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Does anyone else’s crazy BM not want kids with you?

Biostep7777's picture

I have a great relationship with my step kids. I have kids too. I have mine 50/50 and we get step kids every Thursday and every other Thursday-Monday 

On the Fridays we have the kids I always take my kids to do something fun in the summer but BM has withheld stepkids until this year as we finally got a TPA hearing and a court order. So, today I took all the kids to a lake to swim while DH is working and he will meet us back home later in the afternoon. She is going to be pissed that I took them while DH worked. She feels if they are not with DH they should be with her. However, that doesn't apply to her. She can go to work and leave them with whoever she wants of course. Lol!! If she complains of course we are going to completely ignore her but it's just so strange that she doesn't want them with me ever. I treat these kids with nothing but kindness and love and she knows that and has never said anything bad about me ever. They are all having a blast but she's going to be upset about it?? Whyyyyy!!!??? 

hereiam's picture

It's just her own insecurities. And her own hate and anger.

Cookieboom's picture

BM didn't want SS with BF's xgf, tellling SS "I don't want you over that b#^*es house," and SS started refusing to do anything with xgf and her kids when they all got along.  They are all in the same grade/school and to this day, SS has nothing to do with them anymore.  She also told SS that xgf was crazy and a sl@@.  BM eventually broke them up, xgf dumped him and stated that she never wanted to deal with BM again.

She ran off with her married BF, he left her for his wife the umpteenth time, she came back around to see me in the picture and started her venom against me.  (We know for a fact that they are now split up, he left the state with his wife) and now BM told SS that I'm the new sl@@ and I was going to give him, BM/GBM covid and GBM  would die and it would be all my fault!!!!

BM told BF in front of SS that she dumped her BF for the sake of SS (which is a lie he went back to his wife) and BF needed to do same.   

I think she can't handle another woman raising her son, as SS liked me and my kids and no issues with me until she came back around.  

Aniki's picture

Depends on the BM. Some expect you to skidsit while others do everything they can to keep the skids away from the evil SM.

Any time DH had to work overtime on his weekend, BioHo expected me to skid-sit. After all, getting drunk and laid took precedence!

Seriously though, I would not have minded watching the skids every now and again, but not when 'Ho is the mother. I was supposed to skidsit while she did her damndest to step-PAS the skids against me. WTH.

lieutenant_dad's picture

"Depends on the BM. Some expect you to skidsit while others do everything they can to keep the skids away from the evil SM."

Or sometimes you end up with the REALLY crazy ones that do both! SM is just so awful to the kids until BM has a hot date and needs a sitter. Then SM is awful because she won't "help".

OP, don't try to make sense of it. Unless the CO says you can't have the kids, ignore her tantrums.

CastleJJ's picture

Yes, it is BM's own insecurities. What DH does with skids on his parenting time is none of her business. IGNORE. 

Biostep7777's picture

He said that before (a long time ago) and she said "they are my children! Everything they do is my business" 

CastleJJ's picture

Our BM is so against SS9 being with DH and myself, that she sent DH an email last weekend accusing DH and I of physical abuse. 

BM believes that DH and I are incapable of taking care of SS, yet we take care of SS better than she does, since she pawns him off on the entire neighborhood solely to get out of having to parent. 

Findthemiddle's picture

Don't engage.  Let your husband handle.  

SeeYouNever's picture

TBH BM is like this and I don't mind because I was always off the hook for childcare. It began with SD telling us she was uncomfortable with me, when she was 6. She was definitely coached I to saying it because she was totally fine just a month prior.

Biostep7777's picture

Yeah if I didn't have kids I would probably just bow out as much as possible but our kids do love each other (although step kids know it's not allowed so they try and hide it) 

Sandybeaches's picture

Anywhere near me, she still doesn't and they are adults.  Sadly it ruined any relationship I could have had with them.  It fueled the distrust I have in the SK's especially SD reporting things back to her.  I think many problems in step life lead back to BM's.  

If my DH had his head out of the sand earlier on it could have helped but he was a afraid of BM's crazy antics and so he catered to her.  Now they are adults and the kids caterer to her.  Nip it now if you can!!

Floral_SM's picture

Toxic BM is exactly the same. She is SUPER jealous and threatened. She hates you are a good parent and hates you are doing a better job than her. Ignore her and continue doing what you are doing.  

FinallySkidFree's picture

BM used to pull crap like this with us all the time. "I don't want my kids around (insert expletive here)! Tell your (insert expeltive here) not to blow dry my daughters hair, she's burning her hair. Tell her to stop cutting her nails, she can't scracth herself when she has an itch. Tell her to stop putting those dresses on her, SD doesn't like them!" So when I stopped doing SDs hair, cutting her nails, dressing her cute as hell, she would tell SD "Ask her to do your hair, you have a party to go to." I would be like "Nope, tell her to take you to the salon." 

Tell her to get send an outfit for your graduation.

"Nope, she can take you shopping, I have awful taste and you hate the clothes I buy you."

She despised me, still despises me and it's been 21 years!!!!  Ignore the whore.

Rags's picture

SpermGrandHag did not want SS with his mom and I so strongly that she fraudulently went after custody of SS by forging the Sperm Idiot's signature on the custody suit.

And..... would conveniently forget to put SS on the return flight from Sperm Land to reality.  In the 16+ years of the CO we had to have the police or Sheriff accompanied by my FIL hunt down the Sperm Clan to collect SS after she did not put him on the home flight a number of times.  She loved having the police at her home, her office, at family reunions, and at her Church to collect my SS in front of her neighbors, coworkers, family, and fellow Church members.

Diablo