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update on feeling overwhelmed/ SD

col951031's picture

I just wanted to post an update to my situation I posted earlier in the week.
Yesterday on my lunch break my fiance suprised me for lunch. He came to tell me that he is putting the breaks on the over and above expenses for this bat mitva. He told his exwife that he will not be paying for anything extra and since he has fronted the whole load she can pay for additional things that she feels my SD needs for this event.
He also told me that he will be speaking with his daughter and "FINALLY" correcting her for her spoiled behavior and the way she treats my daughter. He said that he is not going to tolerate it anymore. He said he knows she will get angry, but he just doesn't care anymore.
He said that while he is out of work he knows that we have to cut back, but it will no longer be my children suffering while his daughter gets everything she wants.
He even took just my daughter out to dinner alone to let her know that SD's bullying will no longer be tolerated and that he will see to it that it stops immediatly.
He said that I have really good kids that don't ask for much and that he is willing to do whatever it takes to let me know that we are a "team" and that he considers us a family.
He also said that he is going to his lawyer to renegotiate his child support.
He pays over 1000.00 a month for one child and that is about 300.00 a month more than what the courts would order. He did it to just get everything over with. However, it was never a court order. He said he is done paying for everything his daughter needs and he knows he is being taken advantage of by his exwife and he is done allowing her to dictact his finances.
He made an appointment with his attorney for next week. I know she isn't going to be happy with it and the real drama will start now, but I am very happy and proud of my fiance for doing the right thing.

Jsmom's picture

Yeah - Any chance on getting the AP credit for your son now?? Glad to see he is on board. But, usually when push comes to shove these guys don't do everything they promise us...Stay on top of it with him...good luck..

col951031's picture

No the problem with the AP classes is that I moved from out of state where our old school district did not offer this. When I went to back to school night at the new school nothing was ever mentioned about AP classes.
Once my son passed his midterms with all A's first week of Dec. a letter came stating that he can take AP classes in the spring and get college credits for the. Balance was due Dec 27th in order to do this.
So I did not have the money saved as I did not know about the program. A student must pass all mid terms before the invitation comes.
I did call the school and ask why parents were not notified of this AP enrichment program and was told that it is told during Freshman Orientation. Since my son is a Junior and new the school we never attended Freshman orientation. Thus, why it came as a shock to not only myself, but my son.
My Fiance was laid off in Oct. and we really had to cut back. I asked my son's father who was not paying child support at the time to help us out with the AP classes and was told no. I asked every family memember I had, but thus it being Christmas time I was told no. They just didn't have extra to give.
As far as my fiance maybe not following through, he did have the talk with the ex wife and is NOT paying a dime for any of the extras that were thrown off. She needed the money for the bus yesterday and he did not give it to her.
I believe he will follow through as I know he has known deep down his child is over indulged/ thus became a spoiled brat.
The fact he took my daugther out to dinner to assure her all will stop was a big step I believe.

skylarksms's picture

That's WONDERFUL! I hope that he keeps his head screwed on straight. What a wonderful feeling to be HEARD!

mx4's picture

Good for you!

It is strange that you have to pay for your high-schooler's AP classes. In our state, it is free, and they can even take the college classes while in high school through PSEO program (post-secondary education option). My daughter tool 1.5-years worth of college credits before graduating from high school, and it cost me exactly zero dollars and zero cents...

Jsmom's picture

I am sorry to hear it is too late. I hope he is not having to take the class. My son is in AP stat now and it is a huge challenge for him. For us the AP classes are free. But, the exam is 87.00 for each. That is way cheaper than the amount that the class will cost in college...My son has one as a sophmore and will take three next year. I have to make sure I have the funds available. Senior year the plan is 4. THis will make him enter college as a sophomore..worth every penny.

You many not be able to do it this year, but, make sure you set the money aside for his senior year. He can take 3 classes at our school and with principal permission he can take four

Otherwise, you can look at him taking college courses as a senior. Check into that program.