New here
Hi, this is an introduction I am 50 years old and I've been married to my 65 year old husband for 7 years. His 32 year old daughter is a huge pain in my backside, has been as long as I've known her.
She has two kids and is pregnant with number 3, all by different fathers. The oldest doesn't live with her and at 13 she doesn't seem sure of where he lives. We think with her ex's (not his father) ex-girlfriend. The current boyfriend is unemployed and she quit her job to refinish furniture and make barn doors. Over the last few years we have given her $8,000 to buy a house (it went to foreclosure), buy a car when she wrecked the truck my husband gave her when her car was repossessed, and most recently a $3,500 "loan" to buy a trailer in a park.
Then a month after the loan, (ha ha, she's never paid anybody for anything in her life), she asked for the space rent because she got a 72 hour notice. The answer was no. Bank of Dad is closed.
Her response was multiple walls of text throwing a fit about "Why now? You're my Rock I can depend on." Husband is as pissed as I've ever seen him. She's no longer speaking to us and she unfriended me on Facebook. Oh cry me a river, Princess.
She lives in another state, thank God, so I don't have to see her.
I have so many stories I don't know where to start . Last Thanksgiving she wanted to rent a beach house for the holiday so I did that. It seemed like a good idea so I wouldn't have to go to her house. It was a 6 hour drive for us and 1 1/2 hours for her. She asked me to get a bigger beach house so her boyfriend's family could come and we could meet his parents and his sister wanted to come, too. I spent $1,600 to rent it for 4 days. No one else chipped in a red cent. And his parents either forgot or never agreed to come in the first place and she can't seem to locate her 13 year old so it was just 5 of us in a huge 5 bedroom house right on the beach. So they invited his looney drunk brother and his crazy girlfriend. Stepdaughter needed to rent a car but she doesn't have a credit card or bank account and she had to have a credit card with her name on it. I had a card issued to her so that they would rent the car to her and by the time I got the card back she had $600 charged to it, including her phone bill.
Her mom passed away a few years ago and she brought her mom's remains along for the trip, set them in the living room in front of the TV. Not in an urn, just in the lockbox thing from the mortuary and she decided that my trip I spent a crap ton of money for was the perfect place to spread "some" of her mom's ashes.
Oh Lord. Not looking for advice. Don't worry, not one more red cent to Princess. Just looking for folks who've been there, done that and can commiserate. Some days it's like I'm the crazy one
Gah. What a piece of trash.
Gah. What a piece of trash.
Been there.
Been there.
But now I'm envious that your husband has seen the light and closed the bank! It sounds like it cost you a fortune in cash and emotional energy, but maybe yours is a rare success story.
Good luck. I hope the bank is shuttered for good!
progress
Thats great that he took some kind of action. A step in the right direction.
I love the comment "Why NOW??
I love the comment "Why NOW??"
It just goes to show they will keep on taking unless you put a complete stop to it.
Do not spend any more money on the asshole. I'd even take it a step further and demand the 'loans' be re paid asap.
Ugh, she sounds like the self
Ugh, she sounds like the self-entitled, disrespectful, OSD I've had to deal with. Well, not dealing with her anymore thankfully.
She, like yours, only called my DH whenever she needed money for something, something purchased for her, attempts to plan things to break us up, or when DH should buy something for her child. Otherwise, she could care less and doesn't talk to DH anymore, since she has labeled him a bad grandpa because he won't buy her child anything.
OSD hates me, as she blames me for DH not playing along with her hateful games anymore. I don't get why these adult skids cannot hold DH accountable for things he wishes to not do or do. It's always the stepparent's fault, rarely the bio parent.
I won't ever do anything for her ever again. No presents, no nothing. She has wished me out offer life and that is what she is getting. DH doesn't give her money anymore and has nothing to with her. She has poisoned so many relatives and friends that I am so evil. Ugh, I could go on forever about the antics.
welcome to the club. You are not alone in dealing the hateful adult spawn.
Disrestep, You said "OSD
Disrestep, You said "OSD hates me, as she blames me for DH not playing along with her hateful games anymore. I don't get why these adult skids cannot hold DH accountable for things he wishes to not do or do. It's always the stepparent's fault, rarely the bio parent. "
^^^^^^^^^^^^I go through the same thing with my husbands adult daughter and I find that its easier for them to blame us the (stepmoms) for whatever issues they are having than hold their fathers accountable. I was always a source of support for her and yet we get blamed for things that we had NOTHING to do with, things that are not in our control. So with that good riddance and disengagement is fully on and guess what.....
Its been fabulous and peaceful, and don't regret one single moment since.
What a piece of trash your
What a piece of trash your husband's daughter is.
My DH's older daughter is similar, and I can't even begin to understand how their brains work. No guilt, no shame, no conscience, just entitlement and narcissism.
OSD38 has had a grand total of five jobs, none of which lasted for more that a few months because she cannot get along with or take direction from anyone. She has stated that she doesnt want to work, and shouldnt have to. Before our estrangement, she shamelessly used the gskids to extort and exploit us, and the more we gave, the more she wanted. OSD has never taken her dad out to lunch or even bought him a cup of coffee but would happily bleed us dry if we let her.
The only way to handle a grifter or narc is to stay away from them. We are seven years No Contact with OSD38, and she lives only a few miles away. Just watch - your DH's daughter will reach out when she gets desperate. Good on your DH for shutting down the ATM. You'll need every penny for retirement. It's not like these selfish users will ever be inclined or able to care for their parents, anyway.