Seriously Cannot Do Anything Right for these Skids! DH finally getting it.
So the other day I sent out a thank you card to my SS23 and his wife (25), to thank them for the card and gift card that I received from them for my b-day. I did thank SS in person, but did his wife was not there so I opted to send a written thank you. I also sent a written thank you to my Mom and Dad, and to my daughter. Everyone likes receiving mail and thank yous.
He then texts me telling me that its not necessary for me to send him a thank you. I responded that it was how I was raised and I like to send thank yous, and have a great day :-). He then responds back telling me that you don't have to send immediate family thank yous or thank yous to persons you thanked in person -- basically giving me an etiquette lesson on thank yous because I sent a thank you. I finally said "I'm not sure why I'm getting so much flack for sending a thank you, but told him it wouldn't happen in the future." He then responds AGAIN and says that he's not giving me flack "just saying its not necessary and it makes us feel like distant family." I then responded on final response that "fyi it is flack and won't happen again."
I was so pissed by the end of the text conversation I was shaking. I realize that this in and of itself is not that big of a deal, but I'm tired of dealing with these skids and its always something with them. Try to do something right, and get flack for that.
I told my DH and he was dumbfounded and said his son was just plain stupid. He said he would talk to him.
Just goes to show that I simply can't do anything for these skids without them criticizing me.
I get thank you cards from my
I get thank you cards from my 19 year old brother - because his mother (my sm) taught him to write them. My kids send thank you notes to grand parents, aunts and uncles - who all live in the same city. Heck I even had ss13 send one to bm after he got to spend his first Christmas with her in 7 years.
By the end of all that, I
By the end of all that, I would've been sending him a "f&%^ you". How's that for etiquette?
Ungrateful ass.
"Nothing I do is received
"Nothing I do is received well. On the scale from Reaching out, to neutral, to sheer avoidance... every move I make is criticized".... Boy can I relate to that!
Oh how I understand where you
Oh how I understand where you are coming from. Seems like I can't do anything right. I feel like every word I say is used against me. Every move I make is wrong and I must be up to something. I am just waiting until they come into the bathroom one day and say she can't even **** right!
At least your DH is standing beside you and willing to say something to him.
lol! So true.
lol! So true.
It was definitely flack! I
It was definitely flack! I like to keep my Miss Manners book handy for situations like this....and if you can't find your book, you'll be happy to know that almost all of her responses can be found on line!
http://living.msn.com/life-inspired/miss-manners-advice/miss-manners-are...
I would just send that to your SS and then let your DH take you out to dinner, knowing you have educated another misguided youth!
I think the bottom line
I think the bottom line (after thinking about his over-reaction) is that he and his wife just got married, and need to be sending thank yous. I'm thinking they must have justified to themselves as to why they do not need to send thank yous to all those hundreds of people who gave them gifts! I gave her a very nice gift for her bridal shower, and never received a thank you. They think that if you thank the person in person, that it is not necessary. I disagree. When you have a bridal shower, baby shower, etc., and a gift is received, a thank you card should be sent.
I'll admit I haven't been real good about sending thank yous at times, but have gotten much better over the years. My Mom always sends me thank yous any time I do something special for her. I have told her that it is not necessary, but she still does. It doesn't make me feel any less family -- what it does it make me think that thank yous are important.
And yes, I've essentially left those skids alone since they moved out, and try not to have anything to do with them. So when I'm nice, I guess they've gotta find something to criticize me for. When they were living here with us, it was always something.
I would ask SS23 to not do laundry at midnight (and laundry room right next to our room), and yet he would go in late at night and start doing his laundry. EVERYTIME! Never failed. So who looks bad when he replays the story for his girlfriend and siblings.... me.
oh well. Such is the life of a SM. As far as his Mom teaching him anything? No. She abandoned them all in 2004, and from what I hear from everyone even when she was around she wasn't much of a mother even then.
I hope he and his wife get a
I hope he and his wife get a clue that not sending thank you cards for a wedding is rude. He sounds pretty self centered. Just because thank you cards don't matter to him, doesn't mean that the rest of the world feels the same.
Agreed Jenna, and everyone
Agreed Jenna, and everyone else who sees the stupidness of this whole thing thanks for your support! Yes, Dr. Phil...I watch him these days and think to myself, "what would he do to me if the skids were to take me on his show?" He would probably tear down everything that I would say in defense of myself. I get stressed out watching his show now due to that! haha!! One day, quite a while ago, I over heard my SD18 say something to the effect (to one of her friends) something about going on one of these talk shows and having her family on it - -something to that effect. I thought "great!" And there is NO WAY in hell I would agree to do something like that!! OH my goodness!
And yes, my SS23 is a "right fighter" -- as Dr. Phil would say. He always has to be right.
And self centered, I believe that all my skids are self centered!
I totally understand!!
I totally understand!! with these nasty steps they just love to criticize. He was rude and obnoxious.
Years ago I was accused of being TOO NICE, I was a phony. I was trying to be nice to YSd who is pretty much estranged from us and got accused of being a phony. OK THANKS for the heads up, I won't be nice anymore.
Again this was YEARS ago when I still cared. No-one has to worry about ME being too nice anymore LOL.
Yes I can limit my exposure
Yes I can limit my exposure to the "mouth breather" -- haha! Thankfully! He lives about 1 1/2 hrs away, and we do limit our time with my skids as it is. My DH doesn't seem to really care. He wants the "one big happy family", and said something like that not long ago, and I told him that until his kids changed and starting treating me respectfully that we would never have the one big happy family. I think he has resigned to the fact that they are what they are. They keep showing their true colors over and over, and while my DH would like to ignore them, I point them out to him because I said to be an ostrich is not a good thing -- and I'm the one being hurt.