It hasn't happened yet. There are a lot of really terrible people in the world. Often times those with no concience or regard for the feelings of others do quite well for themselves. What is a couple more?
but his sense of entitlement and the world owes him a favour attitude is still there. We have already informed both he and his sister that they are not in our will and will be getting nothing. DH has paid for them for the first 18 years of their lives and gifted BM the house- that is their inheritance from DH. BM has never paid for anything. I did have a moment of gleeful mirth when I told SS that he will receive nothing should the unfortunate happen and his stepfather outlive BM. SS went a peculiar shade of greyish/white given how money orientated he is.
Having the choice to contribute financially once SS turned 18 certainly has given me the room to breathe. Any contributions will be behaviour based and as he is a horrible a$$hole currently, he gets nothing. I am lucky in the sense that DH is on board with this approach.
DH has paid through the nose for those brats for years. It’s our turn now. The only upside of having SD(almost 17) living with us now is that we don’t have to pay BM a cracker and we are in control of what gets spent on her and when.
You are very lucky your DH is on board. Mine drives me crazy. Skid24 is a horrible excuse for a human being. He can behave disgustingly to everyone including his dad, then in the next breathe ask for money because he is broke and daddy just hands it over. It makes me sick.
I’d find that so difficult to deal with Grace especially if it was money that you could put to better use and money that the stepkids just do not deserve.
I think because DH was so generous in the divorce with BM, he is of the view that anything past 18 it is on her to provide.
I couldn’t watch DH get rinsed by them for money. Where and when does it stop?
SS34 is still pissed that his parents were not filthy rich like many of his private school friends. BM and DH both have degrees and have always had decent jobs. He loves to talk about how poor they were growing up. Idiot.
I have 3 sk aged 22(sd), 20(ss) and 13 (sd) and i have 2 kids with my husband aged 1.5 (son) & 3 (daughter). The girls had been kidnapped by biomum 1.5 yrs before i met hubby and only initiated contact 6 months ago, hubby had sole custody of ss and out of guilt pampered him and thats backfired big time because he’s a self entitled rude little shit.
he actually told my inlaws that it was a womans job to raise kids and do housework. He has never spent time with our kids, tells hubby he doesn’t know how to show affection and shouldn’t be forced to spend time with his siblings. His priority is lock himself up in his bedroom playing computer games
he has excuses for everything and why he can’t do basic things. He expects us to drop everything for him at seconds notice, expects hubby pamper him for a family holiday which i told hubby “newsflash, noone wants to go on holidays with your 3 kids from ex where they play happy family and ignore your wife and 2 kids with her!”, i told hubby to go on holiday and he said hell no, i would never go alone.
he says he loves me and our kids more than we know but why allow us to be treated this way, purely because your shitty kids think they can.
22 yr old told her dad 1st day back initiating contact that he was to continue paying her child support as she and her mum are financially covering all expenses for the younger 13 yr old sister, the same kid hubby already pays child support to the exwife for, the same kid hubby chose to pay way more than what court ordered because he has a good paying job. The nerve of that 22yr old!! Only cares for herself and her sis and mum that they don’t have to work their arses off.
Meanwhile my 2 kids have nowhere near and never will financially benefit to the same extent as these stepkids
hubby knows because of his 3 dysfunctional kids who’ve been kept dumb by bio mum, lack critical thinking skills, lack basic skills to anything, that he can’t leave me and our 2 kids in a financial mess when he dies because hubby knows he can’t trust his kids to be fair because they are under control of the exwife. So hubby made me executor of his life insurance policy, and he has been transferring money to my account every month to transfer back to my home country as savings.
He told his kids to be civil and nice with me or it’ll be very difficult for me to wanna help them in tough times. They said they had no objections but same shitty behaviour continues. They’re lazy little shits and hubby finally in the past 1.5 months disengaged from them.
Why? Reality check from me was telling him his kids do not care or love him one bit. Why constantly message them every few days what they had for dinner etc and what they’re doing when they never care about you. So i told hubby if he didn’t contact them for a week, they wouldn’t bother contacting him unless they needed favours or money. Only calls from 20yr old ss are i need money in my bank account and pay my phone bill. Idiot subscribed to games and racked up a shitload of sms’s that he claimed he never did and hubby has to pay for them.
hubby is enjoying the disengagement and knows he can’t live life with his kids expecting they’re the centre of attention always. We need to live our life.
ss comes home on uni breaks and weekends, he refused to come back since 6-7 weeks ago because of imaginary stress syndrome from being told to behave, be respectful and do chores too. Meanwhile my 2 kids (1.5 & 3) help with chores... how is it my kids are a million times more matured than the stepkids?
i got to a point now where no way in hell will me or my kids cop the financial costs or be put at a serious financial disadvantage of hubby being blackmailed and guilted financially by his kids beyond adulthood when they have done nothing to better themselves.
Hubby told me he made a decision to give a lumpsum of inheritance cash money to his 3 kids, anything else is upto me to manage because of our age difference, its there as a backup incase hubby dies while our kids are still minors and in primary school for example.
knowing their bio mum, she’d be all out trying to sue me for everything you could imagine because even now, she has never done a thing to better herself or her life, she’s still trying to benefit off rich exhusband by manipulating her kids into doing her dirty work despite being married to a new husband since almost 10 yrs ago.
i want these kids to get the harsh dose of reality but i’m at a stage where i care nothing about them. Any apology is too late for me to care... icing on the cake will be when they marry and they don’t have me there because it’ll upset bio mum who has supposedly moved on and to be honest, i wouldn’t go if invited, little shits can do damage control explaining to family why me, hubby and our kids aren’t there
The day my SD & SS graduate high school and get the hell out of my house can’t come soon enough. I think their BD will continue to bail them out but it will no longer be my problem. The entitlement, spoiled attitude once again reared it’s head last night when 15 year old SD wasn’t allowed to be at a boys house until 1:30 like her friend. She’d wanted to stay at BD’s last night because he would have let her go. She made our night a living hell because she didn’t get her way. Can’t wait for he to experience real life and real life out of my house.
Entitled, lying, lazy & loveable (yes, I love him dearly) SSalmost19 got kicked out but thinks he's gonna move back in. I recently separated our checking accounts and have told DH that if he needs more time "raising my son!" then he can rent a place to go do that in.
I'm done living like that. Done.
Just have to standstrong & not give in to SS & triangulated DH.
SS lived with DH for a few years after he got out of juvie at 18 for some unnamed crime. DH had him evicted with police escort when he was about 21 or 22.
I met DH a couple of years later. SS, BM and I lived in the same city. DH was a couple of hundred miles away. DH reconnected with after moving to our area. DH asked if I could try to accept SS. I did. It didn’t work.
DH has enough income to support himself but he really has no discretionary extra income. And not one penny of my money will go to SS. So SS is up a creek - but he is very good at finding women to mooch off of.
I don’t care if SS is homeless or hungry - not my problem. If his own mother doesn’t want to bail him out well it is NOT my problem.
ss33 still gets away with acting like an overgrown toddler in the "real" world. He sponges off of mommy and his new gf who pick him up whenever he decides to quit a job.
I dunno - BM has survived to
I dunno - BM has survived to middle age lying, cheating, stealing and generally being a horrible person. Don't see why SS can't do the same.
It hasn't happened
It hasn't happened yet. There are a lot of really terrible people in the world. Often times those with no concience or regard for the feelings of others do quite well for themselves. What is a couple more?
SS is now 18
but his sense of entitlement and the world owes him a favour attitude is still there. We have already informed both he and his sister that they are not in our will and will be getting nothing. DH has paid for them for the first 18 years of their lives and gifted BM the house- that is their inheritance from DH. BM has never paid for anything. I did have a moment of gleeful mirth when I told SS that he will receive nothing should the unfortunate happen and his stepfather outlive BM. SS went a peculiar shade of greyish/white given how money orientated he is.
Having the choice to contribute financially once SS turned 18 certainly has given me the room to breathe. Any contributions will be behaviour based and as he is a horrible a$$hole currently, he gets nothing. I am lucky in the sense that DH is on board with this approach.
DH has paid through the nose for those brats for years. It’s our turn now. The only upside of having SD(almost 17) living with us now is that we don’t have to pay BM a cracker and we are in control of what gets spent on her and when.
You are very lucky your DH is
You are very lucky your DH is on board. Mine drives me crazy. Skid24 is a horrible excuse for a human being. He can behave disgustingly to everyone including his dad, then in the next breathe ask for money because he is broke and daddy just hands it over. It makes me sick.
I’d find that so difficult
I’d find that so difficult to deal with Grace especially if it was money that you could put to better use and money that the stepkids just do not deserve.
I think because DH was so generous in the divorce with BM, he is of the view that anything past 18 it is on her to provide.
I couldn’t watch DH get rinsed by them for money. Where and when does it stop?
SS34 is still pissed that his
SS34 is still pissed that his parents were not filthy rich like many of his private school friends. BM and DH both have degrees and have always had decent jobs. He loves to talk about how poor they were growing up. Idiot.
Yes & no for me
I have 3 sk aged 22(sd), 20(ss) and 13 (sd) and i have 2 kids with my husband aged 1.5 (son) & 3 (daughter). The girls had been kidnapped by biomum 1.5 yrs before i met hubby and only initiated contact 6 months ago, hubby had sole custody of ss and out of guilt pampered him and thats backfired big time because he’s a self entitled rude little shit.
he actually told my inlaws that it was a womans job to raise kids and do housework. He has never spent time with our kids, tells hubby he doesn’t know how to show affection and shouldn’t be forced to spend time with his siblings. His priority is lock himself up in his bedroom playing computer games
he has excuses for everything and why he can’t do basic things. He expects us to drop everything for him at seconds notice, expects hubby pamper him for a family holiday which i told hubby “newsflash, noone wants to go on holidays with your 3 kids from ex where they play happy family and ignore your wife and 2 kids with her!”, i told hubby to go on holiday and he said hell no, i would never go alone.
he says he loves me and our kids more than we know but why allow us to be treated this way, purely because your shitty kids think they can.
22 yr old told her dad 1st day back initiating contact that he was to continue paying her child support as she and her mum are financially covering all expenses for the younger 13 yr old sister, the same kid hubby already pays child support to the exwife for, the same kid hubby chose to pay way more than what court ordered because he has a good paying job. The nerve of that 22yr old!! Only cares for herself and her sis and mum that they don’t have to work their arses off.
Meanwhile my 2 kids have nowhere near and never will financially benefit to the same extent as these stepkids
hubby knows because of his 3 dysfunctional kids who’ve been kept dumb by bio mum, lack critical thinking skills, lack basic skills to anything, that he can’t leave me and our 2 kids in a financial mess when he dies because hubby knows he can’t trust his kids to be fair because they are under control of the exwife. So hubby made me executor of his life insurance policy, and he has been transferring money to my account every month to transfer back to my home country as savings.
He told his kids to be civil and nice with me or it’ll be very difficult for me to wanna help them in tough times. They said they had no objections but same shitty behaviour continues. They’re lazy little shits and hubby finally in the past 1.5 months disengaged from them.
Why? Reality check from me was telling him his kids do not care or love him one bit. Why constantly message them every few days what they had for dinner etc and what they’re doing when they never care about you. So i told hubby if he didn’t contact them for a week, they wouldn’t bother contacting him unless they needed favours or money. Only calls from 20yr old ss are i need money in my bank account and pay my phone bill. Idiot subscribed to games and racked up a shitload of sms’s that he claimed he never did and hubby has to pay for them.
hubby is enjoying the disengagement and knows he can’t live life with his kids expecting they’re the centre of attention always. We need to live our life.
ss comes home on uni breaks and weekends, he refused to come back since 6-7 weeks ago because of imaginary stress syndrome from being told to behave, be respectful and do chores too. Meanwhile my 2 kids (1.5 & 3) help with chores... how is it my kids are a million times more matured than the stepkids?
i got to a point now where no way in hell will me or my kids cop the financial costs or be put at a serious financial disadvantage of hubby being blackmailed and guilted financially by his kids beyond adulthood when they have done nothing to better themselves.
Hubby told me he made a decision to give a lumpsum of inheritance cash money to his 3 kids, anything else is upto me to manage because of our age difference, its there as a backup incase hubby dies while our kids are still minors and in primary school for example.
knowing their bio mum, she’d be all out trying to sue me for everything you could imagine because even now, she has never done a thing to better herself or her life, she’s still trying to benefit off rich exhusband by manipulating her kids into doing her dirty work despite being married to a new husband since almost 10 yrs ago.
i want these kids to get the harsh dose of reality but i’m at a stage where i care nothing about them. Any apology is too late for me to care... icing on the cake will be when they marry and they don’t have me there because it’ll upset bio mum who has supposedly moved on and to be honest, i wouldn’t go if invited, little shits can do damage control explaining to family why me, hubby and our kids aren’t there
Not sure it will happen
I can see both BM and DH bailing the kids out of trouble when they are 30
Can’t come soon enough
The day my SD & SS graduate high school and get the hell out of my house can’t come soon enough. I think their BD will continue to bail them out but it will no longer be my problem. The entitlement, spoiled attitude once again reared it’s head last night when 15 year old SD wasn’t allowed to be at a boys house until 1:30 like her friend. She’d wanted to stay at BD’s last night because he would have let her go. She made our night a living hell because she didn’t get her way. Can’t wait for he to experience real life and real life out of my house.
Oh Yes, I'm With You!
Entitled, lying, lazy & loveable (yes, I love him dearly) SSalmost19 got kicked out but thinks he's gonna move back in. I recently separated our checking accounts and have told DH that if he needs more time "raising my son!" then he can rent a place to go do that in.
I'm done living like that. Done.
Just have to stand strong & not give in to SS & triangulated DH.
SS lived with DH for a few
SS lived with DH for a few years after he got out of juvie at 18 for some unnamed crime. DH had him evicted with police escort when he was about 21 or 22.
I met DH a couple of years later. SS, BM and I lived in the same city. DH was a couple of hundred miles away. DH reconnected with after moving to our area. DH asked if I could try to accept SS. I did. It didn’t work.
DH has enough income to support himself but he really has no discretionary extra income. And not one penny of my money will go to SS. So SS is up a creek - but he is very good at finding women to mooch off of.
I don’t care if SS is homeless or hungry - not my problem. If his own mother doesn’t want to bail him out well it is NOT my problem.
ss33 still gets away with
ss33 still gets away with acting like an overgrown toddler in the "real" world. He sponges off of mommy and his new gf who pick him up whenever he decides to quit a job.