BF family invites BM to family reunion w/ her bf but IM not invited

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:sick: My husband spent 15 years starting from high school with his ex-gf. They had 3 kids together. It was 15 years of complete disfunction along with many affairs. The last 2 were with his best friends. It ended with aboration #2 because she wasn't sure of who the baby belonged to. Thats why he didn't marry her and ultimately the permanent split bc she moved in her bf from the internet.
Our children went to the same school and were friends. The oldest son was bf w/ my youngest son. On fridays he would right his bike to my house and stay the weekend. I never was contacted by BM, she didn't know my #, never checked on him, and I'm not completely sure she knew where he was. AFTER his father and I started dateing then she turned on the drama!!! When he moved in then it GOT worse! When we got married all HELL broke lose! Then this very unconcerned mother wants to act as if she is mother of the year. Now sk cant spend the nite bc ONE time the 12 yr old got on the pc at 4am while everyone was asleep. Constant bickering about everything! Completely trying to micro-manage everything.
BM, her bf, and kids go to my husbands family reunions! He isn't invited bc his ex has told his family a complete line of crap which they fell for hook line and sinker! This year he is invited with his kids but me and my children ARE NOT invited.
Im exhausted! Im tired of defending myself. Im tired of my husband just going along with everything his ex throws out there.
I FEEL like he is married to her and I'm the outsider. Im at my wits end!

This is not right and he

This is not right and he should not go. His own family?

Yes i agree I hope your DH is

Yes i agree I hope your DH is defending you and NOT going to this family reunion.

That is ludicrous! I do hope

That is ludicrous! I do hope your DH doesn't go. What is wrong with these people?

How is someone's WIFE not

How is someone's WIFE not invited to a family reunion?

Really they all sound like high drama, you and DH just make other plans and let BM and his family enjoy whatever lovefest they've cooked up. They sound toxic.

YES his own family! The only

YES his own family! The only reason why I'm not invited is bc of the drama that his ex stired up. His Aunt decided to email me about the kids bed times, healthy dinner, and how what goes in OUR house should follow his ex's rules. She never asked if things being told to her where true. I told her the actual truths of what had happened.
*My daugheter was excited they were coming to visit so she made the kids cupcakes. She gave them each one 2 hrs before dinner. I had made a spinach n strawberry salad, grilled chicken, and aspargus. The kids didnt like any of it so their dad went and got them McDonalds. Their mother feeds them fast food several times a week, dinner in a box, or microwave.
No matter how I tried to explain the insults kept coming! Then its was endless emails about his and his ex's relationship. Defending my husband to HIS aunt made me the drama queen.
Now him and his ex can alternate years at HIS family reunion. This is his year. His reasoning is to try and make peace with his aunt for me. I dont want to be invovled with that kind of family. I could understand the family having a relationship with her still but all boundaries of respect have been crossed.
My son and myself are going to his grandparents house for the weekend. He will be taking his children to his family reunion. My family has basically UNINVITED him to everything. My dad said "If he cant stand by his wife, then we dont feel the need to stand by him."

aunt needs to learn what aunt

aunt needs to learn what aunt means and mind her own damn business. i hate how my brother and his gf raise my 5 year old neice. she's up till way past midnight, they fight in front of her, they are both unemployed and my brother isn't even trying to get a job, he even said that as long as he has family around, he knows he'll be ok, which means he'll just let us support him while he lays around and gets high! he came into the store i work in one night at 11 pm high as a kite with my neice. she shouldn't have been up and out that late, and he shouldn't have been high! she starts kgarten in the fall and they live with my mom right now, who is a drunk. that kid has no stability in her life at all. i want to take her and raise her myself.

but i keep my mouth shut because she isn't my child and i can't control what they do. bitching at them will not make them suddenly do right, it will just result in them being mad at me and me not being able to see my niece. minding your own business can be hard sometimes, but it has to be done. why can't people understand that?

i would not answer to that aunt at all. answering her justifies her belief that she has the right to ask questions and make demands in the first place.

^^^^^ For the ove of god

^^^^^ For the ove of god this. WHy answer the crazy aunt at all? I would have said

A. If you beleive all of BM's crap you have way more issues than I can explain to you.
B. How is anything going on in this situation any of your concern? Oh wait! It isn't!

I would tell DH that if he is going to that reunion withotu you and your kids then he should not just pac a suitcase but ALL of his stuff because you wanted a partner, not to be a doormat.