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Finally he stood up for me!

Latisem's picture

Submitted by Latisem on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 9:02am

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Blended Family Issues

My husband will not be attending his family reunion. He told his aunt that if his wife and my children arent welcomed then he wont be going. Also if she keeps inviting the BM and HER BF then dont waste the energy to invite him.
This woman has been toxic since before we were married! Before I even knew who she was she started sending me emails about the problems him and BM had in their relationship. Long emails about skids were none of my business and I have nothing to do with them. How much problems BM has to deal with bc we have no rules and need to change our house to the rules BM sets. Everytime I asked for examples of what the skids get away with here NEVER could she produce one.
Then the emails were how disappointed the skids would be bc they have to miss the family reunion. How much the family missed my husband. I GAVE her his cell number, which he has had the same cell number for at least 3 years, and told her to contact him. Blocked her and now I'm over it.
He was going to attend with the skids but I drew my line in the sand:
IF he went then pack for more than the weekend! He could move in with his aunt!I was at my wits end with this family drama!

TASHA1983's picture

Submitted by TASHA1983 on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 9:40am

That is great!!!! I am very happy for you!!! Thatta way to stand up to DH and his family!!!!

Lou Salome's picture

Submitted by Lou Salome on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 9:42am

Hooray!

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Fri, 07/06/2012 - 9:47am

I just read your bio. Your DH needs to get visitation spelled out in a court order. That way, BM can't control everything.

These people don't seem to get that by excluding you, they won't be seeing their brother/son. I doubt they'd like it if anyone played these games with them and their romantic partners. I think if they want to hang out with BM aside from family gatherings, that is their choice, but inviting her to family gatherings is a big no-no.

You need to stay away from these people. Don't contact them. Block them all- on FB, your phone, email, etc. And DH needs to tell them that if they want things to change, they need to start treating you and your kids with respect as fellow humans. Nobody has to be buddy-buddy, but the exclusion from family events has to stop.

Did BM accept or decline their invite? If skids don't get to go at all, DH could use this as an opportunity to teach them that nobody likes being excluded, and ask them what they'd want him to do if his family excluded them from anything. They'd want him to take a stand for them, I bet. Then he needs to tell them that as a fellow human being and member of the family, that's all you want too.

Latisem's picture

Submitted by Latisem on Wed, 07/11/2012 - 12:00pm

BM turned down the invie this year, thats why he was invited. The aunt and BM talked and decided HE could take the kids to HIS family reunion this year. BM will alternate years with him. Once the BM and aunt worked out the details he was then let in on what was to happen. Him taking the skids and not me or mine.