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UPDATE*** SS Birthday at BM's House

danielsj2's picture

So thankfully I am not writing from jail nor do I need bail money--*high five

The party itself actually went fairly smooth. I did my best to keep a smile on and be polite and laid back with everyone I met. The kids had a great time and I was happy that I had prepared for the worst but it wasn't that bad... until the day after.
So at the party I met BM's sister, friends and her new boy toy. I Introduced myself with a smile and basically just treated each introduction as any other I would make throughout my life. I fully expected them to start bashing me as soon as I left.. no I don't care.. and yes I expect that-- it is her family and friends. But I wasn't prepared for the feedback I got.

The next day BM calls DH in hysterical tears going on and on about how she's so sick of me and all her friends and family commented to BM after we left about how I was super nice, pretty, and amazing with the kids. This of course set BM off on a tirade. She went off about how "I had won" because I have won over her family, kids, and now friends. She even said that she has excommunicated the friends that were at the party because they said I was pretty and really nice. She actually told them she wouldn't be their friend anymore!! Who does that?? She texted me Sunday saying "Are you happy? You won--you have destroyed all my friendships and my relationship with my family because they all seem to be in love with your Disney princess looking a$$" Although I kinda beamed when she called me a Disney princess look alike, I maintained my composure and responded in kind.

Me: I am sorry you feel that way but I can guarantee you, I acted no differently towards that group of people than I would with anyone else. It is not a popularity contest-- i just don't feel the need to exude anger and bitterness towards everyone. I in no way shape or form caused YOU to tell your friends to take a hike. That was YOUR reaction and decision and if you ask me, a fairly childish one at that. If you are that concerned with popularity I suggest you take a hard look at your own actions and how you treat those around you--loyalty is earned through kindness and mutual respect."

She just responded with a bunch of obscenities and crazy talk. A part of me does feel bad for her, but mostly I feel bad for the people around her that she treats with such contempt.

Alas I don't think there will be another joint party--but I am glad the actual event went well for the sake of the kids. I can say with 100% confidence I did not go into that party with a fake attitude or an agenda to "steal" people to my side. I didn't think there were sides. But I can honestly thank my parents for raising a girl who chooses kindness and respect over bitterness and hateful comments. Thanks Mom and Dad--you clearly did well!


moving_on_again's picture

All of BM's "friends" (I use that term loosely because it's a revolving door of people) approach me like I am going to bite their heads off because of whatever it is she told them about me. I could see BM breathing fire at a game when one of her "friends" sat down next to me and starting chatting. It, of course, led to BM. The friend said, "Oh ya, I don't talk to her anymore, she's crazy." I just nodded. LOL.

At least this means you'll never have to deal with a joint party again!

danielsj2's picture

True story. I don't think her friends even made one comment about not talking with BM anymore-- I think she just literally got mad they didn't have a horrible opinion of me after meeting me and she threw the friendship away because of that. Which is silly.

hereiam's picture

That is hysterical.

BM over here is smarter than that, she does not let her anger and bitterness show to others (at least, not right away). When we went to the hospital when my SD had her first kid, I later found out that BM agreed with everybody that I was beautiful and nice. Yeah, right.

There are all kinds of disordered people out there. I'm not sure which is worse, the ones who can hide it or the ones who let it all hang out.

danielsj2's picture

HAHAHAH according to DH I am more of a Rapunzel from Tangled... Guess I know what my Halloween costume will be!!!!

secret's picture

LOL - that's hilarious!

It's always a hoot when BM's try and insult SM's when the SM is just overall a better person. As if it's a personal affront that everyone around them no longer buys into their petty jealousy... it's amusing when they're put back in their place by people who see the SM isn't really all the crap BM spouted out about...

danielsj2's picture

I think the real nail in the coffin was BM's Dad and older sister defending me saying that i seem genuinely nice and they kids adore me... I think that got her more than her friend's comments.

Just J's picture

That's awesome! So glad it turned out so well.

What I can't believe is that BM admitted all of that to your DH. What was she hoping that was going to accomplish? How embarrassing. Obviously the woman has no shame.

danielsj2's picture

Yes that amused me as well... like you realize I would have never have know how "awesome" everyone in your circle thinks I am if you would have kept your mouth shut right? Idiot

moving_on_again's picture

Right! The BM in my life might be crazy but she would never ever let it be known she's jealous of me. She may not be anymore, I have no clue. I only knew she was then because the kids did a 180 from the way they treated me.

ESMOD's picture

The view is great from the high

Seriously, it really pokes a hole in their stories when we show up and are reasonable, nice people.

notsobad's picture

BM would never in a million years admit that I'm nice or pretty or that the skids like me!
It's too important to her self image that I'm none of those things. She's never said anything but anyone in her circle who liked me or thought I wasn't so bad was immediately dropped.
You are either with her or against her.

The only exception is the skids. They seem to have an agreement where they don't say anything about me either way and BM doesn't ask.

After everything we've attended together (mostly skid sports) we've gotten a text saying how I'm overstepping my bounds and I need to back off.
In the past friends of both DH and BM have said how nice I am, that I'm friendly and polite and not what they'd been expecting?
We think the back off texts are to tell me to stop talking to anyone connected with the skids in any way. I'm just supposed to stand there mute so as not to ruin the bad image BM has painted of me.

Hennypenny's picture

I hope I never have to hear my closest friends and family gush about how BM is so nice, pretty, and amazing. They may think it, but they don't need to tell me about it.

moving_on_again's picture

I've never considered what that would feel like. My friends and family all think BM is the spawn on satan.

danielsj2's picture

I mean BM is a pretty girl, Ive said it and I have had people in my circle say that. doesn't bother me at all. Its her character and personality when people meet her which makes her ugly. You can't make up for a toxic and mean personality with a pretty face.

notsobad's picture

BM here is the same. She is actually a very attractive woman, always has been and now spends a few bucks to maintain it. Botox, chem peels, a little lift here and there. Whatever, if it makes you feel good and you can afford it, go for it.

The problem is she can't afford it but she needs to keep up that facade. Youth and looking young make her feel superior to her contemporaries.
She has an I'm better than you attitude but I'm trying not to show it.
What makes her ugly is her attitude and her fakeness.

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Hey, BM! Jealous much??

BioHo HATES me because I can COOK and the skids were forever going home raving about my made-from-scratch baked goodies. She went so far as to DEMAND that DH return her grandmother's mixer (which she hadn't needed for 5 freaking years), thinking that would stop me. I laughed my arse off when DH told her 'I'll send it home with the skids. Aniki doesn't need it. I bought her a KitchenAid." }:)

moving_on_again's picture

As if the mixer had special powers!?

BM was jealous of my cooking, too. She told SS one time, "If you come home, I'll make you spaghetti....." SS said, "No way, moving is making chicken and noodles!" Lol. I can't imagine what she said after that as I had to leave the room from laughing. And it wasn't even on speaker phone, BM is just so damn loud we could always hear her!

Aniki-Moderator's picture

No special powers to the mixer. I had a magic crab in my kitchen!! (Simply Irresistible, 1999, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar and Sean Patrick Flannery)

The only things BioHo can cook are grilled and burnt hamburgers and hot dogs. Otherwise, her household eats a steady diet of fast food, junk food, and premade chemical-laden crap. Any entrée 'cooked' in her house is premade and frozen. Any baked good in her house is premade and store-bought. Beeyotch can't even make instant pudding or bake premade/preshaped cookies.

'Ho is so loud, I can hear her on the phone like her nasty arse is standing 3 feet away. Ish.

moving_on_again's picture

BM can make anything that goes in a fryer, frozen pizza, tacos and spaghetti. Last time she combined the two things and gave them to her skids and posted pics of them eating on the floor on her dirty ass carpet. I mean - it's disgusting. SS said all he eats is frozen pizza now. Oh, should I mention she's a school cook at a juvenile delinquent facility!?

Aniki-Moderator's picture

Moving, your skids are LUCKY!! Tacos are from Taco Bell and the only spag 'Ho makes is Chef Boyardee. ~snorty~

danielsj2's picture

HAHHAHA yes poor BM cannot cook either. SS came home one weekend and immediately asked "whats for dinner?'' I said "I thought you ate already--wasn't your mom making gumbo?" SS replied "she did--rocko (the dog) wouldn't eat it either.. so whats for dinner?" Oh man.. I busted out laughing on that one.

Feel free to send me baked treats!!!!!!