


Rags's picture

toxic behavior.

Parents need to live this truth and make sure thair kids live this truth with the parenting provided by the parent.

I heard a few times from my parents "I love you, but I do not like you very much right now."

I got the common denominator speech a few times when I was navigating young man brain farts.

My parents are two of my favorite people. I am married to one of their favorite people. They tolerate me.... because they consider my wife to be their daughter.



CLove's picture

That is a WONDERFUL UPDATE post.

Here we are and its summer and Skid is going on month 4 of staying primarily with her mother. She might or might not come over this weekend, but I really just see no point in worrying about it. I signed up for a race and started a training program and signed up for a hiking challenge "blazing summer" 65 miles in 2 months Biggrin

Rags's picture

visiting so you can live your lives rather than waiting for her to either show or not?

If she does not provide... say.... 14-21 day notice, just don't be there.   Go hiking, go to a festival, start going to home openhouses at places you might be interested in living, find State/National parks, wildlife refuges, go bird watching, etc.....

When SDPS cries, tell her that if she had notified you in a reasonable and respecful manner/time she could go as well but as a proto-adult she is now required to manage notification of visitation and no one is going to sit around waiting for her.

Daddy needs to give this message under your hairy eyball.  

Only CS is paid and the only expenditures on SDPS beyond that is if she is with you and her father on a prior notice activity. And... sitting in her room brooding... is not an activity. Tell her that isolated brooding can be done at TT's place.


Take care of you CLove.

Give rose