Kids in the bedroom
How does everyone feel about the adult bedroom being a kid free zone? If any of the skids have a tummy ache or can't sleep they want to be in our bedroom but proceed to watch tv loudly in the bedroom for long periods of time while I am trying to sleep or would like one on one time with DH. It is not until I get up to go onto the couch in the living room that DH finally tells his kid (9) to go back to bed only for it to be met with whining. Usually they are not feeling ill, like they claim. Usually.......they usually just want to watch tv because they can't sleep and do not have tv's in thier rooms. I find this to be very annoying. I also do not like skids coming into our room in the morning either for no reason whatsover. They have already gotten up and had breafast but feel the need to come into our room to ask DH something unimportant that can wait 5 minutes and will slam the door when leaving. I am usually either getting dressed or just waking up when this happens.How does everyone feel about this?
We made our bedroom a kid
We made our bedroom a kid free zone a long time ago. If one of the skids feels sick or cannot sleep DH will go into their room and be with them. They are not allowed in our room at night, period. They are not allowed in our bedroom during the day without asking first. I have never understood parents who want sick children in their bedrooms as it will quickly spread the illness to eveyrone else in the house and act as an epicenter for the illness. It is just irreponsible. Skid being in your bedroom for the sake of watching tv because he can't sleep and is bored is ridiculous and entitled. If skid cannot sleep he should stay in his bedroom and read until tired. If he knows he can watch tv in your room at night he will. This will create a problem further down the road. Just send him back to his room with a favorite book. That should solve the problem.
So you are usually getting dressed when skid
Invites themselves into your bedroom, your private place or is already in while you are showering etc and just stays there when you come out of the shower?
that happened once while we were staying at hubbys family home. We have our bedroom there but this room never existed when hubby was married to exwife. It was only when we married his family decided to create this room so we had our private space for me and hubby and our toddlers/babies
right after having my 2nd child and barely a month old, i came out of the shower to a 19yr old ss just laying on my side of the bed, he had invited himself in and just laid there next to my crying newborn and hadn’t gone to get his dad. He just let our baby cry. My husband had left the room but closed the door and noone enters that room without knockig unless you are ss who invited himself in.
He promptly left when i gave him the “get the eff out” look. As i’m getting dressed and naked and hubby is in our room, ss19 knocks and before you can even respond he has walked in. Hubby was at the door and blocked him. Firstly ss never knocked and asked “dad can i come in or is anyone in there?” He just knocked 3 times quickly and barged in.
Hubby told him he had no business in our bedroom and he could wait to meet hubby outside. My husband separates the common space from our private retreat bedroom because that is our intimate place. He doesn’t want kids from ex wife laying on the bed that he’s having regular sex with me. They have their own beds and rooms and they need to respect my privacy and boundaries which they do not because they play dumb often. But hubby always ensures on holidays its separate rooms, never shared etc...
ss and sd’s are not my family so they can’t expect to be in our private place...
I let my daughter in my room
I let my daughter in my room but not SD.... haha oh well. Your skids are 9? Yeah too old for that. DH can go to their room if he wants to spend time with them after bedtime.
As for the first 10 yrs of my
As for the first 10 yrs of my relationship with DH, I spent a lot of my time in self-banishment to our bedroom, NO NO NO SKIDs were not allowed in there on pain of death. It was the one place I could get peace. Cross the threshold at your peril, SDs.
This was discussed with DH
This was discussed with DH before we moved into our home. No kids in mater suite unless permission is given.
OSD took some time to learn this and with me being consistent in telling her over and over, "Go back and knock, wait for permission..." She'd just lightly knock and walk right in. NOPE. I know she has been in our room w/out permission (left some hair things in our bathroom), but nothing's been taken.
YSD learned quick and still adheres to this rule with no questions.
No kids w/out permission, that's it.
The MBR is adult space
The MBR is adult space accessed by kids only as stiplated by the adults, both adults, whose room it is.
End of discussion.
If DH wants them in the room and you don't, they don't enter. Kid access to the MBR requires agreement from both adults. Either can play the kid access veto card and there is no overturning the veto.
It does not have to be complicated. It is just a clear "No!".
IMHO of course.